How to choose a car like you're James Bond......

“Mr Bond, I've been expecting you.” I think this must be one of the most remembered line from the movies. The other would be “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.” But that is another matter as right now I just want to share with you how you should choose cars according to rules laid down by the everyone's favourite super spy, James Bond.

The cars have to have a certain criteria. Firstly, if you go by the fact that he's working in an agency (MI6) the car would be a company vehicle. But as we all know the agency he works for does espionage as its core business, the vehicles are a means to an end; i.e. a form of transport for travel, to tail a suspect, to escape from enemies and to seduce women (if the opportunity comes). So, while an Aston Martin is what is usually issued by Q branch when good ol' James goes on assignment it isn't always the car he uses. In some cases where he has to fly somewhere on short notice or where there isn't an MI6 office to procure an agency car from he has to make do with rentals. Notice that in Casino Royale he drives a Ford Mondeo and in Quantum of Solace he makes do with a Volvo S40 and some 4x4s too in a few Roger Moore movies. So the rules for cars used by James Bond would be as follows:

• It is a company paid ride, whether issued by Q Branch or rented. What he is given, he uses.

• If it is an Aston Martin DB5, or in the novels, a Bentley with coach built bodywork, it is a personal vehicle (a DB5 in the Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig movies, in the Connery ones, a Q branch special), which we find out was actually a car which he won in a card game (Casino Royale).



This...

....can keep up with this. IF you're James Bond that is.

1.      One must remember that James Bond is a government servant. He does not earn much but as he never seems to lose a bet (whether at cards - Casino Royale or in a sword fight – in Die Another Day), he must have a pretty high side income. Which would enable him to actually buy a Bentley like in the novels if he wanted to.

So if it is a personal car, it would and should to be a classic British sports car (some non- Ian Flemming novels put him in Saab, sad but true), preferbly with a large cubic capacity engine so that it can have enough power to chase down a 1995 Ferrari F355 driven by a crazed Russian dominatrix (as in Goldeneye). The handling part need not be too great as there is no way in hell that a 1960s Aston Martin DB5 can actually chase or follow the F355. The only reason that the old Aston can do that is that James Bond can drive any car better than Michael Schumacher. Period

2.     If the car is a MI6 issue, then it would be British, or if the tender for a vehicle was won by a German company, a German car like a BMW would be the one issued to him. In this case the car will usually be high powered (BMW Z8, BMW 750I, Aston Martin Vanquish, Aston DBS) or in one occasion, as the sole purpose was to transport James and a Russian computer analyst to a waiting Cessna for their foray into Cuba, a poof of a car, the BMW Z3.

3.     If ol' James had to steal a car, it would be either a car, a truck or an SUV (Quantum of Solace). The reason why he'd steal any of this is that a car would be a decent ride with a low center of gravity, that would be fast enough and handle well enough to escape with, a truck would be a decently large vehicle to decimate any baddie in his path and an SUV may allow him to go off road, therefore giving him more travel options that a spy should have when escaping.

4.     James Bond would never ever steal an MPV. It has bad power to weight ratio, bad handling characteristics and its uncool for him to look like he has 2 boys and 2 girls, a wife, a pet labrador, a maid and luggage. A super spy must look like a super spy, unless you're like Arnold Susahnakeja in True Lies that is. That means Avanzas, Innovas and even Alzas are out of the question.

5.     When you do have a car, you have to treat the car as a means to an end. It is just a gadget for ol' James to achieve his task at hand. You have to treat the car like what it is, a hunk of metal. Nothing more and nothing less. If it gets destroyed, life still goes on. Anyway you have insurance. Use it, crash a few cars, enjoy life a little.

So how do you manage to at least uphold James Bond's car sense in the real world?

1.      Join a company that gives you a company car. Any company car will do, even a Toyota Altis will allow you to achieve rules 1 and 5. With a company car, there is no sense of possession, hence if you drove it like you stole it, it still wouldn't make your wallet thinner.

2.    If you have to buy your own car, and I can assume that it would be pretty impossible for you to win an Aston Martin in a card game much less a hundred dollars, make sure it has at least these virtues:

• It handles – must be fun to drive
• It is decently fast – 15seconds to 100km/h isn't the way to go.

Although in For your Eyes Only James drove a Citroen 2CV and managed to keep ahead of the baddies. The 2CV has no handling and no speed at all. So basically what I'm telling you is that any car will do but it is you who must have the skill better than Michael Schumacher then.

This...can outrun any large Peugeot or anything you can throw at it. IF you're James Bond that is.

So you can buy a 2 door coupe, 4 doors super saloon, a SUV, a Proton Saga or even a Perodua Myvi. It wouldn't make any difference. But it HAS to be a car. A gentleman's carriage should be a dignified looking vehicle, an MPV is a derivative of a van. Just don't buy a people carrier. The 22 movies featuring James Bond, never have I seen him drive an MPV. So you shouldn't too. So you have 76 children, well, aside from me giving you a lecture on birth control I have to say tough luck being a super suave spy then!

3.     Now once you have your car you must remember one thing, it is just like any gadget for you to achieve a certain goal. You shouldn't take things so seriously and put the car on any sort of pedestal. You just drive it and modify it as you please. Oh and if you intend to modify your ride its fine. The car becomes like a Q branch car, in some ways. You should mod the handling and power so that it is corners better and drives faster. You may require speed and handling to outrun your enemies.

Do not bother with spoilers, stickers as both make you stand out in a crowd. As a spy you should blend into the crowd. Even James Bond uses the Aston in places like Monaco or where his cover involves being a banker or there's money involved (see Tomorrow Never Dies – Banker in a BMW). In poorer countries, he drives Fords or that sort.

So there you have it. The basic rules of how to choose a car like James Bond.

The Bond Seven Hundred and Fifty - I have to admit that it is the ultimate 'Q car'. Why? It is understated and a real spy wouldn't want to stand out in the crowd. Luxury and performance is there, but it is still not a flashy ride and would not attract unwanted attention. Which is what a spy would really want.