Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Someone said I did not give 'Constructive Criticism' on the Super Narrow & therefore quite ugly looking Chana Era CM8 MPV - I now try to give constructive advise

Photo:Paultan.org

Recently someone complained that I did not give any 'Constructive Criticism' about a car he, or she was searching on. The person stumbled on the blog searching about the CHANA ERA CM8 Mini MPV and then said this,


"January 28, 2017 at 10:04 PM
I came here in hopes of getting any constructive criticisms and objective overview about the car. Instead, here is a guy bashing the heck out of this car, but didn't even bother testing it. What a waste of time."

The Chana Era CM8 could actually be the narrowest mini MPV ever to be sold in the universe. It is tall and narrow. As I mentioned in my previous article, of which the comment above was posted from, I'd rather get the flu than test drive one of these.

I mean honestly it looks unsafe to drive fast. It is taller than it it wide. It will have a very high center of gravity AND it will not be good for stability. Any person can see that fact. I have sat inside the car and the plastics are horrible too. Unfortunately. The only thing going for it when it was launched back in 2009 was the price - slightly under RM40,000.   

So the posted wanted some constructive criticism about the CM8. Why do you want 'Constructive Criticism' on something like this? How about advice. The advice is...

 STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS CAR.

Still not satisfied? I suppose you must have BOUGHT THE DARN THING ALREADY and need to know how to improve on a parrot fish disguised as a car. 

Aside from having great pity on you, I now suggest that you can improve it by doing the following:

Put on a RALLIART STICKER. or MUGEN. It usually works wonders on any car. See? So much better. The CM8 should be able to go faster now since the stickers add a million horsepower to the 1310cc engine. Up from 80hp. Ralliart stickers add power. Really. So I've now told you how to upgrade the performance of the CM8.



I remember the salesperson telling me that this is a mini Alphard. So you can put on a Toyota badge as well as an Alphard badge. Why not make it a Vellfire. Or both. Badging is cheap too. So now, the Chana is now a Toyota and you can now proudly tell your friends and family that you have made it in life as you now own an Alphard. Add some pink spots too. it will distract onlookers who will notice that the MPV is too narrow to be an Alphard. One more Constructive advise is that if people ask you why the heck is your Alphard or Vellfire so, so, so, so slim you can mention that this is one rare super narrow JDM variant. It is meant to move around the super narrow streets of Tokyo. And that is is not made in China. In other words...

LIE your arse off in defending the car.


The third Constructive Criticism I have about the CM8 is that it is useful as an artificial reef. Get rid of the car for Godssakes! It is a terrible piece of stop-gap engineering. Built to a budget - this was from the day when China cars were just cars built to transport billions of Chinese around. Cheaply. Comfort, safety and all other important factors in a modern automobile come secondary.

I feel that it is built to turn turtle if you drive fast and it is also very ugly because it is super narrow and tall (I did mention this already right). BUT you can save the fishes whilst doing so. Imagine how much of good you'd be doing. You'd be giving homeless fish a home. Not only fish, but octopus, sea cucumbers, sharks, prawns, lobsters, plankton, coral a home. Think of how much good you've done. You've also saved us all from having to view the car. 

There. Free, constructive advice. No unconstructive criticism from me today. I hope I did not waste anyone's time.

2 comments:

  1. President Xi Jinpeng would not be too pleased with your constructive criticisms.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry. I think in this case even he would understand.

      Delete

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