Another Activity To Waste Your Precious Sunday Away

It has been a while since my last article but I have got valid reasons for not posting anything.

1. Watching the complete Second Season of Battlestar Galactica on DVD. (all 20+ episodes in a week);

2. Watching Casino Royale. Pretty good I must say. However, not like what you’d expect but close to the Bond that Mr. Fleming pictured him to behave and act;

3. Preparing stuff for my company’s display at a certain Defence Exhibition in Indonesia as any merchant of these kind of stuff would do;

4. Discussed World politics and also the current Administration of Pak Lah with a Dutchman friend of mine; and

5. Went to a car auction.

This of course brings me to the topic of the APAC Sunday Auction for Automobiles which I attended last Sunday. Big business this auctions. You get individual sellers, companies, government bodies and banks auctioning off vehicles and you get individual buyers and also used car salesmen buying up cars for their own use or for resale. What impressed me the most is that here, you can have RM2,500.00 and be lucky to drive off in a 1988 Proton Saga (but sometimes you need a battery to get the car started or worse). How about a 1993 Isuzu Trooper 4 door (ex-Telekom Malaysia)? RM6,500.00. You get all the cred of a farmer or a contractor instead of an el-cheapo Proton Saga owner who collects scrap metal for a living cum small time crook. The engine of the trooper sounded pretty smooth as it drove by.

How about a 1996 Alfa Romeo 155 1.8 for RM18,000.00? I suppose you wouldn’t want Alfa related headaches but for RM18,000, why not? A Proton Gen2 1.6 registered in 2005 for RM33,000 would also be good. It costs RM50,000.00+ when new. A friend of mine said that he’d go to the auction and buy one when it drops to RM10,000.00 as it’s a fun car to drive and he’d love a fun car to drive it to the market and back.

If you want to start carting large stuff around or start your own pasar malam business, you have ex-Telekom Toyota Liteaces, Perodua Rusas and also the odd Proton Juara. RM6,500.00 gets you a nicely worn but mechanically sound Toyota Liteace and if you want a post 2000 van, the Juara is there although when it first came out and cost RM40K+, no one in his or her right mind would buy one because it looked downright silly and ugly. Didn’t stop my friend’s dad from buying one as it could be bought for a measly RM16,000.00 to be used as a carrier for their foodcourt stall business. Pretty good when something has a purpose instead of lugging around only people which some MPV owners fail to do.

There are cars that don’t get buyers. One such example is a Citroen C5. The reserve was set at RM40,000.00. But who would want to own pain and suffering? It’ll be like owning the Titanic knowing that it cost you a bomb and then 5 minutes later sinks in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Another example, not surprisingly are 3 units of Government utilised Proton Perdana from 1999. The opening price was RM30,000.00. No one wanted one. Not even the second hand dealers. I suppose the dreaded gearbox problems kept buyers away.

I was there at 10.50am on Sunday and stayed on till 1pm. The auction still had about 40 more cars to go and there was a nice Fiat Coupe waiting somewhere. But I don’t think it got a buyer. A nice place to waste your Sunday away unless you work somewhere around here that is.

Can't the person who blew up the Mongolian Model think of a better way to hide the evidence? And the Naza Suria.

The headlines of most newspapers these past few days are about some political/strategic/defense analyst together with 3 policemen being involved in the murder of an exotic looking Mongolian model, who purportedly had an affair with this analyst, the cause of death was a couple of bullets in the model's head and then, trying to cover up the crime by blowing her up with C4 explosives.

The moral of this story is not about someone who did a bad thing and got caught and deserves punishment. But, someone who did a bad thing, and didn’t know how to cover it up properly. It’s like watching an action movie, where the person who got killed, usually the baddie, gets stabbed, then shot, poisoned, then gets thrown out of a building. Why do you need to kill a person so many times for him to die? Or if you want to dispose of the evidence, other means are easier. Like stuffing the corpse in a barrel, filling it full of cement and dumping it in the middle of the straits of Malacca. Not nuking some bushes or trees together with a Monglian model near a densely populated area like Puncak Alam, Shah Alam.

Now the question is not whether the analyst really did such an act or did not do such an act in the first place, but why a learned man would stoop so low and end up in such turmoil. If this person, who graduated with distinction at some glorious English College, associated with tons of professional bodies, written tons of stuff, advised ministers, planned strategy and who knows what other crowning achievements, manage to be silly enough to be embroiled in tabloid fodder like this. I think that somehow, the leaders of the nation who’s being paying him visits and asking him for advice have been played like a fiddle by this guy. I mean, if he is part of this mess, or in the first place had a messy affair which led to the model being pregnant and so forth, his advice on world affairs, politics, defense and strategic planning would be actually rubbish. He however would be good at giving advice on how to have an affair with someone or tips on extra-marital sex or ways on how to bed an exotic Mongolian model. The reason being, if he were anything good on strategic planning, he wouldn’t be in remand in the first place. Or he was thinking with his loins instead of his brain.

I suppose all of us do that most of the time. You see an object of beauty and it’s not your brain that registers first. It could be your brain, but the loins actually sends impulses soaring and you (if you are a guy) may get a hard-on, if the object of beauty is a girl; or in the case of a guy in a Fiat Punto HGT in Desa Sri Hartamas last Saturday night, other guys.

If it’s a car, it would surely be some Pininfarina designed Ferrari or Maserati, a Mercedes CLS, a Jaguar E-type and so forth. But being civilised men, would you kill for a woman or would you kill a woman because you were stupid to get caught by the affair you started in the first place? Would you kill for a Ferrari Enzo? Of course that is even more unlikely.

Somehow events like this tell me that we actually have not so clever people telling other not so clever people how to run the country. It’s like the blind leading the blind. I suppose we Malaysians are a tolerant lot, we don’t like coups, we don’t like change to an extent and we just like to be left alone to enjoy our teh tarik. Unlike the Americans recently, they had their Congressional Elections and showed the current ruling party the actual sentiments of the people. We don’t like to rock the boat, and as such, the boat sinks slowly. Something like Proton; on a much larger scale.

Which brings us to my opinion on Naza’s overlapping 1.1liter cars. Recently Naza launched their rebadged version of the Kia Picanto. This car is one compact car which made waves when it was launched in UK. It did so many things so well that Autocar magazine rated it as good as the European Car of the Year, the Fiat Panda. I like this car in that the plastics used are of a quality rarely seen in small cheap Korean cars, or all Protons including their latest offerings. I know that the Picanto can corner well. Once I was on the interchange from Jalan Duta/Damansara towards Jalan Lake Gardens, a Picanto went past me doing around 80-90km/h on the bends. It looked utterly composed from behind. However, being a fully imported Kia, it costs quite a lot for a 1.1 liter car. I suppose this is why Naza, who is the importers of Kia and the assemblers of rebadged Kia MPVs decided to sell the Picanto as a Naza Suria (approx. RM44,000).

However, doesn’t Naza already have the Naza Sutera (the pic to the left) as their 1.1liter car? Talk about trying to get a bigger slice of your own cake. I know that the Sutera is based on a Chinese car (the Hafei Lobo), with lower build quality and a much cheaper price (approx. RM36,000). But somehow, this would still eat into its own market share instead of the market share of others. Somehow the corporate wheels at Naza want to just grab the market share, have a monopoly and the consumers get confused with choice. I suppose the Malaysian ‘local manufacturer’ scene is as confusing as clever people in Malaysia who do not so clever stuff.

The Top 5 Brand New Cars You Should Not Buy With Your Own Money

Last night while eating a home made club sandwich(which tasted really good), a thought came to me. What we wear or own is an extension of a person’s personality. It shows the first impression of a person, kind of like a watch. If you see a person who doesn’t wear a watch, you can somewhat tell that he does not treat time as something important. From an un-audited point of view, which even though isn’t audited by some accounting firm with a name that sounds somewhat like Fisher Price Water Fowl, I’ve noticed that most people who don’t wear watches don’t keep appointments very well. They make 'Janji Melayu' or Malay Timing appointments look very punctual and think that their handphone can double as their watch. However, the thing is, they still ask people around them the time. Less than 200grams on the wrist will not kill you.

A cheap watch however shows you at least want to know what time it is, but it also shows that you are a cheapskate. A Seiko or a Tissot would mean you have a chance at being a person with some watch sense and anything more expensive than that means you’ve basically the means to afford a lot of good things in life. However if you buy a current model Tag Heuer, you’re ensuring that they have enough money to pay for Tag’s marketing campaign. As a quartz Tag Heuer 200m diver’s watch can cost as much as a automatic Tissot 300m Diver’s watch for the same price. Somehow you could say the same about cars, some may be cheap because they are cheap, but some are expensive because you are paying for the badge in the first place. BMWs are in the latter category and the Ultimate Driving Machine is seldom bought by someone who actually drives for the fun of it here in Malaysia.

BMW 3series’ are the Ultimate Yuppie Machine. The Ultimate Poser’s Machine. The Ultimate Chick Magnet Machine. BMWs are all these and more. BMW 3series’ are mostly driven by men who work for a multi-national company, have the latest PDA phones, have their Ralph Lauren Polo t-shirts (preferably with the latest big horse logo on it) with their collars lifted up, hang out with their latest laptops at some Coffee Bistro as they prefer to WI-FI rather than talk to each other at a coffee shop and think that they know everything. However, I actually know everything and I tell you that they don’t drive their BMWs the way it should be driven. As such, if you are a car enthusiast, don’t be seen in a BMW 3 series in Malaysia. People will think you’re one of those people who are the stereotypical poser and show off. It’s like the auntie you see at a kenduri with all the jewellery, pointing left and right trying to show off the 200 gold bangles on both wrists and arms. It’s like the friend of yours who ‘inadvertently’ flicks like wrist trying to show of like new Five Thousand Ringgit Omega watch when you already have 5 or 6 nicer watches lying around in your house and couldn’t be bothered about them one bit. All of this brings me to my current list of things.

The Top 5 Brand New Cars You Should Not Buy With Your Own Money

5. Proton Satria Neo

If you’re shorter than 5feet 6inches, then this should not be on this list. But since I’m taller than that, this car makes it on this list. This is one car that the enterior space and packaging utterly disappoints anyone who needs a proper hatchback. No head room, no rear leg room, no boot compared to the earlier model. Where’s the improvement? Going backwards is left to time travellers on TV.

4. BMW 318i

Do I need to say more? It’s basically saddled with an image issue and coupled to a 2.0 liter 4 cylinder, what’s so ultimate about that?

3. Kia Spectra

Are you so much against the Malaysian car that you have to buy one of these? They are Korean, with as good/bad a build quality as a Proton. Their spare parts are not cheap and cost as much as a Japanese car, their handling is actually worse than a Proton Waja. If you want cheap, buy a Proton, it’s a waste just to spend an extra RM10,000.00 on a badge which is actually in the eyes of a motoring enthusiast as bad owning a Proton.

2. Perodua Kancil

Why? It is the cheapest brand new car you can buy on the market. But that’s the whole reason. The driving position is for small people again, too hard seats, no under thigh support, bumpy, noisy, scary to drive fast, unsafe in a crash with anything bigger than a mountain bike. Save up and buy the next car up the line, the Kelisa.

1. Honda City Tadpole

Look at it (see pic). That’s not a car. It’s a tadpole on stilts. Why can’t you have more taste and buy a Toyota Vios. What’s wrong with the people that bought it. It’s ugly. It’s like in the first place you wouldn’t want to date the girl with pimples, a gap in her teeth, thin as a pole or fat as a South African Water Buffalo and then end up marrying her.

Special mention.

The BMW 1 series. Somehow this is the ultimate badge machine. You buy this car purely for the badge as it looks so much like a fat man has sat on it and then got up and left it like that. Look at the crease line connecting the front and rear wheelarches at the base of the doors to see what I mean. Buy a Mini Cooper S for the same amount of money even though it’s a Front Wheel Driver.

There you have it. Note that I’ve left out MPVs and SUVs because they are not cars. They are MPVs and SUVs, simple as that.

Some news

INOKOM GETZ

INOKOM has just launched their version of the Hyundai Getz and as such, it’s at least RM15k cheaper than the Hyundai version at around RM58, 000. What you get however is like the Naza Peugeot Bestari; A good car which is cheaper than the imported version at the same standards. However, we also should note that these cars are actually on their last legs of production with their parent manufacturers and it only strengthens the point that we Malaysians get saddled with something a little behind the current trend. I suppose it’s still something good as we get variety at a cheaper price. But I don't like this car. It does not look like Hyundai spent enough time actually designing the car in the first place. It looks like a European design from a generation ago (circa mid90s). A better execution of this super mini segment cars still come from Europe (206, Punto) and Japan (Jazz, Sirion/Boon/Paseo/MYvi, Yaris etc). They look better balanced looking. Spend a bit more (the Naza 206 or a Toyota Yaris) or a bit less (Perodua Myvi) for something with more balanced looks.

TOYOTA CAMRY

Finally being able to view the latest Toyota Camry and I find it to be younger looking than the previous generation version and pretty sleek looking (in a latest merc S-Class kinda way with some of the BMW chief designer Chris Bungle’s touches here and there). It’ll sell well here in Malaysia. It will still capture the hearts and minds of the average Malaysian Uncle, but will also somewhat do the same to the 30somethings also. I can imagine this car with 18 inch wheels and looking cool, not looking like someone hijacked an unclemobile and slapped on big wheels and trying its very best to look cool. This is not the U.S. of A., where people think its cool driving stupid large Cadillacs with bling wheels. Another car for the Yoda age group people bought by young idiotic rap artists and drug dealers trying to look cool in an uncle car. I mean, Americans don’t have taste. Look at the latest Honda Accord arselift. They had an American focus group tell Honda that the rear lights of the original one wasn’t good looking. This was teh same with Maserati when they redesigned the 3200gt and called it the Gransport - from beautiful boomerang like rear LED lights, they went for a stupid 4th Gen Honda Prelude style lights - which coincidently looks somewhat triangular, also like the Accords. American Focus groups will eventually have all tail lights in triangles if this continues.

While the shape grows on you after a while, there shouldn't be a need for things to look good after a period of time. Its like you'd allow yourself to like that shocking pink shirt you first hated and then liking it later on. It's shocking pink for God's sake!

In short, you have my permission to buy the new Camry. As it does not make you look like an uncle. Unless you are an uncle in the first place.

The New Uncle Car, Sex and Violence and the Reasonably Priced New Car that I Own and You Can't Own Even If You Tried

Very recently Toyota launched the new Camry. A car somehow specifically designed for uncles and people who feel that they belong in the ‘uncle’ category. This category is basically filled with middle aged managers, grandfathers, slow people and also people who think that this car is suitable to be driven by a 30 year old as it exudes a sense of prestige and style. What I think is that this car is for uncles and aunts. There is nothing this car exudes other than the image of your 50 year old uncle who is slightly balding, slightly pot bellied, needs reading glasses and with hair growing out of his ears and nostrils.

The new Camry (see pic) however looks much nicer and with this would knock the average age of Camry owners down a few notches (to around 40 instead of 45 years of age) as it looks very Lexus-like and pretty smart looking with touches of BMW somewhere in its design. Copycat. But the thing about the Toyota Camry is that they always look good in the pictures, but what you might see in real life is usually quite conservative and dumpy looking and as such I'll reserve my actual comments when I see this car on the road.

This is because Toyota is a very conservative company that has actually stopped building sports cars. Right now I cannot think of one sports car which they still make as the production of the Celica and the MR2 (or MRS) has since ceased. In short, they’ve gone from conservative to downright boring in a period of only one year. Toyotas have basically captured the hearts and souls of sensible, dreary people i.e boring people with their exceptional build quality.

It got me thinking that people in the world buy cars because they have to travel from A to B and have exactly no choice in what they have to buy. In the ideal world, we’d all be driving Mercedes CLS’ or BMW M5s. But in the real world, we have to drive Proton Wajas, Toyota Vios’, Avanzas (note – a followup from the last article about Avanzas – if you highlight the VAN from aVANza, it spells like what it really is.) and Corollas, Honda Tadpoles and Naza Rias. All of these cars were basically bought using the words, budget and practicality. What people should add to their list of priorities is sex and/or violence when buying a car as this is the basic instinct in man. Clarkson once said that Sex and violence actually sums it all when you buy a Ferrari or any supercar. You get a nice sexy/beautiful body and the brutal and violent acceleration and handling all coupled into one car. So in the real world, how can such priorities make you choose a decent car then?

With the words; Budget and Practicality coupled to words Sex and Violence we should therefore choose the 3 best things out of 4 as realistically we can't have them all. This is the real world challenge then; for a reasonably priced and practical car, coupled with either sexy or brutal personae thrown in for good measure.

Most Protons are out of the picture as they have the either lacking in practicality or lacking in either sex or violence. The Waja is a shopping trolley, wheres the sex or violence in that? The Gen2 has a bad driving position and no rear headroom, so its not practical. The Satria Neo has a really ridiculously bad driving position so its totally not practical (unless you're a hobbit or a dwarf). The Perdana is ancient, Ursula Andress in Dr. No. was sexy, but she’s 760years old now. You wouldn't bed someone as old as Yoda would you? Same goes to the Wira and Saga.

Toyotas? At the reasonable price range we’re looking at the Vios and the Altis. Putting Mr. Pitt and Miss Spears in the adverts may have made the cars look chic for a while but buying either car won’t get you in bed with either one. They’re pretty good but pretty conservative.

Nissan? The Sentra. Nissan will not let you poke Stephanie Chai after you buy it.

Suzuki? The Swift. Yes, its sexy (from a MINI point of view), its on a budget and its pretty practical as a town car. It should be on your list of reasonably priced cars in Malaysia.

Honda? The City Tadpole on Stilts will make you look years nerdier than you actually are. The Civic 1.8 is as fantastic as a family sedan can get. Its practical, on a budget (if your budget is around RM115k that is) and looks fabulous. It can be pretty violent (in a family man sense) in the performance department as it has 140bhp to play around with.

Kia/Naza. Look at the Bestari 206, it has a good looking body, it is reasonably priced (sub RM80K) and is pretty practical for a town car. The other models are merely rubbish.

Ford. The 1.8 Focus at around RM115K has some qualities that we should look at. Practical, Reasonably Priced but it still looks conservative compared to the Honda Civic. That in itself sways away buyers by the dozen.

Actually the car that I bought should be on this list. The Subaru Impreza 1.6ts, but its not available in the brand new market anymore as the local importers can’t seem to sell Subarus fast enough to justify them importing more in quickly enough. This is sad news but its reality. Why do I say this? It isn’t cheap for a 1.6liter car, but its still less than RM120K, has 4 doors and a boot for practicality, and with the All Wheel Drive offers fantastic handling but seriously lacking in power (which I’ve countered with several mods I will one day divulge in here). It looks brutal (not sexy) with the rear wing, Side skirts, heavily blistered wheel arches and creases. No other sub RM120K car comes close to its handling, and brutal looks (hence the 'violence' portion to the equation). Yet it still keeps that practicality. Check out the pic for reference.

One other point on why you should try this car is that while it is slow, and is one of those cars that require momentum for you to drive it fast and actually rewards you even more than some cars that would smother your mistakes with its power. With this car, if you make no mistakes, it is absolutely rewarding to drive as you know its you making the car flow at ridiculously fast speeds through winding roads and high speed bends. This is also where the handling isn’t corrupted by the All Wheel Drive, it will dance around corners and its natural balance is not corrupted by too much power which sometimes cars suffer from when they do have tons of power. If you’re a driver, it is better than any front wheel drive around. Find me a brand new sub RM120K rear wheel drive car or a 4wd car at this price range?

Yes, yes it sounds like I’m justifying my purchase for this car. The faults in this car are that it isn’t as spacious as a Honda Civic (which is the current best sub RM120K new car by a mile right now) and that the gearbox is pretty crappy. But the advantages outweigh the faults by a mile. But note that you can’t buy this car brand new in Malaysia for now even if you had the cash ready in your pocket. Unless you can find one nearly new one being advertised in Motor Trader. That is till the official distributors decide to import this again. I’m lucky. Of course not as lucky as owning an Impreza WRX STi, but for a fraction of the price you get all of the handling, ride and practicality, minus the horsepower (which you and I know is so easy to procure a little bit more than usual in a very not very catalytic converter/not enviromentally bothered country like Malaysia). And that is what we should all aim for. Something to have fun with while paying for the car instalments in the first place. Leave the uncle cars to the uncles. Stop thinking conservatively. Live a little!

Of Timor Leste, about the Fiat 131 and A Comparison of Different Eras.

Now the newest country on Earth is Timor Leste. It was colonized by Portugal in the 16th century and upon the Portuguese leaving, it was then invaded by Indonesia in 1975, which occupied it until 1999. Following the United Nations sponsored act of self-determination in 1999, Indonesia relinquished control of the territory, which achieved full independence on 20th May 2002, becoming the first new country of the 21st century. There, one fact for all of you to digest while I cook up an opinion about something as it has been a slow week in the automobile scene as far as I am concerned.

Corny District Council Signboards and The New 1.5liter Toyota Avanza

It’s a Monday, and last weekend I had to take a trip up north to visit my Grandmother who wasn’t feeling too well. Upon exiting the North-South Highway at the Kamunting exit we hit the trunk road and headed onwards to Bagan Serai in Perak. Bagan Serai is a small town about half an hour’s drive from Taiping and is surprisingly bustling with activity. I suppose even small towns now are centres of activity due to the fact that there are more people around nowadays. It used to be a sort of sleepy hollow where people retire to and basically wait for their time to come. But things have changed, as even smaller towns like this are now hives of activity. I suppose if you wanted total silence at 8.00pm, you’d have to go to an even smaller place off the road generally travelled by people. The thing with Bagan Serai is that it’s located on the main road connecting Ipoh, Taiping and Penang. And if you are aware, lots of people nowadays try to use these main roads instead of paying money to use the tolled North-South Highway. Tolls cost a bomb these days, not to mention petrol.

Now on the point of money being spent, on the way to Bagan Serai, I happened to come across a sign board put up either by the local district council or by the district office of the Works Ministry stating this.

“Selamat Pulang Anak Rantau”

Upon translating this it would mean “Welcome Home Travelling Son” or as close as I could be bothered to translate.

Honestly, this signboard looks exactly like any traffic warning sign and isn’t a banner or a big billboard or anything of that sort. It surprised me that someone in the district council felt that it was pretty logical or that it was worth every penny of taxpayers’ money to put up a signboard like that. There were other signboards that made sense, like “Drive carefully so you end up safely at your destination and don’t die” but this one is actually wasteful. Of course local councils like spending their annual budget as if they don’t spend it all they may get a smaller budget next year. But do they have to be so wasteful?

On the subject of travelling back to one’s hometown for the festive season, Toyota have launched the Toyota Avanza 1.5 MPV. Now the people at Toyota have decided to listen to those sorry souls who bought the Avanza in the first place and put a larger engine in it. It was only available in Malaysia with a 1.3liter engine before. This is a good thing to those who intend to buy the Avanza in the first place for its versatility and good value but felt it was underpowered. These people will now rush to the nearest Toyota showroom and have a look at the new 1.5liter Avanza. However I am slightly worried.

With the old one, you see the Avanza drivers actually pull over when you flash your headlights to overtake as they know that their pathetic 1.3liter MPV does not have the power hog the fast lane of the North-South Highway. However, soon with the new and enhanced 1.5liter Avanza, we shall see hogging like we’ve seen before. Hogging usually being done by the popular Toyota Unser (now replaced by the better looking Innova) and the also popular Naza/Kia Ria/Carnival. So instead of being irritated by 2 kinds of MPV, we have to add another one to this list of hoggers.

Why do I say this? Its for the simple fact that the Daihatsu derived, newly developed 3SZ-VE engine, which makes 107hp (80kW) at 6,000rpm and 141Nm of torque at 4,400rpm adds around 21 Newton meters of torque and 15 horsepower over the 1.3 engine. This in turn will enable more people with their wife, 4 children, maid and luggage to try hog the North-South Highway at speeds of around 120km/h and think that they’re fast enough to stay there. What they’re actually doing is being a danger to other road users if they think their Avanza is designed to cruise the highways at those speeds. The problem with Malaysian MPV drivers and also 4X4 and SUV drivers is that they think they are still driving cars. They are not.

The Avanza MPV was designed by Toyota especially as a BUDGET vehicle for the Indonesian market. There it is produced as a 1.0liter and a 1.3liter and that alone is proof that the Avanza is made down to a price. It will offer ride comfort to a price and it will not be able to handle even like a Vios. It’s a fact that most Malaysian Avanza owners will not realise this as they think it’s like any other car. Now the specification of the Avanza’s suspension is that it has McPherson Struts in Front and something called the 4 link coil spring and lateral rod at the rear. Sounds pretty much like a beam axle type suspension made to sound sophisticated by the marketing people of Toyota. This axle setup will work, but it’s no performance setup and coupled with the tallish body of the Avanza does not do wonders towards body control. It’ll work wonders as a people carrier but exceed the limits, it’s pretty dangerous coupled to the tall and skinny looking body of the Avanza. This is something Malaysian Avanza owners do not realise when they drive the darn thing. It’s a dangerous act putting a bigger engine into the Avanza even though customers want it.

While I’m at it, I do believe UMW Toyota can do something about the way it looks. Can’t it look like a mini Estima or a Wish or something like that? The problem again is that the Avanza was designed with the Indonesian market in question and it looks like a cut sized Unser or Kijang. It’s high and long play suspension was meant for terrible Indonesian roads and for it to be able to wade through flood waters. As such, it looks dumpy; like it’s on a set of stilts. Of course the problem is that somehow Malaysians do not realise this and will keep on buying it. I suppose it being a Toyota and there is a ring of quality and good value of money to it. But it shouldn’t be the case. So if you happen to hear your friend or relative wanting to put his money on the Avanza, do tell him to buy the 1.3liter version, and save us all the pain and suffering of queuing behind an Avanza 1.5, thinking that he’s driving a safe, powerful vehicle that’s able to keep up with the cut and thrust of speeding up and down the North-South Highway. We’ll be so grateful for this gesture of kindness. And dammit Toyota, sometimes you shouldn't listen to your customers.

Festive Songs, Globalization and Benchmarking

As we move even closer towards the Hari Raya, we tend to hear all the traditional Hari Raya songs being played in every shopping mall around the city. It’s actually one of those times which drive me crazy. I mean how much of the same song can you take during any given festive season? For Christmas, we hear all Christmas songs, the Chinese New Year we hear the same New Year songs year in and year out. It’s like we as human beings have reached a plateau when it comes to Festive songs. No one seems to be able to make a new classic festive song. It’s either we’re at the pinnacle of festive song making or that we couldn’t be bothered to do so since the old ones are sufficient. What people would do is get P.Diddy to sing a Christmas song instead of Engelbert Humperdinkledoodle to sing it or Siti Nurhaliza to sing a Raya song instead of Fauziah Ahmad Daud or something like that.

It’s like Rolex. What they’ve done to the 70 year old Rolex Oyster watches is that every few years spruce it up a little by rounding off an edge or two. What I suppose the automotive design equivalent would be the Porsche 911. They’ve not decided to change anything but just rearrange the design of the car a little year after year. It’s somewhat like the new mini very recently launched by BMW-Mini. Mini claim that they’ve changed a million parts but looking at the photos from the press releases you can’t seem to find something really different from the old one. I suppose if it ain’t broke, why fix it. Look at the picture in this posting, what's new about the new Mini? I can't seem to tell at all.

I suppose that with those two automotive icons and the watch, humankind has decided that they have reached a pinnacle of design that cannot be altered in a drastic way. And with that statement I would have to agree that a Mini or a 911 would never look good (or bad depending on your point of view) if they tried making it look totally different from what it looks today.

It can be said that Globalisation will in turn assimilate us all into Borgs by making us conform to a global standard. Teenagers around the world want to be like American teenagers for apparently no reason at all other than being cool. The Television and the Internet play such a big role in shaping the world into what it is today. I seriously wonder whether the Sarong will be worn by anyone at home in about 20 years time. Even I myself would only wear the sarong for prayers occasionally and after that it’s folded away somewhere. We all feel more comfortable in shorts rather than a piece of cloth wrapped around the waist.

Notice that everyone in the car industry benchmarks, say for example, Mercedes Benz S-class, as the height of luxury car design and equipment. Almost all notable equipment such as Airbags, driving sensors and so forth was introduced by the S-class series over the years. After a few years, all car manufacturers follow suit by adding what was first equipped in the S-class. Soon all cars will be benchmarked by a certain standard or two. Every car will either look or feel German whether we like it or not. While its scary, it may happen as most manufacturer and management gurus throw the word ‘benchmark’ left, right and centre and everyone seems to agree to it. We’re soon going to see Germanic TVRs, Caterhams, Toyotas (look at Lexus), Ferraris (the Horror!) Protons (which actually is a good thing as they seem to think that the everlasting Proton Saga and Wira are pinnacles of Malaysian Engineering and should be kept forever!) and so forth. All because we have been made to believe on the miracles of Benchmarking the best in the Industry. As such, we may lose individual character of the cars we drive. And it's sad to even think about it.

Police decides to lower speed limit on federal and trunk roads for the Festive Season

Honestly, it's not going to make a difference. We'll all be going at 5 mph instead of the lower speed limit of say for example, 70km/h in a 90km/h zone. Why? All roads are going to be jam packed with people. The lorries and heavy vehicles will be banned from using the highways 2 days before Deepavali and 2 days after Hari Raya. They'll all be using the trunk roads then, and will in turn cause traffic there to move slower than a snail going downhill. The problem remains the same.

What actually needs to be done is spend more money widening the North South Highway to 4 lanes either way. Then while they're at it, build the Coastal Highway as quickly as they can. As we all know, the more the better. All these stop gap measures are just stop gap measures. They don't actually solve the actual problem of too little road for too many people. Money shouldn't be an issue, the welfare of the people who have to suffer every festive season should be priority.

The Light Rail Transit

Last Sunday I decided to take the family out for a ride on the Light Rail Transit (LRT) from Kelana Jaya to Suria KLCC for a bit of window shopping. The whole reason such a trip came about was due to the fact my 2 and a half year old daughter hadn’t been on a train before and it was the easiest example of a train to hop on with such short notice. Being a 2 year old, she enjoyed it. Being a 34 year old, it didn’t matter much at all whether I was in a train or not.

But, it got me thinking about trains overall. I was born in Taiping, Perak. A small town that is in the Malaysian history books for a lot of firsts. Taiping was the first capital of the state. It was also the place where the first railway tracks were laid, 1885, and it connected Taiping with Port Weld (now due to some beauracrats it’s now named Kuala Sepetang). It's main purpose was to send the tin mined around Taiping to the port and it was along this track where an elephant decided to try out how strong his skull was by ramming head on into a locomotive. It caused the first derailment in Malaya and also the first real death partly caused by trains (obviously the elephant died and had no insurance whatsoever).

Now trains in those days were big old steel steam engines and they smelt of water vapour, steam and soot. I suppose if you wore white, you might be covered in soot if the wind blew the smoke from the steam engine’s chimney and travel in them took slightly longer than watching your 2 year old girl reach 4. But one thing it had was character or a soul if you see things in Jeremy Clarkson’s view. I was lucky to have had the opportunity in the mid 1980s to ride a steam engine in Taiping for the Malaysian Railway’s 100^th Anniversary and it was an experience to remember.

The steam engine spews smoke, steam, soot and made chug-chug sounds while moving. It had more curves and crannies than most modern trains. A cylinder for the engine mated to a box for the engineer’s cabin. A coal car for carrying their coal which these trains burn as fuel. Now how romantic would travelling through the countryside by train be?

Coming back to the LRT. It is a characterless object that is used to transport people from one destination to another. There is nothing romantic about it at all, unless someone actually proposed to his or her partner inside an LRT, the scale of the LRT being romantic is negative 5 million.

But I like it. I like it for the fact that when I drive, I know that there are less people commuting on the road; therefore, there is less stress for me during my commute to and from the work place. I like it for the fact that it’s an engineering achievement made during the time of our former Prime Minister. He believed in its purpose for existing and if it weren’t for his commitment and vision, Kuala Lumpur will be in a constant jam throughout the day. Lots of critics at one time condemned this project as a failure, but look who’s laughing now? It’s the person who pushed the project through in the first place. Because it’s actually useful to the general public and monetary wise, it is actually breaking even these days. The only reasons one should hate taking the LRT is that there are pickpockets and some people do not use deodorant at all and smell worse than a rotting elephant.

This is one example of how a soulless, characterless machine assists men throughout their daily lives. But when it comes to cars, you should buy one with some character, and not because you want to get from A to B. Why should you buy something with character? You’re paying for it with your hard earned money for God’s sake. It’s not paid by someone else. That’s the biggest reason to do so.

The Ramadan has come, and I'm a Hibernating Bear

The Fasting Month, Ramadhan, is here and as a Muslim, I’m doing what most Muslims do during the fasting month. No, not eat in some secluded area afraid I’ll be spotted eating. But I’ve been fasting. Yes, not eating or drinking from sunrise to sunset. If you think that I’m going to connect something about motoring to Fasting with an introduction like this you are wrong. I don’t have the energy, due to a lack of normal food and water intake, the processing power in my grey matter has slowed down to a crawl. The logic of move less and to think less equals to no calories but the bare minimum to be burnt. So I get to survive another fasting day. I’m like a hibernating bear, or a zombie depending on your point of view.

Actually it’s not as bad as it sounds this fasting. You actually get to lose some of those pounds from the waist that seems to stick like super glue no matter what you do once you hit a certain age. Usually I get to lose about 2 to 3 kilograms of what ever it is you lose every fasting month. It’s like a reward for the ‘suffering’ you have to go through; aside from the reward that Hari Raya Aidilfitri happens at the end of it.

Now the main problem of motoring in the city during Ramadhan is the traffic in the evenings. Somehow everyone has decided to reach home or wherever they intend to go by 7.00pm. They all want to leave their offices, drive to the nearest Ramadhan food market or pasar Ramadhan as we call it (this is where lots of individuals temporarily open shop and sell all sorts of pastries, fried food and so forth throughout the month), proceed to buy almost every sort of tart or fried chicken they can see and then fight their way back to their homes and families.

I’ve got a secret to share. I’ve stopped frequenting these Ramadan food thingies. It is plain to see that most who open up shop don’t bloody know how to actually cook. Almost nothing there tastes good as they’re mostly cooking for mega profit. Those who buy from a bad stall rarely frequent it again but there’s so many people everyday that they’ll make millions during their month of selling chicken feed food. Every one of the stalls will make millions. Furthermore, if you’d ever notice the prices, they are even more expensive than some ‘mamak’ restaurants, especially if you buy those nasi tomato, nasi minyak etc. They slaughter you silly. The main problem is when most people fast, they tend to be hungry and then when they see a large selection of rubbish, I mean food, they wish to buy everything. Let me give you a tip for Ramadan food market shopping. Go there only once every fasting month and then don’t bother.

The second issue I have with these food markets is that Muslims suddenly become very unIslamic in their parking. Why I say that is because they double park, triple park and obstruct all traffic just because their stomach is growling. This isn’t the purpose for fasting. Nothing about tolerance and good behaviour is said at a pasar Ramadan as it’s every man and his stomach for themselves. I suppose since they are fasting, they can’t walk 10 steps without collapsing, and so they block the whole road for a bag of ridiculously bad food. If the food were good in the first place, those people that you blocked wouldn’t have mind. It’s pathetic.

I seriously suggest those driving home to just go home straight or go to the nearest restaurant rather than frequent places like these. And if you do get home straight from work, I believe that when I travel from Ampang to Petaling Jaya everyday I won’t have to suffer so much as there may be less traffic on the road. And it looks like I have connected this article to something about motoring after all.

The evergreen piece of petrified wood - The Proton Saga

There is no such thing as a waste in modifying any old car. For example, there are lots of older cars being done up to ridiculously high specs in Australia, and also the UK. Note the cars you see in most Aussie tuner magazines, we get ancient Mazda RX3s with an obscene amount of power coming out of their rebuilt and transplanted 13b rotaries, the old Mitsubishi Lancer 1800gsr turbos from the early 1980s and old school Datsuns. They’re still around and have loyal fans.

And about the Malaysian older modified car scene? Does my opening statement hold true? Lets take the evergreen piece of petrified wood; the Proton Saga ( pic above). It has been around in various guises since 1985 when it was first launched. Based on the Mitsubishi Lancer Fiore it was, in 1985 fairly modern and brought in higher taxes for CKD and CBU vehicles. It was the death blow to those who wanted to buy Ford Escorts and Fiats as their family car. Those who wanted cheap European cars would never be able to do so anymore from that day onwards till the present. It was a decent way for a developing country to start car manufacturing. But the only problem was they didn’t know how to stop producing this car. It’s still around! I can also put the blame equally on the management of Proton and the general public as the general public are the ones still buying this car. Proton is just complying with market forces. But for Heaven's sake, its 2006!

Proton Saga as a modified ride to feel proud of? The problem with the Proton Saga is that it isn’t collectable.There are too many of them running around in various guises and facelifts. It does not have any ‘WOW’ factor at all. It is as close as any other car can be to the Nissan Sunny as it is possible (especially the pre-Iswara models). Cheap and cheerless. It has basically been around since the days of Princess Hang Li Po and was also present when Malaysia gained its independence from the British. It needs to be shot and killed. It needs a proper hanging. It needs Darth Vader to use the Force and hurl it into the Sun. It needs a viking burial. Burn them all and send them drifting on a burning pyre somewhere in the South China Sea.

However, there are lots of upgrade parts for this car as it’s been around for awhile and replacement parts are dirt cheap, from various sources. So is the Saga a worthy candidate for wasting your hard earned cash? No. The reason for this resounding ‘No’ comes out from the fact that is it isn’t a nice car to drive around. While you can throw in a 220bhp engine in this car, it won’t/ can’t be made to handle at all. It is safe to say that 125bhp is a good figure for the chassis and not an ounce more. The biggest problem of the Saga is the rear suspension.

The Saga rear suspension comes with trailing arms connected to a very short anti-roll bar. There is no actual lateral (sideways) support for these arms, hence under hard cornering; there is a tendency for all Sagas to really get out of shape during a corner. The Trailing arms have a benefit as they have some ‘give’ by adding a little passive rear steer, but the drawback is that at higher speeds the ‘give’ crosses over to the ‘give way’ point and all hell breaks loose. While it is front wheel drive, the rear suspension is extremely important in keeping the whole car planted. Note that this is the reason most manufacturers ended up using more complicated suspensions to control all of this. In a Saga, it is so possible to have lift off oversteer, highspeed oversteer (try about 150km/h doing a long sweeping corner in a Saga and feel the rear trying to beat its front). You will actually never learn proper car control in the Saga and this is the biggest drawback of owning this car.

Other problems include lack of suspension travel, bad standard geometry and a lack of refinement. You can try minimising all of this by using good tires (14in seems to be the best in terms of braking, handling and comfort), proper Coilover suspension system (changing to ‘Cap Ayam’ springs alone would not do for a Saga) and lots of chassis bracings and P.U. bushes to get the suspension to work properly. However, the downside to all of this is the ride....or lack of it. In short, you still get so little for so much money spent. If you have a Saga, and intend to start modding it seriously, don’t. Spend the money on a new paintjob, a set of rims and a set of coilovers. Not a Ringgit more.

All in all, it is a scary car to drive at its limits. I even remember being sideways in a track prepared Saga driven by a friend at the old Batu Tiga Track on the back straight, it suddenly decided to lose its tail at around 160km/h for nearly no apparent reason at all.

When I get around to it, I’ll write about older cars (circa late 1980, early1990) for those who want to try modding on a budget. These cars are altogether more sensible than doing up a Saga.

The Proton WajaLUTION and WiraLUTIONs. Give their owners a big hand.....in their you know where!

Now lets be honest. 99% of Proton owners in Malaysia within the age group of 18 to 45 wish that their Protons were Mitsubishis. Those that bought the Wira realised that these were copies of the Lancer and promptly went to converting the exterior to Lancers with the exception of the rear end which they couldn’t as the cost and legal wrangles that would arise from this isn’t worth it. Those that bought the Waja were even more confused. There really isn’t a twin of this car in the Mitsubishi lineup. What these people were doing is basically their own thing.

The Waja is based on the chassis of the mid1990s Mitsubishi Charisma with a lengthened wheelbase to 2600mm making it on par with the ’00 onwards Lancer Cedia chassis. But we Malaysians, thinking that there is a similarity to the Lancer Evo VII series decided to graft on EVO VII bumpers and rear wing, fibreglassing over the boot area and mounting the plate number elsewhere, putting Mitsubishi emblems here and there, thinking that their Waja is a Lancer Evolution. They are seriously wrong.

It bothers me (only very slightly) when I think of how silly they are. How can they drive around in their Wajas thinking they have an Evolution VII? Where do these people live? How come none of my relatives or friends drive funny Wajas like this? Are they from another dimension suddenly popping up on Malaysian roads to give people like me a good laugh? I suppose they could be living in some cave somewhere and no one actually knows them. They may not have any friends in the first place. Maybe that’s why my friends and I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting a Wajalution owner in person. Maybe I have friends who in fact knows a few of these people but are embarrassed to admit knwing people like them. In fact, recently a friend forwarded me some pictures of a Waja complete with Evo arches and fenders, lights front and rear and it completely amazed me that someone was willing to commit his bank account into an act of atrocity like that. If I met the owner, I’d ask him “why?” and then proceed to lecture him about taste and good sense. Wajas are Wajas, they do not make Lancer Evolutions even if you went to the nearest bodykit specialist and paid him a bomb. If I was a Waja owner, I’d covert my Waja to a BTCC lookalike Waja. That has better pedigree.

Now, at the time of writing, I happened to open up my email to find; a Waja using a Version 9 Impreza nose. It looks like soon no brand will be spared from the ever-innovative Malaysian Waja owners. We may see a B.M.Waja M3 soon at this rate. Or would a Waja Levin Trueno tickle your fancy? I suppose it wouldn’t be hard to graft on some pop up lights, seal the rear doors and bolt on a rear hatch to achieve your Drift King dreams.

On another note, there is another trend to hit owners of Proton Wiras. I am supportive if they just change the whole front end to look like a Lancer Evo I-III. But we now have this stupid trend of using big balloon tires, rally mudflaps and raised ride heights on their strictly ROAD DRIVEN WIRA. What are you guys trying to do eh? You’re trying to make a rally replica? Note that balloon tires, increased suspension height and mudflaps are common in gravel/dirt specification rally cars. Haven’t you heard of tarmac specification? You should have big 17-18in rims with a lowered ride suspension. Why do you want to drive around on stilts? The Wira on its stock ride height is already rolling around and will have lift off oversteer at high speeds on the 1.5l and below ( due to a lack of a rear anti roll bar) and you guys want to raise it up higher than usual. What is wrong with you people? You want off road clearance you buy a 4x4 jeep thingy. If you want a rally look to your car, understand that there is such a thing as tarmac spec. In short, I hope this stupid trend goes away soon.

Now if any of you readers want a solution or two to the above mentioned problems aside from taking out a mallet and trashing these cars, you would know that it actually is very simple. Educate thyself before coming out with funny trends that make your car silly. Why don’t you make the car corner better, be more refined, and be faster rather than waste time making your Proton into something its not? (Especially to those with Wajas as, I REPEAT – THERE IS NOTHING SIMILAR BETWEEN YOUR CAR AND A MITSUBISHI LANCER EVO VII-IX AT ALL) It’ll be a more rewarding thing to do to your Proton.

The Subaru Impreza TS, Weekend bliss, Car Clubs and MPV nonsense

Last Sunday I had the opportunity to stretch the legs of my Impreza TS as I had a ‘kenduri’ to attend in Muar. The car performed well, on the highway I managed to push its puny 1.6liter engine to 205km/h, which translate to a mean maximum of 200km/h as it always is around 5km/h slower than the speedometer reading when I look at the speedtrap notice board when you hit the first and second bends on the Kerinci Link from the Federal Highway. Quite amazing when you have a heavy, power sapping All Wheel Drive train and passengers. It felt solid as a rock at high speeds and only the engine turns pretty high at 5500rpm partly due to the gearing. That’s why big cc’s are very important and 1.6liters are limited to cruising at slower speeds (Unless you happen to have a couple of thousand Ringgit to do it up). Aside from that, it was pretty good and was even better after the Tangkak Toll, where the highway exits to a trunk road. This is where the Impreza shines. It’s not about the grip, but also the handling. The Impreza TS is one of those cars that let the average family man enjoy things abit. Note that there are not many of these kinds of vehicles in Malaysia. But let’s go back to Sundays.

The Joys of Not Hiking Up Mount Kinabalu

It has been a slow start to this current week in a life of a petrolhead. The need to just stay at home comes to mind with lots of bread and hot tea to wash it all down in between long stretches of GT4 on the PS2 and an overdose of Top Gear reruns in stead of being at the office and doing lots of paperwork and endless office banter. Actually, I happen to be at an office where I can actually have bread and hot tea, but no PS2. So I am now deciding on whether to write about the joys of hiking aimlessly up Mount Kinabalu or driving a car through the windy roads around Genting Highlands.

But honestly, I don’t think I can write about anything pertaining to Mount Kinabalu due to the fact that I haven’t been there, much less climb it. The highest peak that I have manually climbed was the Maxwell Hill in Perak. This hilltop resort is Malaysia’s oldest and smallest hill resort. It is 1,035m above sea level and accessible only by government-owned four-wheel-drive vehicles, the road up twists and turns through tropical virgin jungle with the fresh green fragrance and cool air greeting you as you ascend. Now amazingly, I have hiked up this hill and all that I can remember is that it was not that tiring, as I was only 15 years of age. However, I’m now 34, overweight and had discovered the joys of motoring at 18. So, if anyone asked me to climb that hill again I’d take the Land Rover. If you haven’t experienced extremely tight turns and ridiculous inclines while being driven up, you’ve got to experience this. The drivers are bloody marvellous at negotiating the bends at speeds that’ll scare most average drivers.

I might enjoy walking through a forest trail in Cameron Highlands as much as I’d enjoy driving up to the Highlands in the first place; but if anyone asks me to hike up Mount Kinabalu right now I’d pass. They say that it’s a challenge, but I’d ask what are my benefits? Pain and suffering. A certificate showing me that I’ve done so? Since the certificate won’t get me a career raise, its worthless and you must remember, you’re not the first person on that peak, so what’s the point? Because its there? KLCC has stairs and I am not using it to get to the 88^th floor. It has lifts to get us there quickly. Because your friend can do it and you can’t? I can’t be bothered. Maybe I’ll walk the first 1km and then decide to hire a helicopter to take me to the peak. I’ll have tea and cupcakes up there before you even make it to the middle. Hiking on an incline for more than a day does not do wonders to happy fat men. Which brings me back to Maxwell Hill. It’s a much better climb because you can use Land Rovers to do so. Of course, Then again, you’d have fun going up Genting, Cameron Highlands, Fraser’s, etc in your finely tuned automobile. If you get my drift. This is what technology is there for. For God’s sake, if you want exercise, that’s what the neighbourhood gym, is there for my good man.

Certain Events in the World of Motoring

The Malaysian Transport Minister is a spoilsport.

There. I've Said it. That's all that has to be said about his decision to bring up to the cabinet the Royal Malaysian Police's decision to give a discount on traffic summonses sometime last week and get them to decide otherwise.

Schumacher Quits Formula 1

Sigh. It's bound to happen. Reason was that he partly didn't want to have equal standing with Kimmi Raikonnen. Whatever. We shall all miss his performances, antics etc. When I say "we" means all of us. If you don't fancy Schumi, you're still gonna miss his performances.

I.T.I.S.

Integrated Traffic Information System -ITIS or whatever its called always goes on a holiday every Monday morning in Kuala Lumpur. I wonder how much we as taxpayers pay for a system that's hardly useful when we need it to be. Not to mention it tells me something I already know. The signboards aren't a real help, as they are usually situated where the jam is, and not before the jam. The problem with Kuala Lumpur traffic is, you may as well have that signboard at your office car park as most roads are jammed packed at rush hour. This means that its usefullness is limited. We need a better system, or better roads. We actually need the Transport Minister to push through projects pertaining to public transport faster instead of him complaining about the Police giving discounts.

The real reason Datuk K managed to bag Siti Nurhaliza

He drives a Mercedes Benz CLS. Enuff said.

Which brings me to my list of 5 cool cars to own in Malaysia under a few years of age aside from owning any Ferrari or Bentley that is.

5. Gemballa Porsche Turbo 996. –

Just happened to see one while walking pass Damansara Uptown. Normal 911 Turbos are like soft toys compared to this one when it comes to looks. Massive double winged whale tail spoiler, massive rims, massive front splitter, massive turbo arches, leather everything, recaro seats, and a name that your auntie in the kampung would think “why would someone name a car after a cow or goat herder in Bahasa Malaysia?”

4. Subaru Impreza (any version)–

Not because I own one, but because everyday I drive from Petaling Jaya to Ampang and I seldom see another one. It is cool to have a car that not many people have and it’s Japanese and therefore pretty reliable. Not to mention that its a car designed by a 7year old, it has scoops, arches, spoilers everywhere! Which is good.

But, that said, do not go and buy a Skoda Fabia (European of not, you DON’T want to tell people you own a car that Starts with an ‘S’ and has a ‘K’ following it – try saying SKUBARU, or SKUZUKI), a Made in China Alado A160 or a Chery QQ because it’s rare. Those Made in China cars aren’t different, they’re just silly putty. Driving or owning them would mean that you have the taste of tap water.

3. Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution 9 –

Same reason as above, but much much faster due to electronics. But if you do want a Lancer 1.6 instead, make sure you buy one with a bodykit as standard. If you get the stock one, remind yourself that you are only allowed to live once, then you die and you need to tell yourself that you deserve one better than a stock Lancer 1.6. The difference between buying a 1.6 Lancer and a Lancer EVO is a whole lot. That is why it isn’t cool buying a stock Lancer compared to a 1.6 Impreza which is basically the same car minus rims and a bonnet scoop. On the Lancer, you need new body panels and painting and cutting etc. You’d do that to your brand new car with 7 years left on the loan wouldn’t you?

2. Mercedes Benz CLS –

Any version will do as all versions look swoopy and out of this world. You may be able to bag something better than Siti Nurhaliza if you’re younger than Datuk K. If you’re 35 and below, you may get to bag a Hannah Tan Look-a-like (or if you’re plain lucky, Hannah Tan), which is better than any Siti Nurhaliza by a mile.

1. Maserati Quattroporte –

Its simply beautiful to look at. Recently saw the Sultan Of Kelantan’s entourage driving by along Bukit Bintang. His official car was a Quattroporte. It was beautiful, elegant yet if you push the right buttons, goes all brutal. Somehow Italians make the word ‘4-doors’ so glamorous. I think it has something to do with the language having rhythm when you speak it in an italian accent. Q-U-A-T-T-R-O-P-O-R-T-E. Try saying E-M-P-A-T-P-I-N-T-U using an italian accent, you will see my point, although it does not sound as nice as quattroporte. Empat pintu to those who aren’t versed in Malay is Four Doors. However, if you say Four Doors in English, even in an Italian accent, it sounds like what it sounds. FOURDOORS.

Now this list isn’t comprehensive and if I’ve left out any other cool cars, too bad, and this blog isn’t a democracy, furthermore I may decide otherwise tomorrow.

RM10,000.00 FOR A '95 REG SATRIA...CAR PRICES ARE DROPPING FAST!

It is possible to buy a decent car for RM10,000.00 these days. Two days ago a close friend of mine, who also happens to be my mechanic, mentioned to me that he was purchasing a car from a mutual acquaintance for RM10,000.00. It was a 1995 reg Proton Satria 1.6xli automatic with a sound body and chassis. Now, going by normal Malaysian standards, a satria is a decent ride. You get Power steering, power windows, 16-valve fuel injected engine, a 4 speed slushbox, multi link suspension and something that is more comfortable than a Honda EX-5 motorcycle.

This is a relevation for Malaysians. Cheap motoring for everyone. Mat-rempits will be throwing away their kapcais for cars like these. Just imagine Proton Sagas going for RM5,000.00, which actually they are! However, it again shows you that the local automotive industry is bleeding like crazy. But we’ll see realistic second hand prices from now on. We may soon see RM2,500.00 Sagas on the second hand market.

Also feel that it is a good thing to buy if you are interested in modifying cars cheaply. You spend 10k on a car, and you have another 5k to mod it.

Full Coilover shocks and springs – RM2,500.00
Exhaust system and a performance air filter – RM1,000.00
Port and Polishing/some skimming to the head –RM1,000.00
Strut bars front and rear –RM350.00
Good engine oil –RM125.00
And you have change for a meal. RM25.00.

Let me see, if you buy a Saga, you’d can have all this for RM10,000.00 for the car and parts. But a Saga actually sucks to drive. You will never learn proper car control because it never actually does what its supposed to do in corners. It’ll understeer or oversteer anytime it feels like it and drives like a dog that has an itch on its butt. So buy a car with a more sophisticated suspension, like the Proton Satria/Wira series. That extra 5K makes a whole world of difference. But, if you are a person who just needs a car to take him to the dentist and back, buy the Saga.

You would think this package would be better to promote to Mat Rempits that it is better than riding a kapcai. But why are they still riding kapcais? Or would we want the Mat Rempits to start trying to wheelie proton satrias and sagas? Maybe we should just let them die and keep all this to ourselves. I think that would be a better option. After all, a dead Rempit is a good Rempit.

Merdeka Eve....Stay Home...Merdeka Morning's much more like it!

As most of you who’ve read my blog will notice, there are no pictures in here. Unlike some other blogs that have pictures, diagrams and so on, mine is the basic, no frills blog space as I am actually too darn lazy and cheap to pay for a domain name or take pictures. I mean, if I write about a Mazda 6, you can find a photograph of it on the Mazda website or from some automotive related website somewhere on the web. I’m just here to tell you my point of view.

Right, on another note, tonight is Merdeka Eve and the roads of Kuala Lumpur will be jam packed with motorists of various sorts. We’re going to also see the emergency room in the Kuala Lumpur Hospital be jam packed with Mat Rempit related accident cases and also the usual alcohol related stuffs also. So, if you intend to celebrate the Malaysian Indepence Day, try going out to the neighbourhood mamak stall, pub, restaurant or a bistro in the suburbs. You may survive the outing and live another day. Furthermore, what’s the fun in driving your car through jam packed KL? You’ve suffered with jams the whole week and you actually want to face more jams at night?

So have you noticed that if you’ve actually gone out Merdeka year after year, and you’re around 30-40 years of age, you’d have noticed that you’ll never achieve the fun you had celebrating Merdeka when you were around 18-24years of age. This is the period when you and your friends just got your licence and were still in some college or university. You’d notice that as you get older, none of your friends got drunk so often, crashed their cars into the nearest monsoon drain or managed to bonk a girlfriend of two on Merdeka Eve. You’d also notice that you’ll be sitting in the pub chair or mamak chair reminiscing about old times and trying to act all cool and all with your as old as you are mates. Notice that the situation I’m describing is actually pretty boring. Like you’re about to get ready to retire or something like that.

Essentially, that’s just not the case; you must remember that at this age, you’re already either married, divorced, or single but, you have more money in your pocket than you have ever had compared to when you were 20, driving your mum’s hand-me down Honda Civic and trying to act cool. Actually that’s describing me, but you get the point. At 30 something, what is a Merdeka Eve holiday when you can afford to just spend obscene amounts of money (if you converted your Ringgit to Rupiah its an obscene figure) and go for a nice long drive, with or without your family in tow to some windy road on Merdeka Day itself. If you’re a car nut like me, that’s what I’d be doing. I’d go to bed at the usual time you’d sleep everyday, forget about watching fireworks, wake up, take the car I’d enjoy the most, go for a morning drive tomorrow and feel, “Boy, I am a lucky bastard!” Isn’t that just great? Isn’t that sort of freedom a more fulfilling vision of Independence than being stuck in a jam on Merdeka Eve? You tell me.

THIS MONTH A SKODA FOR ALL....NEXT MONTH WE DO MAHINDRAS COZ WE'RE JOURNALISTS!

Ever notice how the same car makes its rounds through all the Malaysian Car magazines? Buy one magazine this month and also see the same car being tested by three other car magazines. The next month, see the same car being tested by another three local magazines. You’re better off just choosing one local magazine every two months or so. Look, its not like they’re testing the Ferrari 599gtb or anything like that. This month, they’re testing the Skoda Fabia. It’s a SKODA for Godsakes. There are a million things more interesting than a Skoda. It also shows you how sad and pathetic the local car industry is. Where every test drive is done with relish. I think one day there should be journalists who would say to certain car importers or manufacturers “No thanks, your car looks like a turnip. I’d pass.”

“But you get to stay in a hotel in Cherating? With lots of food and a belly dancer thrown in!”

“No, I’m not interested. Your car looks like a bag of potatos.”

“Oh okay. I’ll not invite your magazine ever to any of our new car launches!”

“That’s okay, I don’t like belly dancers anyway.”

See? Won’t Malaysia be a better place if some people just say No? This goes to same to all occasions. Politics, Social Functions and even University Inductions. Everyone should just say “NO” if they don’t like something. I mean, just because everyone’s doing it, you shouldn’t be doing it also.

So, if you suddenly decide to stop by a Skoda dealer thinking its a decent car like all the reviewers state in this next few months, DON’T LISTEN TO THEM. They are happy because they got free booze from somewhere, belly dancers, and a free car to trash. Of course they’d need to write nice things about it or even if the car is rubbish, they’d be politically correct as they WANT to get invited to the next free drinking session at a resort somewhere. If they tell you what I’m writing is not true, as they're committed journalists and are not in it for the money or perks then they should stop reviewing Skodas, Mahindras, Funny Chinese cars, trucks and busses. Would you review a car branded as Cherry? It's as bad as branding your car Strawberry or Raspberry or calling the car Nangka or Cempedak. You'd drive a Cempedak Type R wouldn't you? For a trip to Sheraton Langkawi, free booze and food, you'd try the Rambutan Electra Glide R-Type Continental, wouldn't you?