Odd ramblings on the Alfa Romeo Mito, the Mazda 2 sedan and my own Subaru Impreza 1.6TS

I recently had the opportunity to go try the Alfa Romeo Mito and the Mazda 2 sedan recently. The reason I wanted to try the Mito was that I was itching to get my hands on a new Alfa as I basically love Alfas. I tried the Mazda 2 sedan because the wife and I have decided to go look for a second car again as the need for one has arisen. No, the Alfa is manual and waaayyyy beyond what we intend to spend on a car.


Firstly, I loved the Alfa’s look and if it were down to looks I would buy it without a thought over the BMW Mini. However, as I wrote earlier, it handles like a high mileage shopping trolley from TESCO. The chassis is unresolved, steering vague and uncertain at different speeds and a chassis that does not work with the driver as well as I would have liked. So, I was disappointed. Another RM155K sporting car that I cannot buy. The reason I said that was that this figure is around the amount that I am willing to spend on any car if I wanted to upgrade from my trusty battle scarred Millennium Falcon like Impreza 1.6TS. It basically is a basic family sedan with some custom mods that, like the Falcon could do the Kessel run under 12 parsecs. If you are a Star Wars fan you’d know what I’m babbling about here. Actually its not that fast. It just handles simply sublime. Anyway I am just babbling here.

Secondly the Mazda 2 Sedan or Hatchback will sell for RM80-85K depending on spec. I tried the Mazda 2 sedan 1.5 auto with the R-Spec rims, 195/45/16 over 185/55/15 and a different front shock settings. It is a decent car to own with very high front end grip. In fact, the little family sedan here has a chassis that is slightly more resolved than the Alfa above although it is a much slower car. But the thing is, it somehow does not have the refinement of the little Suzuki, or even a Nissan Latio at that. Another beautiful looking car, especially the hatchback but it is lacking in some important areas like engine noise and wind noise at higher than normal speeds. Not something good for a family that happens to go on a lot of drive-to holidays like us. Of course we still have the Impreza, but what if we wanted to for the fun of it take the other car?

No, this isn’t about me getting old and that I cannot stand the lack of refinement anymore. Its just that if I went and drove a Nissan Latio to Penang and back I would come out of the Latio feeling better than if I did it with the Mazda. If I drove the Swift to Penang, I’d feel better also and be smiling as there is driving pleasure found here too.So there you have it. The two good looking cars I tried recently have faults.

Expect a longer review on the Mazda 2 sedan sometime soon either in here or over at myautoblog.org.

Personalize your Cygnet in any bizarre way you want says Aston Martin.

I find this new 'Aston' intriguing. Which is why I wrote about it on myautoblog.org. Something I've written about brand marketing of this sort is in the pipeline. I will post about it in here soon. Hope you enjoy this short write-up and my opinion on what I think actually arose based on a business decision to reduce average CO2 emissions of a certain brand.

Oooooo, look here, my review on the Alfa Romeo MITO is on myautoblog.org

 Ah. Looks like my review on the Alfa MITO is out on myautoblog.org. This is a car that looks fantastic for a supermini but drives like a shopping trolley. A disappointing drive, but a beautiful car.

The argument against electric cars of the near future

Yes. Another one that I wrote on myautoblog.org. This time about all-electric cars of the near future. I am not buying one anytime soon if you get my drift.

Toyota needs to rediscover their fundamentals and stop building Unclemobiles

Hello chaps! Another interesting posting for you to read on myautoblog.org by yours truly. This time about Toyota and how it has lost its plot in trying to be no.1. Actually its nothing new. But this is my take on the matter. Enjoy!

How to choose a car like you're James Bond......

“Mr Bond, I've been expecting you.” I think this must be one of the most remembered line from the movies. The other would be “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.” But that is another matter as right now I just want to share with you how you should choose cars according to rules laid down by the everyone's favourite super spy, James Bond.

The cars have to have a certain criteria. Firstly, if you go by the fact that he's working in an agency (MI6) the car would be a company vehicle. But as we all know the agency he works for does espionage as its core business, the vehicles are a means to an end; i.e. a form of transport for travel, to tail a suspect, to escape from enemies and to seduce women (if the opportunity comes). So, while an Aston Martin is what is usually issued by Q branch when good ol' James goes on assignment it isn't always the car he uses. In some cases where he has to fly somewhere on short notice or where there isn't an MI6 office to procure an agency car from he has to make do with rentals. Notice that in Casino Royale he drives a Ford Mondeo and in Quantum of Solace he makes do with a Volvo S40 and some 4x4s too in a few Roger Moore movies. So the rules for cars used by James Bond would be as follows:

A recap on the soon to be outgoing BMW E60 5 Series

Hello readers. I had recently tested a friend's 530i recently and have posted the article on myautoblog.org. Have a read. In the mentime, here is a summary of the car which I didn't post on that site.

Good:
The Driving part especially with traction control disabled. Very balanced when you do so. Very grippy chassis. The only thing is that those who have graduated from Front Wheel Drive may get into an accident. In fact recently a family was killed on the orth-South Highway in a 5series. Rear Wheel Drive requires a different set of rules when driving at the limit. Namely, do not fully lift off the throttle in mid corner or else....

Bad:

• Rubbish Run flat tires that are hard but made no contribution to handling. So much better on normal tires.
• The I(diotic) Drive is what it is. Really user unfriendly.
• Interior isn't as good as a Mercedes or an Audi. But I wouldn't care if I'm driving it.

Now we get a photo of the rear underside of the 5series (together with the head of a tireshop assistant who looks like Elvis in the 1970s - albeit a Chinese version). This photo is something for you readers here. I have to state that the whole floorpan of the 5 series is quite flat and I think this contributes to the high speed stability of the car. Look to the right of the pic and you can see claddings beside the middle muffler. This is not in the article. Something special for you readers here.

Enjoy the article!

Those Porsche fans out there. Look what I've posted on Myautoblog

To those who think that Porsche are doing a great job in designing or those who think that Porsche have the laziest buncha designers in the world can go to my posting at Myautoblog.org on Porsche's designs.

See what you think about it. Feel free to give your comments (and brickbats) there. As in here in motoring-malaysia.blogspot.com its my domain. Here I am King. I can say whatever I want. And its not a democracy in here. But hey, if you've read some of my posts there I still write what I feel like writing.

Oh yeah. Happy Chinese New Year to all!

20 Years of Motoring. In those days there were no MPVs in Malaysia.

I just realised one thing. I got my driving licence at the age of 18 and I have been driving for 20 years. This basically shows that I am almost an old fart. Motoring throughout the years have been fun. And surprisingly, it is after nearly 2 decades of driving and motoring that I started blogging about most of the experiences. Well, those days the internet was a real 28.8kbps slow moving piece of information technology compared to the Gigabytes that we get these days from broadband. Nowadays everyone can access information and buy stuff off the internet. Something we didn't have those days.

In those days there wasn't much info on-line about modifying your car or about anything much actually. Computers were basically the same size but speeds were tortoise levels. I remember starting off on the internet in 1990 on Bulletin Boards. These was the forums of that era and information was limited to those with slightly more than basic PC knowledge. The PC I had was a 486SX-33mhz and 4mb RAM. Now, I'm on a notebook with about 2.6Ghz with 1Gb of RAM. I think. Streaming video was a thing that was never thought about. Streaming audio was already fabulous at the time. And back to cars, everything we had to find out about our next purchase or next mod were from magazines. It was a month to month thing waiting for the next issue of Performance Car or Fast Car to come out. Usually shipped a month late from the UK to Malaysia. Boy, we were backwards then.

Cars in 1990 were still light and nippy, and expensive aside from Proton. A 1.5 Saga Automatic cost around RM33,000.00 and the Honda Civic EF was the car to own, at around RM10,000-15,000 higher. I was driving around in a 1981 Honda Civic and, having any car was good enough. A car meant freedom, and I cherished it. When I didn't have the car around me, due to various reasons (it was actually my mum's car which I took over) like dad needed to use it as his car was in the workshop, things was slightly dull and depressing. You could impress the gals with any car those days.

These days, things are faster and so much more refined. People are so much more demanding and a 20 year old banger wouldnt get you through 1st base most of the time. Unless you pour alot of money into the ride of course as even a basic entry level car can handle decently and post a faster laps that 200bhp cars from 20 years ago. Technology has made things so much better. Maybe the only thing missing is soul. Everything is digital and there's not much place for analog. Even in cars. For example, cars have electric motors ruining steering feel for the 1% fuel economy. Cars have electronic everything that someone limits the car and driver interface. Everything goes through a single button to scroll aircondition, radio, cd, mp3, lights and so forth. Those days 1 switch operated 1 item. Not anymore.

But one good thing last time was that no one even heard of the concept of using MPVs. People could survive with just a 4 door sedan and travel places with it. I think we are spoilt for choice nowadays. And its making us make all the wrong choice. Those were the days. And aside from no MPVs on Malaysian roads, I think things are better nowadays.

The most pathetic mini MPV in the world

Note the marketing blurb below and check out the picture of the CM8.

"Two Chana Era models – CV6 and CM8 – made their debut in the Malaysian market yesterday. The vehicles, distributed by Changan Berjaya Auto Sdn Bhd, have a combination of Italian designs, Japanese technology and German engineering and come with an affordable price tag."

It doesn't look so bad from the side view doesn't it?But what I can tell you is that this is what the marketing team wants you to think. Italian design; think Ferrari, Maserati, Alfa Romeo. German Engineering; think Porsche, Mercedes, Audi. Japanese Technology, Honda, Toyota. Wow! This must be one fantastic mini MPV. So much so you wonder why you haven't seen anyone driving one of these 'fabulous' minivans around KL since its official launch sometime in January 2009. The reason is the shape of the really ugly awkward overall shape of the vehicle. It's purely horrible.

Even this picture of it is flattering. The next one is from Motor Trader. The photo wasn't touched up in anyway by yours truly. It really is a tall skinny, unbalanced, unproportionate looking vehicle. Now which Italian design house drew this? Giugiaro? Bertone? Pinninfarina? It must be the  drunk janitor at the design house who scribbled a drawing of a car and somehow convinced the Chinese that he was a car designer. Or that the Italians were conning the Chinese out of their Yuan so that they can have a nice bonus for almost no work done.

I'd rather get the flu than test drive one of these.

Now the amazing thing that I remember as clear as it was yesterday (which it wasn't) was that I was at a shopping mall and this horrid looking vehicle was being promoted.

"Abang, this car is okay Bang...macam mini Alphard"

I was by now trying extremely hard not to burst out laughing. I pity the sales rep. I hope he's now selling Peroduas as no person in his right mind would buy a Chana.

A Nissan GTR if you had RM500,000.00?

I recently met two old friends at a house of one of them. This house belonged to the chap who owned the Nissan 350z and the Mercedes W115 I tested recently. The other chap who came works as a journalist and now writes for a Naza in-house magazine for their Mercedes Autohaus customers. If you are aware, Naza has a Mercedes dealership in Klang which is doing quite well. I suppose selling genuine new Mercedes to Klang’s millionaires is a very profitable thing to do if you can afford to have a magazine published for your customers. The sad thing is, he’s not allowed to simply test drive any of the grey import cars that Naza brings in. Tough luck.

Aside from that, it was a very automotive related few hours where we basically talked about cars. Topics like how incredible the LED lights of the newly facelifted Audi A6 looked at dusk to what car would any of us buy if we had RM500,000.00 to blow. The journalist chose a Nissan GTR. The chap who already owned a Nissan wants to buy a Porsche Cayman. I wanted what I always wanted. A grey import SL55 (only for the sound the V8 makes), which I believe could be bought at this price now. If it still can’t be bought at this price, I’d settle for a 1^st generation CLK55 or a stock 996 Porsche 911, which I surely know could be procured at that price.

The Ferrari 355 vs GTR - I want the slower, red car.

The argument on why I chose those cars over the GTR even though we’ve all heard fabulous things about it is simple. I was born slightly before the Playstation age in that my wall poster heroes were the Lamborghinis, Ferraris and Porsche.  The Playstation generation would go for the GTR, but my dream cars were never Nissans. So there, a GTR would be bought after my Ferrari, my Porsche, my Alfa, my other Ferrari, my other Porsche etc.etc. . In other words, I may drive it one of these days, but I’d never own it.

New posts on myautoblog.org

I've made some posts on myautoblog.org under the pseudonym Rigval. If you readers have the time, stop by over there for some laughs.

(edited as I'm now posting under my name!)

Crap.

The Toyota Avanza. Where do I begin. Maybe I shouldn't as its totally rubbish. Only people who do not like cars buy this supposedly mini MPV. It looks like it was styled by a 1 ton truck designer and it shows. It is not very nice to look at due to the design specs for interior space and for the lower end of the market. But the main point is, supposed motoring enthusiasts should not buy this Van. If you enjoy the thrill of driving, what in the world made you buy an ugly looking van in the first place?

The worst reason that you'd give is that "I bought it 'cause its a Toyota". I'd rather take the bus.

The most irritating fact about Avanza owners is that they must have bought the van without really test driving it or realizing that it is crap. Its a Toyota means that its something good."Good" isn't the correct word here. It is rubbish, but it is a form of transport. That is the only reason to buy anr Avanza.

Another strange fact about Avanza owners is that I always read in a Sunday motoring pullout of a local daily that posts SMS questions for the editor or the tech advisor for the paper to answer. Questions like the following are usually posted for people to laugh at the bad decision the Avanza buyers make.

1. My Avanza is uncomfortable to drive. It rides too hard. Is there any way to soften its ride?

Let me answer this question for them. You bought the wrong car you fool. Can't you tell that it is a van in the first place? It was designed with a budget in mind and for people with limited budgets. What do you expect? Multi-link suspensions in the rear? Air suspension? Self Leveling? The ride of a Lexus? For Godssake its a car designed for the Indonesian mass market. That should tell you how competent the ride is. Stop posting SMSs like these on that newspaper okay? It's as pointless as flapping your hands and trying to fly.
..
2. I want to improve the performance of the Avanza. What can I do to make it better? Its a mini MPV. Do not bother, you should be following the same speed limits are busses on PLUS highways. If you wanted to act least think like you're driving a Subaru Impreza then you should do like what some Proton Saga owners, add Subaru Wrx Sti scoops to their ride. Maybe you should sell your supposedly 'better status than a Proton' Toyota for a Proton. At least they now make a proper proportionate looking MPV for the same price.

3. I want to put a DVD player in my Avanza. Will it affect the power of my Avanza?

This was the stupidest question I've ever read about Avanzas anywhere. I suppose anyone adding a small DVD player stereo head unit would make any vehicle lose 200bhp. If that were so, no one would be selling or buying aftermarket sound systems for their automobiles. Where did people like these crawl out from? I really pity the people editing that daily sometimes.

In conclusion, I may sound like a person who does not respect other peoples choices. But making wrong choices sometimes allow people like me to seem mean. It's their idiocity that needs helping. Do not buy Avanzas. You may be as clever as the people who posted the examples above.

SAAB - Going extinct, does it really matter to any of us?

Hello fellow readers. I'm now getting paid to write articles for myautoblog.org. Click on the link below to read it.

http://www.mycarforum.com/blog/myautoblog/76/saab---going-extinct-does-it-really-matter-to-any-of-us/

Of Formula 1 and statements made by a certain Malaysian

The Formula 1 silly season or 'of-season' circus is going at full swing at the moment. Recently we read that Brawn GP was bought by Mercedes, Lotus and Malaysia are F1 team mates in a certain sort of way, Petronas has decided to sponsor the newly formed ex-Brawn now named Mercedes Petronas and Michael Schumacher coming out of retirement to race for them. I am looking forward to seeing Schumi race again.

But I think the news that made my grey matter spin a little is the fact that Alex Yoong is ashamed that Petronas isn't sponsoring Team  Lotus F1. In all honestly, what was he thinking when he made that statement on his Twitter account. We also know that with Schumi back in F1 and with Mercedes, I can easily state that all TV cameras will spend alot of screen time on the Mercedes Petronas cars and with that, Petronas has actually made an advertising coup. On a company level, they've actually made the right choice. We'd now see two big Malaysian names on two teams now, one, Mercedes Petronas and the other Lotus F1, with Malaysia and maybe Air Asia plastered all over the cars. Isn't that bigger mileage for the country?

Then again, people who like posting instantaneous messages on either Twitter or Facebook usually do not think of the repercussion when they post on these sites. Then again, the word Twitter is derived from the word TWIT:

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A twit is an idiot.

The term may also refer to:

• The TWiT podcast network TWiT.tv, or a fan of it
• The weekly TWiT.tv podcast This WEEK in TECH.
• The Roald Dahl children's book called The Twits
• Acronym for Teenage Women In their Thirties
• A user of Twitter

Hence, if we look at the origin of the word, we now know what is in the mind and the person of Mr Alex Yoong when he 'twitted' about Petronas sponsoring Mercedes. Most probably nothing. The moral of the story is that do not be an overzealous updater. Think before typing. All it takes is some patience, and maybe in the case of Mr Yoong, a PR officer to go over all postings.

Now that Proton and Perodua have launched their MPVs......

It has been awhile since I discussed MPVs or people carriers in my articles. The reason that I don't discuss more about them is that I despise them. These automobiles are large van like objects that enable many human beings to be carried at one go. They have 7 seats and have a supposedly versatile floorplan. They can carry large objects from lifestyle stores like IKEA with their seats folded. They can do almost anything and are supposedly God's gift to families. The automobiles in question are those large MPVs like the Naza Ria, Toyota Estima Toyota Innova Toyota Alphard, Toyota Big Fat Bungalow and such new vehicles like the Proton Exora come into mind. Those smaller, more car like MPVs like the Honda Stream, Naza Citra, Nissan Grand Livina or even the Toyota Wish aren't as bad, as they look like slightly obese station wagons and are more car like to drive.

A history lesson

The Final Word on Football............

Recently Manchester United lost to Liverpool. Some may say that this is a rare occurrence and that the fans of Liverpool have poured into the streets rejoicing at the victory. That its players played gallantly and that they thoroughly deserved that victory. It was a battle royal between the two and the best team won. Manchester United fought well but they lost. The referee was blind. The players were careless. Some were dead men playing. Liverpool was at their best. The bookies bribed the players. If Bryan Robson were playing Manchester United wouldn't have lost. Beckham shouldn't have married Posh Spice and may Beckham leave the team. I wish Kenny Daglish were still playing. If Ronaldo didn't leave things would be different. Men in shorts are my kinda thing. Now what I just typed would made sense to either one of the team's supporters but I'm sorry, but those of you motorheads who choose to support either Manchester United or Liverpool should stop doing so.

Near fanatical support of Manchester United would mean that you are the no different from a billion or so people who support the same team. Supporting Liverpool means the same thing, although there may be slightly less of you Liverpool fans out there. Do remember that the word 'fan' is derived from the word 'fanatic and it means you are this close to becoming an axe murderer. All it needs is spark by a Liverpool fan (if you are a Man U fan) to diss your team and you may just pummel his head with your fist and end up slightly dead. But the main point is this. If you are a motorhead you should stop supporting either team as it is a waste of your time and money. Mainly a waste time if you don't place large bets anyway.

If you're a motorhead, you'd be better reading that car magazine of yours or looking at other forms of car pornography instead of watching 22 grown men chase a ball round a field. The problem with football is that it is boring. It has become so tactical that you don't see someone run rings from the middle of the field, through the midfield players, through the defender's legs and then in between the keeper's legs to score a goal. Now we get to hear tactics, lobs, passes, defensive play, coaches shouting from the edge of the field but no actual dribbling, no risk taking or no Pele or Maradona kind of magic anymore. It's absolutely dull watching grown men in shorts passing from one to another and then try some stupid cross to score. There's no Geoff Hurst style of like flying in the air kind of kick in the '66 World Cup or a Maradona dribble from the middle of the field straight through a shocked England defence sometime in the late 70s. There's no actual magic. Even watching Brazil play in the last world cup was like watching a ball tied to a string but no actual scoring or finala finishing touches. It was bloody boring. I mean what's the point of sacrificing late nights watching nothing interesting except some 'free kick specialists' fall down and get a free kick for their teams? They don't play football, it's as bad as watching wrestling on TV. At least you know they're faking it there.

Now another problem with either Manchester United or a Liverpool fan is that they can get pretty anal about their teams. Like here, I put Manchester before Liverpool. This little fact would upset some Liverpool fans because I didn't put their team before their arch rivals in this article. It's outrageous. I have to say that both are regarded by yours truly to be as good as the other, which is actually inconsequential to the well being of planet Earth. You see, if a meteor were to hit both teams while they were playing life would still go on. No country is going to go bust, no one will die of hunger and certainly no one will run out of things to do if such an event were to occur. I suppose some Chelsea fans would rejoice, but that's not the point.

The biggest reason on why you as a motorhead should not bother with either team is that if you were to spend your money purchasing tickets, souvenirs, ESPN subscriptions or even posters on any of the teams, you are actually making some football star who may be as clever as the turnip planted by some British farmer or a footballer that speaks in a squaky voice be filthy rich. You are sponsoring their slightly lavish lifestyle by paying for their Bentley Continental GTs, their Aston Martins and their Ferraris. It is you who enable those that do not need to study hard for their PHDs, MBAs or even go to Iraq to fight for their country to live fantastically rich lives. And the irony is, do they really care about the riots that happen after their games? Most of them end up in some posh restaurant eating cuisine food with their WAGs. Whereas you'd be at some teh tarik mamak shop and have  a cheap piece of roti canai which is just plain flour, suddenly becomming more clever than the coaches that actually coached the teams in the first place. Do they actually care about you eating normal food? Do they even know you exist? All they know is you bought that club scarf and paid for your ESPN subscription that enables them to maintain their exclusive lifestyle. What about your lifestyle? Instead of watching them, you could save the world, read a book or take a nice drive somewherec during that 90 minutes of boredom. If you are not a footballer in the first place, why bother watching it? Woudn't it be better playing the game instead of watching a game where there's no more magic nowadays? The game won't change. Its too boring and tactical I say again. If you want a change, don't watch it anymore.

Then again, if you're here in Malaysia, why are you bothered about some bloke on the other side of the world? Do you even know that John Major isn't the Prime Minister of England anymore? Do you know what's the current economic situation in Britain? Do you know that having tea is a very English thing? I know you do know that two English teams played football and one team won. Is that worthwhile information for some of you? I suppose it is, but you should stop. You need to aim for that Bentley and not let those footballers buy such cars and make them cheaper, image-wise, than they actually are. I mean, does Mr Rooney or squeaky voice Beckham make a fine Aston Martin or a Bentley ambassador? You'd actually be cringing at that thought and remember the next time there's a game on telly that you think will make a difference in the world. It won't. Don't bother, go read a Haynes manual, as its more productive.

OFF TOPIC: THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN MOTORING.......

Now all of you out there know that there's more to life than motoring. Finding mountain passes, hairpins, modding your car, spending hours of your life at the mechanic ogling other people's rides and cruising the nightspots are an integral part of a motorhead's life. But, there is more to life than just this. I wish to just state here that there are other stuff that yours truly over here indulges in.

One of the good things about having a fixed salary and a gentlemen's way of dressing up is the need of proper shoes. As I've stated much earlier you should have the appropriate footwear for most of the occasions, even driving. We do have our expensive driving moccs or our PUMA driving shoes for our occasional weekend jaunts in our fast cars but when we go to work everytime I look down at guy's feet I see black cheap loafers. No, the black HUSH PUPPIES slip-ons are cheap shoes okay? The BATA (BUY AND THROW AWAY) shoes are even worse. If you can spend about RM3,500 on a set of Japanese sports rims for your car why can't you spend RM200-500 on a decent pair of work shoes? People look at your rims and they do look at the way you look also.

What every motorhead should try to have is the following:
1. One good dark coloured suit (for weddings, funerals and certain semi-formal occasions)
2. One good watch - you do need to tell time. That Casio G-SHOCK won't impress the women at the casino. James Bond uses Omega and previously Rolex. There are reasons for this especially with the Rolex if you're stuck in a third world country you can pawn it for good money.
3. One good pen - That cheap Kilometrico in your business shirt pocket looks cheap. And makes you look cheaper. Buy a RM50 Parker Jotter. Not a pricey pen but it looks its part and your image will improve with this small investment but if you lose it you won't cry like a baby (try losing a MONTEGRAPPA and then see how).
4. Two good pairs of shoes for work. Two is the minimum number so that you can rotate them. Use one and rest the other. But the best number for rotation is actually 5 pairs. So you only use that one pair per day per week. Your shoes will last a long time if you do so. If you would kindly check out the picture below you'd see that I have enough shoes to have a proper rotation of shoes that would keep them wearable for a long long time. There is that saying "you are too poor to afford one good pair of shoes" as one good pair will only last about six months or less if worn everyday. And that's why you should have at least two pairs of shoes for any occasion.

 The picture you see are only of my lace-ups. Most are Italian ( I like the more streamlined design compared to English Brogues), most are Blake/Rapid welted and are used for both work and social occasions. Due to strictly following rotational wear, some are almost 8 years old (The Black Clarks Brogues at the far left of the last row was my first pair of work shoes. Bought in 1997 and still perfectly wearable - after a resole or two) Not included here are my monk-straps, moccs, slip-ons, boots, sports shoes and so forth. See? I told you there was more to life than motoring.

Why is Team Lotus F1 Malaysia’s budget of a few hundred million Malaysian Ringgit per annum justified over feeding and housing the poor in Malaysia. - From the secret diary of the team’s principle.

Dear Diary,



Is the team F1 project justified? Well, firstly, my entertainment and transport allowance of about RM285,000 per month needs a large enough budget for such a salary. A budget of RM1 million per annum is rubbish. I’m not getting paid peanuts as I’m not doing a monkey’s job. I have a high profile job. Dealing with engineers, professional race car drivers, politicians and government officials as well captains of various industries who I will scrounge…. I mean beg for their funds require me to such a salary.

Secondly, I mean, me being the CEO of a world famous budget airline means that I have to allocate my time between two jobs. Hence, I need for another assistant to carry my F1 team official Blackberry and another assistant to carry my I-Phone for my airline business …. as you wouldn’t like your F1 team principle to come to work in tailor made pants pockets bulging with little items here and there. It isn’t presentable. My pockets are just there for my new Lotus company car keys (heard that I’ll be getting an Evora as well as a Proton Chancellor for my use from Proton soon! Yippie!!!) and my wad of cash. These handphone carrying assistants need salaries too. As such, part of the budget would go to these two jokers. I don’t understand why people moan and complain about having no place to carry their phones, laptops and other stuff. Why don’t they just hire someone to carry it for them in the first place? All it costs is a couple of thousand per month. Oh yeah...add the cost of my new company cars to the budget too!

Thirdly, this organization would employ tea ladies, janitors, clerks, slaves, harem girls and so forth. So some poor people would be have jobs and can afford to eat and not die from any forms of starvation. These lower level staff would be paid via the budget at first before we can pull in those large sponsorships from large Malaysian conglomerates. We would be making at least 1,000 poor Malaysians have jobs directly and indirectly via this Team F1 investment. So it’s a good thing in a way. But of course, we’ll pay them minimum wage. I think my drivers, engineers and my partners (and my goodself) deserve more because we are the ones that work hard. I mean, they (the poor general workers) don’t need to go to Suzuka, Monaco, Bahrain, and any of the other F1 races around the world. We have to be there and we need the money. Our drivers have to race; our engineers have to maintain the cars. Why should the slaves…err…general workers be paid more than minimum wage compared with them (and I). For example, Monaco’s expensive! I was surprised that an egg and cheese sandwich costs as much as a buffet lunch at some of our budget hotels here in KL. In short, the budget is there so I and my F1 team don’t starve. No roti canai and teh tarik in Monaco you know? Imagine paying RM25.00 for a cup of coffee at Suzuka. RM10million wouldn’t cut it in this line of business. That’s why hundreds of millions is required.

Furthermore, team F1 promotes the nation to people around the world just like Sepang F1 track does. An F1 team will also generate exposure for Malaysia and is a logical second step after the F1 track. There are so many people who don’t even know where Malaysia is located. I remember describing Malaysia to a foreigner; “You know where Singapore is?”

“Yup”

“You know where Thailand is?”

“Ahhh…of course…go go girls, elephants and tomyam.”

“Malaysia is right in the middle”

“Ohhh yeahhh..that’s what that thing is in the middle on the map”

I’m honestly tired of answering questions like that. That’s why a few of us managed to convince the government to throw.. I mean spend money in this way to promote Malaysia even more…

So with F1 coming into Malaysia and with awareness, there’ll be more tourists and more tourists mean more money circulating in the country. These extra cash floating around would also go to the people of the country. Everyone from Hoteliers, Restaurants, Shopping centers, tourist spots would benefit. Not to mention, my airline would get more paying customers. Heck, making me chairman of this F1 team actually makes more personal exposure for me and my airline!!!!! I love it tremendously. I have more personal promotion that I really need. More banks would give my airline loans. I’ll be like Richard Branson…in fact I’ll be bigger than him soon! Richard Branson = Virgin Group. That’s like me = Air As.... hmm…soon I’ll take over the world….ha ha hahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahah.

Oh yeah. There are some ‘spoil-sports’ out there saying that instead of even suggesting this F1 team, the money should be channeled directly to the hardcore poor in Malaysia. I’m sorry, I fully disagree. Money is already being channeled to the poor. It’s just that they somehow forget the existence of Ministries like the Community Development and Family Ministry. Go register with them for aid. I’m sure that other government agencies like even the Muslim tithe department distributes tithe to the poor.

All you poor people should have to do like what I’m doing. Advertise yourself and the exposure allows you to go places. Look at me; I was only in charge of a company in the music industry and then KABAAMMM!!! I’m a famous budget airline boss and then I’m chosen as an F1 team supremo! Wow!

If you’re poor, it’s your fault, and not the government for channeling the money elsewhere. Hey, even if they didn’t initiate this F1 team (which I’m so absolutely happy they did ….to my benefit), the millions would go elsewhere that you may not even hear of. The government could have used the millions and opened up a top secret Nuclear power plant or an AREA 51 or even some stupid tall building or flagpole somewhere? The nuclear plant will then incur the wrath of America, then America invades us and overthrows our Prime Minister/government that I love so much, things will be worse. The money would be wasted anyway. At least it’s going my way..hehehe.. (as for the moment of course, as I’m only on the helm till things are stable hopefully by end of 2010). So why complain? Enjoy the ride. I surely am.

P.S. I wonder if my uncle is going to make his famous puttumayam for his Deepavali open house. It goes so well with Auntie’s curry. I hope Lotus loans me an Evora by then so that I can show it off to my auntie and uncle soon!

The 8th Generation Honda Civic - A current car that's ahead of its time

The current 8th generation Honda Civic is one of the most complete small family sedans I’ve ever driven. I had a few months ago spent an hour driving non stop the 1.8 liter version going round the same area, taking corners and bends as well as doing some 140-160km/h runs in it and came to this conclusion. It is one of the best RM120,000.00 car you can buy here in Malaysia and I have to nod in agreement at anyone who bought one.