Another MPV hating article for the fun of it

I was in Singapore about a month ago for the Singapore Airshow. Aside from getting to view in person the latest Subaru Impreza S-GT (WRX Auto) which looked like a truncated Toyota Caldina (which is pretty dull looking but not as bad as I first expected it to look) and the new Lancer Evolution 10, which in my opinion doesn't really look like it has differentiated alot from the Lancer GT/GLS that I recently drove (visually almost similiar), and in between complaining to my business partner about the ridiculously high cost of being a visitor to such an event (SGD50 for parking if we drove, SGD5 for a short 10minute busride!) I witnessed the performance of something that was as graceful as a hippopotamus wearing a tutu doing the nutcracker suite. It was the flying display of the Airbus A380. For those of you who are not aware of what an A380 is, I shall tell you that it is currently the largest passenger aircraft in the world. It is larger than the Boeing 747 Jumbo Jet and is cleaner, quieter and flies smarter due to very military spec avionics. It is the stay-puft man, pilsbury, gigantor, el-lardo of the airline industry. Maybe some larger transport aircraft may 'dwarf' it, but that's only very slightly.

Imagine looking up and seeing that hippo feeling extremely light on its feet, making turns at around 100km/h without a worry. Technology does that. It enables a tutu wearing hippo like the A380 to actually perform wonders. I was looking up and wondering how many tons of aluminium, plastic and composite material larger than Jabba the Hutt could actually be wafting by extremely slowly doing circles while the commentator was blabbering away about the A380’s specifications with classical music playing in the background. It wasn’t as spectacular as watching a Sukhoi SU-30 doing its Cobra Stance and Falling Leaf-like stall manoeuvres, but it was indeed much better than watching some F16 doing a fly-by, which is pretty common in my books as I’ve seen tons of fighter aircraft flight displays in my line of work. So I usually ignore the Red Arrows, Black Eagles, Yellow Canaries, Flying Parakeets or any of that sort of aerobatic displays as they are all alike. I’d now like to watch someone invent something that is either humongous or small and dainty that can bend space and time. Enter a worm hole at one end of the runway and out the other. After watching the Sukhoi do all those gravity defying stunts, I want all jet fighters to have variable directional nozzles, canards and fantastic avionics so that I can see UFO-like movements. Imagine at an Air Show we have Lockheed showing is an Independence Day like mothership slowly clearing the mountaintops of the Titiwangsa Range for a flyby at next year’s LIMA exhibition. Or imagine the Puddlejumper from Stargate:Atlantis doing an appearance at this year’s DSA. Appearing on one end of the runway and disappearing, then reappearing right above the crowds. That would be amazing.

I suppose being exposed to all these events and technology makes some people (like me) immune to being really surprised about technology. But it doesn’t. Again I bring you to the Airbus A380 experience. It really is a sight to behold when it is flying slow. The International House of Pancakes (or the A380) feels like its not moving due to its size when you watch it fly by you at slow speeds. Lucky there are no traffic jams in the sky. You only have delays when you wish to land due to lots of air traffic. So you may now ask what is the point of this article?

None whatsoever. We also realise that aeroplanes are much more economical if they are large humongous Airbuses and that they can carry 800-900 people at one go. However, air travel is not a personal way of travelling to 99% of all flyers as private jets are expensive. There is a vast difference when it comes to personal transport for us. We have motorcycles, bicycles and even cars. It is of this point that I state that the general public is confused when it comes to purchasing cars. I mean, if you had the money to buy a private jet like a Global Express would you buy a Boeing 747 instead because you wanted the extra legroom? You’d buy the Global Express because it’s small, nippy, fast and still luxurious over Jumbotron over there. The rationale behind buying an MPV is exactly the same thing. You will never put your money down for an oil tanker for private use over a Wellcraft Scarab cigarette boat, but why in God’s name would you take out your check book and write a down payment for a MPV when you don’t really need one except for once a year? Buy that small sports car or decent 4 door saloon. Honda City excluded.

Size Does Matter.

I’ve been having some opinion lately about large cars and fast cars in general. I will post something on fast cars later and shall blabber about large cars for now. I once posted an article about how large cars were growing in size recently and I am still amazed on why we humans nowadays need so much space and size in a car . This was what I wrote in early 2007:

“The first problem is the fact that cars are becoming larger. Look at the current Honda Civic, it’s so large that an Accord from 1990 looks small compared to it. Before 1995, Honda didn’t have a need to have a Honda City, look what’s happened now? In the year 2025, the Honda City will be Accord sized and the Accord will be slightly smaller than your average terrace house. The Mercedes S class will be slightly smaller than a small bungalow and would need a ladder for you to reach the door, occupy 2 lanes on a highway and because of the miracle of lightweight materials, electronics and engine development, make 125mpg. We are obviously screwed when it comes to a desire for space. Years ago, before men invented MPVs, we all went round in 4 door Mazda 323s, Volvo 244s and so forth. I think those days were simple. So simple that we won’t go back there again because cars those days have their own set of issues. We were screwed then as well as in the future.”

Do we really need all that space? Remember that the rest of the world, which means you and me included, doesn’t live in America, which means we don’t have acres of road to play with and a roadside parking space that would easily fit an M1 Abrams MBT. What we have are jam packed roads, slightly undersized parking lots (no joke as you’d notice the amounts of dings and dents on your car after a few years) and terrible road and city planning where we inherited some very narrow backlanes that won’t even fit a W140 S-Class Mercedes Benz. We actually need small to medium sized family sedans at the most. This means Honda Civic, Mitsubishi Lancer sized cars and not Toyota Camry and Honda Accords which in their current generations are large cars. These cars are heavy as they are conventional build cars; i.e. steel chassis and body which means lots of weight = stodgy handling (which isn't good for the enthusiast) and fuel guzzling. They have no real place in our society, as they are as big as a W220 S-Class nowadays. The reason is that space is at a premium and the amount of petrol a 2.4liter Camry guzzles isn’t very sensible in times where oil reaches a hundred US Dollars a barrel.

Please notice that none of us or our children have grown to Godzilla sized adults compared to our parents or grandparents. None of us are 11foot 6 inches tall and none of us actually have a waist larger than a Sequoia tree. We as a human race have not grown so much in the last 20 years until it actually warrants so much space to be had in a car. My dad in 5foot 10inches, I am unlucky in that I am two inches shorter in fact. My closest friends range from between 6ft tall to 5ft 4in tall; and I am referring to men here. So where is the actual growth spurt that’s supposedly happening? If you say that this is Asia and Asians tend to be short I can find you a short European and show him to you in no time as it’s the same thing over there. However, we seem to be purchasing larger cars. Note that it is popular to own a Toyota Camry or a Honda Accord which now seems to be extra large saloons compared to when they first started out. The Camry is as large as the first Lexus LS400 and the Accord is as large as the first Legend. This is downright stupid.

I think the problem is that car manufacturers are that they have focus groups, motoring journalists and America to blame for. The focus groups tend to be from a wide range of people who are parents, rocket scientists, insurance salesmen, lawyers and mass murderers. These people are those that suggested some detail that have been incorporated into modern cars. They suggested cup-holders (good). They and motor journalists suggested the fact that they need larger cars for them to use in their daily commute. Let’s for example take the Honda Civic. In 1985 it was a small 2-4 door hatchback/sedan that was used as a second car for people who wanted a small car to ferry their kids to school or for that short trip to the market. Honda slowly increased the car in size until what I believed it was optimum during the 1992 EG series chassis. Everyone who sat in one had decent and more than ample headroom and legroom. I don’t remember sitting in a 4 door SiR and complaining that my knee was bashed against the front seat or that my head was touching the headlining. It was cozy for 4 people and a slight squeeze for 5. But never did I complain I was in agony from a lack of space.

The problem with focus group participants who complained about lack of space in their Honda Civic was that they went and sat in some larger car (like the Accord at the time) and wished their small compact Civic was that car. This is actually the same with some journalists who jump in and out of cars comparing them and saying that this is actually too small compared to that newer model They compared the previous Civic with the newly launched Lancer and when the newly launched Corolla came out and trounced both in size said that the Civic and Lancer are small. It’s like a stupid arms race that’s caused by comparing one newer make to another. Car manufacturer engineers should not always follow what journalists and focus groups say.

The 2000 Civic was even larger than the EK series that it replaced. It even had a flat floor that liberated lots of space at the rear. However, it was still a slight squeeze for 5 people. So they came out with an even larger Civic this time around. While it looks stunning, it’s huge. Is there a real point for the size? This is where America comes in. For Honda to make a decent profit, it has to build global cars. Being global usually means you have to design a car for America, the land of the big. Look at their burgers and you know what I mean. The phrase ‘Thunder Thighs’ was coined by an American and so did the word (and burger) ‘Whopper’. This is a place where people are large and the average waist size is 45 to 600 inches depending on age and diet (and the amount of beer drank during the year’s Superbowl). To sell the small Civic in America it had to grow in size. However, it has to be noted that because of its girth, Civics no longer handle like they used to.

The Civic grew and grew and grew. And it is still growing until Honda noticed that it had grown to a size where another model can slot below that one. This is the problem. However, it isn’t only Honda or Toyota that couldn’t’ stop making their cars grow. Everyone had small cars that became fat. The BMW 3 series grew until BMW had to slot in a 1series. I truly dread the day when the 1 series becomes larger a few generations down the road. What are we going to have? A ½ series? ½20I? ½30I? How about a Mercedes A 0.570 to replace the A170 as the baby Merc? This has got to stop.

What should be done was this. I used ‘past tense’ due to the fact that it wasn’t done and now its too late to change. Firstly, get a few psychologists to analyze focus group participants. Get to the root of their suggestions. It may be an inherent need for a participant to suggest a larger Civic as they actually wanted an Accord but couldn’t afford one in the first place. Secondly, shoot any journalist that actually complains on the fact that the latest Lexus super saloon a tad smaller than a Rolls Royce Phantom. And thirdly, IGNORE America. They’re just a country of 5 lane a side highways and bus sized ‘compacts’. Their viewpoint isn’t relevant in the global car industry. See? I have an answer for everything.

The Dugong and the Tadpole

I have to be honest here. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as some people find the current Honda City a good looking, futuristic car. Usually people who like looking at this car are the owners of this car and that’s all there is to it. In my earlier blog you have heard me moan and complain about how much it resembles a tadpole on stilts. I have come to the conclusion that Honda City owners are people who think in this sort of manner:

1. All Hondas are good cars. Period.

2. All Hondas hold good resale value.

3. All Hondas are powered by F1 related engines.

4. All Hondas are prestigious.

5. All Hondas can be converted into a Type R Honda with the placement of a small badge at the boot stating so.

Well Honda City owners, I got news for you. Your Honda City is a tadpole on stilts and there are no excuses that you can give to make me say otherwise. It is also the ugliest new car in the world bar none.

Let me put you guys into perspective here.

1. All Hondas are good cars. Except the City. The gearbox is a stupid CVT box that feels like any CVT box, i.e having that rubber band feel when driving. The only decent CVT box I’ve driven aren’t made by Honda. It also does not look good. It sits too high from the ground, the body sits on tires too small. The rear track is so much smaller than the front making it look so unbalanced when viewing it at a three quarter rear angle. The nose is too big for the rear. The rear too tacked on as it’s based on the Jazz then a boot glued on and so forth. You may say that it’s a practical car and it has a large boot, funky ultra rear seats. So? It’s ugly. Enough said.

2. Hondas have good resale value. Anyone who buys a car with the intention of getting good resale value is not a car enthusiast per se. Do not come to me saying that you like the City because you are a car enthusiast. No real enthusiast would be caught seen driving in one unless necessary (like if he had to steal a car and it was between a 1985 Proton Saga and the City). You may also think “at least I don’t have to look at it when I drive” it but why bother in the first place as deep down in your heart you know that the outside is hideous.

3. Honda engines are F1 related therefore very powerful. How powerful can your 1.5litre engine be for goodness sakes? Even if you bought the VTEC version of it you are saddled with a chassis that’s too tall to be sporty. Furthermore, that engine is an economy tuned VTEC, it sips, not gulps petrol.

4. Hondas are prestigious. That’s Kah Motor marketing getting to your brains. Luckily Kah Motor is not the official anymore. It’s as simple as that. How prestigious is your Honda if it’s a tadpole? You’re just buying that lame dumpy looking City because you want to be called a Honda owner but you can’t afford the Honda Civic or Accord in the first place. You’re just telling me you can't afford one of its bigger siblings but you still want the badge. That badge won't do you no good as it also tells me you got bad taste in styling and you choose practicality over style. Sometimes when you buy a car you are making an investment that you'll run around in for about 5 years. Do you honestly want to run around in an ugly car for that long a period?

5. Any Honda can be a Type R. True. As your Honda City is Type 'Rubbish' if you end up putting a ‘MUGEN’ type bodykit. Whatever you do to the car it will still be too narrow at the rear, too short in the nose, too long a boot, too unbalanced a look and basically too ugly. 17in Wheels? It does not help. Buy a Honda Jazz instead. At least with the Jazz you get a nice looking practical hatchback that MUGEN has actually played around with as there recently has been a Mugen Jazz/ Fit with around 150bhp and is actually sporty. Furthermore, if you are willing to spend RM90K for an ugly car, you could buy a Jazz for only RM10K more and you won't look like a dork driving a tadpole on stilts.

If you ask whether I have actually had the guts to tell a City owner that he bought the wrong car I actually once did just that. There was this chap who recently bought a City who was a friend on a friend. I asked him why he bought a tadpole. He was speechless. I went on telling him that the tadpole isn't a car for him, or anyone trying to look cool. The worse thing was after that short chat, he somewhat agreed with me. I must meet more City owners to tell them what I feel. At least I feel better if not them.

What about its direct competitor? The newly launched Toyota Vios (left). Yes. It may look like a dugong. But at least that dugong is prettier than a tadpole. Also note that the City is old in its life cycle and a replacement is forthcomming (and will hopefully balance practicality/ function and looks). BUT for now: PLEASE buy the Dugong. You won’t regret it.

I Test Drove a People Carrier! The Nissan Grand Livina! Wheeeeeeee.....Not.

The Chinese New Year was a time where Kuala Lumpur suddenly becomes somewhat of a ghost town (or city). Where almost all its Chinese population leaves for their hometowns and almost all business activity stops to a standstill. This is due to the fact that most of the retail businesses in KL are run by the Chinese. This coupled to the fact that nowadays, everyone goes back to their hometown during any long holiday. The Malays and the Indians join the exodus out of KL creating mega traffic jams usually unseen and not experienced by those living outside KL. However as time goes by, we notice that there are also more and more people celebrating the Chinese Newy Year in KL as these are those that have been born and raised in and around the Klang Valley since around independence and have children and grand children around KL. It is because of this, Kuala Lumpur isn't as empty as it used to be. This is the same during the Hari Raya Aidil Fitri celebrations, where the city is still packed with people but there are no traffic jams but still heavy traffic here and there. While this is a good sign, it does not make any difference on the highways which are still jam-packed with people going here and there.

My friend and his family took forever to reach KL from Karak highway due to slow moving traffic on the hilly sections of that stretch. A one and a half hour trip via highway to Kuantan takes at least 4 hours. I think we Malaysians should just stay home during other people's festivals in order to keep the roads clear for those celebrating. This however is easier said than done as the reason for most people who are not celebrating the festivities is that that is the only time they have to 1. Get Married 2. Go on a family holiday. So it is impossible to cut down on traffic during the festivities. So what are your other options?

1. You buy a smaller car so that your carbon footprint is smaller. That's stupid. Would you want to be sitting in a Perodua Kelisa on the highway doing 110km/h and feel all that NVH get to you after a few hours sitting in a small cramped cabin? Or would you want to be sitting in a traffic crawl for 4 hours in a small cramped cabin? The problem is the Kelisa or a Kancil or a Viva is that these are city cars that are actually comfortable for short trips but hell for larger sized drivers and those going on long trips. If you are driving alone, it would be quite tolerable but if you were travelling with 3 other people, it is a pain. Trust me.

2. You buy a people carrier. So that you can travel in relative comfort if you have 5 or 6 of you to bring along. However, owning a people carrier basically tells the world you are a married man, hence uncool to the rest of the world. But think about it, your carbon footprint may be larger than the Kelisa, but you have space and comfort for all to enjoy sitting together in that God forsaken crawl back to Kuala Lumpur. The 6 of you can sing songs, play games, watch DVDs, hit each other, listen to each other curse and swear, play ping pong (if your van is large enough), make babies (if it has a separate bedroom) and so forth. So instead of having 2 cars to carry your family, i.e your wife has to drive the other car. The MPV throws you, your wife, 3 kids and the maid all into one purportedly useful vehicle, the MPV. Quite good for reducing traffic on those back to KL highway crawls you think? Unfortunately, these same vehicles cause extra congestion on work days where one individual is driving that huge bulk carrier alone without any passengers or containers in the back. Maybe the other option would be owning a different car for a different occasion. As such, the Government should again ensure that MPV owners have at least a small town car for daily commutes whether their owners like it or not.

Speaking of people carriers, I got to test drive one during the last holidays. The Nissan Grand Livina. Is it good you might ask? It's cheap I may say. RM82,000+ for the 1.6 version is a lot of car/van for the money especially when it's the same price Nissan is asking for their Latio sedan and around the same price Toyota is asking for the basic Vios. You get a 1.6liter 109bhp 4 speed automatic, 7 seater MPV with power everything and decent build quality. For RM82k, it is amazing. It looks pretty decent unlike a Toyota Avanza which looks like a toad with a fatter that usual rear end. It looks like a slightly taller station wagon which is somewhat like what the Toyota Wish and Honda Streams look like. This is a good thing, as those stupidly bungalow looking Toyota Alphard and Nissan Elgrands aren't the way to go when it comes to vehicle ownership. The question that came to my mind is that; What is heck's name is a Grand Livina? I know what 'grand' means, but Livina? I did some looking up, the only thing I thought of was that LIVINA is short for 'LIVing IN A'. Grand Living in a what? Box? I suppose so. But in order to assist me I used Wikipedia and this is what i got from the word Livina.

Livina is a village and municipality in Partizánske District in the Trenčín Region of western Slovakia. (see Map)

In historical records the village was first mentioned in 1340.

The municipality lies at an altitude of 196 metres and covers an area of 3.223 km². It has a population of about 120 people.

I suppose the Nissan is a car that celebrates the grand place of LIVINA that has a population smaller than Tanjung Malim. I wonder how grand is that compared to Vienna? Prague? or even Zurich? They may as well called it Grand Woolongong and it could even be a larger place than Livina. Note in the press photo above, Nissan feels the need to associate the Grandness of the Grand Livina by putting it in a picture with a grand piano visible inside the supposedly grand entrance of a grand house.

Anyway, I sat in the 2nd row of seats when I first rode in that MPV (2 up front, me and a 10 yr old kid in the 2nd row - pretty family like I must add). After a few minutes I noticed that it was decently quiet and the road noise was decently filtered out. The ride was slightly on the firm side from where I was sitting. I suppose Nissan's engineers must have done quite an outstanding job making a budget MPV pretty quiet. The only drawback I could find was that the body wasn't as rigid as I would have liked, You could feel some shudder on certain bigger bumps which you know comes from lack of body control or rigidity. Oh yeah, the 3rd row of seats are like other budget MPVs, there for the sake of having the extra 6th and 7th seats but isn't all that comfortable most of the time. The seats eat into luggage space here also and you have as much luggage space as a small hatchback, which is one major problem most MPVs don't have a solution for.

Driving the Livina is pretty straightforward. Electric Power Steering, 4 Speed Autobox, Seats perched high up to give a commanding view but 100% unsporty. I'd prefer a lower car like driving position anytime over this. The steering is light, but not overservoed like most electric powersteerings I've tried but it still has that over centering feel to it like most electric steering wheels do. The automatic gearbox is pretty quick on kickdown and the 1.6liter engine doesn't feel like its underpowered hauling an MPV body. I suppose it's because the Livina only weighs 1250kgs which isn't a porkysort of weight for its 109hp and 150nm of torque. It does pretty fine I suppose.

Taking corners is pretty okay provided you drive like a father with 4 children in the vehicle. While the ride is slightly firm, it still bounces a little and understeers a fair bit. A fair bit here means that as a typical family van understeer sets in pretty early and you can feel it comming in even at some low speed corners. It also feels that it is rolling even with that slightly firm-like ride. However, it has a pretty decent turning circle and

All this facts are basically what you'd expect when you own one of these. There is nothing pleasurable from driving the Livina, but at least you don't suffer like the people who have to drive an Avanza EVERYDAY. The chap I borrowed the Livina from once owned an Avanza, he said that the Avanza was only useful for carrying his family around, and it was uncomfortable (and ugly) and at least now he can carry his family around him in some dignity and comfort. Which is miles better than his previous Van. I suppose it's better than nothing. As for me, I'd still stay away from this vehicle. It is unsporty and Nissan family car dull, therefore unbecoming of me to own one (or anyone who aspires to own a GTR etc. etc.).

That said, the guy (my wife's cousin) I tested it with said that it is real good value for money, He'd buy it and slap on some 17in wheels on it. Why? I added as it'll totally spoil the comfy and sloshy ride and even with 17in wheels and tires & springs, it's not going to make you corner like a 350z or a GTR. It would be pretty worthless doing so as the main point is that it would still look like an MPV, hence you look married and unavailable and therefore, uncool. There is nothing else to debate here! Leave it as it is if you buy one, you'd be better off saving that money for a weekend car. Or just upgrade the stereo system with better speakers and more monitors, and that's the best mods for these sort of vehicles. Aside from that....the best mod is buy yourself a decent family sedan.

Worries about the I Drive system.

Recently I noticed that everything these days have some Windows style interface and even cars seem to have them. Recently I tried the new Audi Q7 and it too has an ‘I’ drive style setup with menus and sub menus to set the radio, suspension, lights, etc. whatever that can be controlled by a mouse like toggle can be interfaced with this setup. Although I am told that the Audi version isn’t as ‘I’diotic as a BMW ‘I’ drive, it still seems to be too gadgetry for its own good. Yes, I suppose it de-clutters the dashboard making it have less switches and toggles but somehow going through menus and sometimes sub-menus are a little bit tedious. Sometimes you’d wish for the good old days when starting a car requires a key (and maybe a start button). Now, you need to wonder whether your door was locked in the first place as you approached your car and found the door unlocked as you have the keyless entry system. While you are aware that this function allows your car to be locked outside of the receiver’s range, you’ll still be paranoid and think whether you have locked the car or not. This little bit of paranoia isn’t healthy as living in the world today is bad enough with suicide bombers, kidnappers, crazed politicians all around you.

Also imagine going into your new BMW 790iL and finding out that to start the car you have to scroll as follows through the ‘I’diotic Drive.

Start Menu – Select – Password – Password Approved – Enter Menu – Menu – Select – New User – Enter password – Select Start –

Suddenly the screen blinks and a guy in a paperclip (like the Microsoft Help guy except here he is a spanner) says “ do you need help? If so click on the screen” – you then click “do not show help again”

- Start Menu appears – Selection – Cold Start – Hot Start – you choose Cold Start

- the engine decides to do a Pentium Duo Core processor system start up before actually cranking up the engine 5 minutes later like your Acer notebook. And you’re off….hours after you’ve got into your car. Imagine if you wanted to be somewhere in 5 minutes, you’d only make it in 10.

Do you actually notice that if you were to drive your car all you actually need is a key, you turn it, drop the hand brake, select gear and you’re off. But in these new models, you may have to sit through it like your notebook. This is something I don’t wish for it to happen. Somehow, the old system of having a button for everything makes perfect sense. As in the first place, you don’t need so many buttons at all. You don’t actually need all the gadgetry in the first place. You just want to have them so that you can brag about it with friends. You have actually no need for gadgets and extra meters in your vehicle. What is given is sufficient and you know it as the only stuff you need is a radio with 6 preset channels, the petrol gauge, the speedometer, Rev Counter and a water temp meter. The rest is purely optional as if you’re taking a nice reasonably drive through the countryside, that is all you need, and the sound of your engine purring nicely.

Imagine the opposite of this concept. We now go forward to the year 2020 and Mr Waldo Zutchovny, a former Grand Slam Tennis Champion from Ukraine who recently started the new automobile brand HIRONDEL, which gets its name from the fictional vehicle the Saint uses in Leslie Chateris’ The Saint novels. Mr. Zutchovny unveils its latest creation, a back to basics grand tourer modelled after the GTs of the 1930s. The Hirondel GT-SOT (Strafford on Trent) named after that famous English District famous for, being very British I suppose. The car is fully made from aluminium, having a aluminium spaceframe and an engine, rims, fascia made out of magnesium alloy. It has an engine that you start with, by heavens, something called a key. It has windows that move up and down by using your fingers and arm to turn a knob that goes round and round. Those from the 1970s would remember such a device. But what a tactile feel the mechanism has, as it is made from magnesium and is warm to the touch. The car is devoid of anything electrical and everything interacts with the driver manually. It is a car from a bygone era and Mr Waldo Zutchovny must be proud of taking motoring back to its roots.

“It doesn’t even have Sat Nav! How are we going to drive it around town?”

“My dear fellow, that’s what the map in the glove box is for! And that’s what your eyes are for; looking at street signs!” Said Waldo, to the crowd’s surprise and horror!

Will such an event happen? Or are we going to be more ‘thankful’ for Microsoft’s contribution in motoring? The ‘I’ Drive style setup. I mean really, if it wasn’t for a Windows style interface, such things wouldn’t have happened. Can we go back in time to assassinate Bill Gates? Or should we just try searching for the clever guy who wanted to interface that setup in all BMWs in the first place? Then again, I think I could live with it, as there is a bigger and more irritating thing about BMWs, the head of design Chris Bangle. Maybe we should go in time and get rid of him. But this is another story altogether. But if you also don’t like Chris Bangle as much as I do, go to this link:

http://www.petitiononline.com/STOPCB/petition.html

It's 2008...and nothing's really changed! Except the craze for donuts and the Lancer

Yes my friends...it's a new year and this is my first posting. We start the new year with the same ol' stuff actually; work, sleep, play, drink and eat. No new year's resolutions as they're just worthless talk and promises that no one will seem to keep. We have a new Proton Saga finally, and hopefully it won't last more than 250 years of production, which is how long the old one was in production. I'd like to see a new chassis every 8 years or so per model Proton, is that so hard to achieve? When the industry standard seems to be between 5 to 7 years, it shouldn't!

Anyways, I've got so many ideas in my head that isn't being translated to the blog right now and some may be new, some may have been discussed with a few friends and some may stay hidden. One of the strangest non-automotive trend that has hit Kuala Lumpur is standing in line for donuts...yes folks, Malaysians have a real big sweet tooth. J.CO. donuts recently opened up a store in Pavillion Shopping Mall recently and everyone seems to think it is okay queueing for donuts. This is a pretty pointless activity as you do not need to to queue for a piece of dough with a hole in the middle. You already queue for stamps, bill payments and other stuff, so I suppose it's alright for you to queue for donuts. There are better tasting pastries out there in the world. A fluffier donut does not mean you have to queue for it. There are better things to do other than queue. Furthermore, since its so popular, all you have to do is wait for more outlets or brances to be opened. Is that so hard? I mean, those donuts aren't going to be sold over the black market at a premium price. For example;

While queueing for a donut, Aishah (not her real name) is approached by Amin.

" Yo Sis, psst!"
"huh. apa dia?"
"Awak nak donut? Tak payah queue punya"
"Berapa?"
"RM10,00 for one"
"RM10.00? mahalnya"
"expensive abit la sis, but you don't need to queue"
"errr...okaylah"

This my friends, would not happen. It's a donut, not a ticket that can be scalped. The moral is, don't queue for something like a donut, queue for limited items, like a Mitsubishi Lancer GT, you pay the booking fee, then you can actually make a profit as the car can be sold with a RM6,000 premium over the retail price as demand is there! Amazing. This is because Mitsubishi cannot keep up with the demand of the new Lancer. This is a car that is better than a donut. You put your booking, wait 6 months (that's how long the waiting list is) and then, 3 months down the road you can talk to your sales rep and ask him to offer your car to a desparate customer for RM6,000 premium. It does not get better than this! With the money, have a nice high-tea at the Equatorial Hotel in K.L., the pastries taste so much better and there's actually no queue!

Some Fun to Drive Front wheel drive cars at RM300K, RM200K and RM100K

Recently I had the opportunity to try various new and old cars. A lot of them were the normal Front Wheel Drive Cars, to some All Wheel Drive ones but none of them were rear drive ones. This goes to show that we have got a big hole when it comes to rear wheel drive vehicles. You read in the magazines, you watch on TV that truly sporting cars have their rear wheels driven and their front wheels for steering. Purity of steering and drive I suppose but the general population isn’t going to experience such a feel as none of the bread and butter cars have rear wheel drive or for that matter all wheel drive. I think as a person who enjoys driving I can consider myself pretty lucky as I have the opportunity to try cars other than the norm and that I am not a motoring journalist per se.

Those who have been reading my ramblings so far will note that I am in my opinion one of those who does not like a lot of cars, including the VW GTI and the Suzy Swift Sport. Why you may ask? Well, the GTI is too big for its own good compared to the 1^st and 2^nd gen GTI and that is all the reason you need. It may be fast and all but it’s a van in hot hatch clothing. Why buy a van if you don’t need to? The Suzy Sport has a rubbery electrically powered steering which I don’t like and those motor journalists are all wrong. It 100% does not feel like a hot hatch of the ol’ skool. It has a driving position akin to a mini MPV i.e. tall and no low slung like those ol’ skool Honda civics from the late 80s and early 90s. I mean, what memories did it bring those journalists? Did they spend their teens driving around in 1^st generation Renault Espaces and Toyota Estimas? There is nothing ol’ skool about the Swift Sport in my opinion. It is a current variation of the hot hatch theme so prevalent nowadays; i.e mini MPV looks (Golf GTI again) and mini MPV seating position. I am sorry, but I drove around in a 1981 Honda Civic when I was 18 and it didn’t feel like a VW Combi Bus.

Now back to driving front wheel drive cars that actually make me feel good. I drove the new Audi TT2.0 recently and it is a very well put together car. I’d buy a car just by looking at the dash and feeling the tactile feel of the switch gear and steering. It’s an Audi, therefore very well put together. The DSG gearbox is a marvel of technology and was so much smarter than I was when it came to changing gears to match the corners and engine speed on my first attempt. It’s like you waking up in the morning and the maid and butler has everything prepared for you in advance. It’ s that good. The engine is typical VW-Audi Group FSI in that is sounds like a diesel on idle. It pulls good with very little lag from the turbo and coupled with that gearbox’s sweet gearing and the chassis’ low weight make the car one of the nicer front wheel drive cars that I have driven. If you have RM368,000 to blow on a car that has 200bhp, Porsche like looks this is the car to get. If you have RM200,000 to blow on a car and want the DSG gearbox, there is a van called the VW GTI. So don’t. Buy the stripped out Civic Type R instead. There is purity of design in that car which the golf does not have. Unless you’re already feeling old at the age of 30 and would still like the van which would mean your next car could be a boring MPV.

One other thing good about buying a 200bhp front wheel drive car is that it is safe to most Malaysian drivers. I mean, imagine this, if you were a guy who is around 30, it could safely mean that your first few cars were 1990s Protons and Hondas. These are front wheel drive cars and the only problem about them is that they will understeer. Which means you will see the roundabout you are crashing into and if you are slow enough, a little lift off will pull you back into line. Most Malaysian drivers are instinctively like that nowadays. They wouldn’t know what to do if suddenly the tail stepped out and it is the tail which happens to be oversteering into the roundabout. So graduating to a 200bhp front wheel driver is actually good sense as it won’t get you killed. But the question you might ask is that is it fun? Yes it is. The TT is a fun car, up to a limit. However this limit is pretty high for most normal people. I mean put a normal Honda Civic driver with only 5 years of front wheel drive experience into a BMW 330i in the wet and see if he can do the same rubbish he did in the Civic and survive. In fact, he may survive and be happy in the TT, which is actually good in terms of road safety. So, buy the TT for a wonderfully built car and a car that’s pretty fun to drive most of the time if you’re looking for a 2 door sports coupe. If you’re looking for all out thrills at RM200,000.00 buy the Civic Type R.

The Civic Type R (right) is something I haven’t tested yet, but urban legends on the car have popped up and according to all of them that I’ve heard the car is nothing short of amazing. At RM200,000, nothing comes close if you’re looking for an out and out front drive rocket that handles.

Am I telling you guys out there that there are no cheap to buy front wheel drive cars out there? No. You can buy some pretty decent handling Protons with wonky build quality and cheap plastics that you’d be satisfied with if you can tolerate it. The so called good cars start at RM100,000. You can buy the Swift Sport for RM100,000.00 for lift off oversteer and trailbrake oversteer but you’d have a seating position of an MPV and a rubbery steering. What you could buy if you didn’t care about resale value is a brand spanking new Alfa 147 2.0 selespeed (see pic above) from the local distributor at a very cheap RM110,000 pre registered. While the Alfa 147 is a little long in the tooth, it is a fun car to drive. I recently drove a manual 1.6litre version and was quite impressed by the engine in terms of power, throttle response and of course by the sound produced by it. It is typical Alfa in that it sounds soulful. I think one of the best sounding in-line fours ever built. This is something you should go for; a sense of occasion which most cars don’t give you. The interior is nice to look at and the only problems I give that car was that its gearshift feels like a Datsun 120y, loose and vague. But being humans, we can adapt to such things over time and furthermore, if you’re buying new, there is no other option but the semi automatic selespeed.. The ride is pretty good, a little floaty but is entertaining nonetheless. The main thing is an Alfa 147 means you’ve got taste and willing to take risks in life. Risks in life? Well yeah, as you firstly don’t care about resale value (which is a good thing since no car actually holds value nowadays) and secondly you don’t mind the pain and suffering of maintaining an Alfa. I suppose with new Alfas the only thing is the selespeed gearbox and suspect electrics here in the tropics. It may or may not last, but there’s warranty which you could claim like crazy from the distributors and there’s the option of driving a Mazda 3 1.6 at RM99,000. And no, Mazda hasn’t paid me off in any way. It’s just that if you want reliability and decent looks as well as the car being not as common as the rest of the cars around this price range there is nothing other than this car if you want a decent sporting front wheel driver. The Lancer GT has risen in price and is going to be a pretty common car going by demand. The Lancer GLS actually is pretty sad looking. So buy an Alfa. Take some risks in life.

I've not mentioned those cars that you can get on the grey import market, but the Toyota Celica (left) get s deserved mention. For around RM120,000 it is entertaining with good steering feel, Toyota quality build standards and very decent power from the 1.8 VVTLi engine (180-190ps).

Does this article tell you that I don’t like to Golf GTI? Yes.

Driven: Automotive Bliss and the 2008 Suzuki Swift Sport

Automotive bliss can mean a lot of things. One of it could be waking up early on a Sunday morning, taking that sports car of yours for a drive to nowhere and feeling great about yourself. It can also mean the satisfaction of fixing something small yet the pleasure, or pain, derived from it is immense. Bliss is a nice word to describe a feeling that someone who feels naively feels satisfied or truly happy when the actual situation isn’t so impressive.

Imagine this, your sister in law’s Proton Wira decides to not start when your wife, kid and sister in law decide to go shopping on a Saturday afternoon. You being all dressed up in your sports Rolex, Italian loafers, nice Audi T shirt and blue jeans ready to hop into your Subaru Impreza decide to help change the battery under the sweltering sun. It’s an automotive moment there folks, getting his hands dirty fixing a run of the mill Proton and enjoying that moment of pain and suffering yet accomplishing something. The car started, everyone was happy and could go wherever they wanted to.

The Proton Matter Continues.....

The latest and greatest news around the local automotive industry is that Proton has decided to not enter into any joint venture arrangement with any larger automobile manufacturer. The rationale given by its main shareholders, mainly the Government of Malaysia, stated that since Proton performing well due to increased sales the need for a collaboration isn’t necessary at this point of time. Analysts were shocked, the stock market was surprised and Proton shares lost a Ringgit in record time. Most analysts still rated Proton shares as underperforming and were dismayed at such an outcome. They were concerned with the fact that although sales and exports were up, long term prospects for Proton did not seem to be strong. I totally agree to this statement as where is Proton going to find more money to develop new vehicles? Do they have the financial strength to spend on R&D for new vehicles?

If it takes them eons to come up with a Wira replacement and also a Saga replacement, what’s going to happen? By the time they finish the development on a Perdana replacement model I could be as old as Yoda at the rate things are going. I think Proton needs to keep abreast with other manufacturers or as close as possible to them. They should ensure that a new replacement model is launched at least every 6 to 7 years if they can’t do a 5 year cycle like Honda or Toyota. 7 years is quite similar to Mitsubishi and Subaru so it isn’t that bad.

I somehow wonder how the people in power think. Do they take into account economics of scale when making such a decision? Do they take a holistic view about the automotive industry? Do they just look at national pride? If it is just pride taken into account, it isn’t enough. Many of us have read articles stating that Proton should be left to market forces and also to be let run by people in the industry instead of politicians asking for favours and so forth. Do the people in power listen? Honestly, 30,000 bookings of Gen2s to China (to be rebadged as some other brand), a few thousand cars to an Arab country that may or may not be invaded by America in their war against terror, 5-6000 units to Indonesia (mostly as taxis), a few thousand to the UK (for pensioners), a few thousand shared between Australia (to some sheep and cattle farmers) and Singapore (people somehow deciding to buy Proton over cheap Japanese cars sold there) and 22,000 Personas that have bookings in Malaysia do not actually show the economics of scale needed to make Proton profitable in the long run.

While the above figures may sound productive, you have to ask whether such a turnaround is sustainable. In theory, a manufacturer will have to manufacture at least 80,000-100,000 units of something in order to become economically feasible. Will there be a production of 80,000 personas yearly? Will the demand for the Persona peak then fall? Will China readily accept the Gen2 and purchase another 30,000 units? Will there be people within Proton that will ensure that quality of the cars is maintained like it has been over the last 1 year or so? Does the popularity of the Persona affect the sales of other Proton cars? Are they now selling 5 Wajas, 10 Savvys, ½ a Perdana every month instead of 50 units of each? Too many questions are left unanswered and too many variables.

Another point is that I do not think VW is going to get burnt or snubbed again. Having been snubbed right after Tengku Mahaleel’s time, then a blooper statement by the PM of Malaysia saying that VW isn’t interested, then interested again, and then, now turned down again; there won’t be a white knight in the form of VW ever again if you ask me. Getting spat in the face isn’t the result they were looking for.

I love the Persona for what it is; it corrected the silly mistakes that the Gen2 and Neo had. But is it enough to turn a muddy slide into a beautifully terraced hillslope with roses and trees? The saga continues…..

MPVs and SUVs as well as the beloved Volvo Brick

Recently I have been spreading my belief on the uselessness of MPV ownership to a few friends and acquaintances. I’ve been telling them that those who buy an MPV yet only use its large volume of carry space once every Hari Raya or school holidays are actually people who are killing the environment more than those of us who drive tuned cars. If you have been following my blog for some time, you’d know that I have something against these vehicles. Now another reason for why I don’t like MPVs is that they actually cost more to manufacture in terms of energy. Imagine this; a Toyota Wish has 8 large glass panels and a sunroof, which is a lot of extra glass area that costs more than the energy used to power a lightbulb or three for a few days. 


A normal 4 door car would have less glass panels and basically cost slightly cheaper than a MPV. They are larger than a normal family car which means that the energy expanded to fabricate a MPV chassis is at least 50% more than a normal car. Hence, these vehicles actually take up more of earth’s valuable resources than is needed.They also take up so much more space (up to ½ a car extra) on the roads than a normal car and is not used for anything other than transporting the driver to and from his office in downtown Kuala Lumpur. This has got to stop. Malaysia should ban all MPVs that are large and cumbersome or legislate some sort of laws that allows the JPJ to evaluate the need of an individual to purchase such a form of transport. Basically JPJ should allow those who actually have 1 wife, 4 kids and a maid as well as 2 cats or a dog before they are allowed to buy such a large vehicle. Then upon buying such a vehicle, the MPV has sensors on the passenger seats which will immobilise the engine if there are less than 3 people aside from the driver in the MPV.

Cars Recently Launched In Malaysia, The Lancer -Civic Comparo ...And The Winner IS.....

Yes, I’ve been pretty busy and haven’t posted anything here recently yet there have been tons of new cars on the market. Maybe I just don’t really care about those new launchings. Actually I did care, but was too swamped due to work commitments and outside projects. One of these projects was the assistance I provided to help set up an Audi auto dealership located at the Jaya 33 Shopping Centre, Section 13, Petaling Jaya, Selangor. It has started two weeks ago and hopefully all goes well and if any of you readers (the 2 or 3 of you) ever have the cash to go buy Audis, you know where to look for. The First free plug just made over here (Update - It has since closed a few years ago)!

Of Harry Potter and Of Classic Cars....

I recently went to the Borders bookstore at the Curve and I picked up the latest and final Harry Potter instalment, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. In this context, ‘picked up’ meant that I picked up the book, flicked to the final 15 or so pages and read the ending there and then, and later put the book back to where it belonged. Which was on the shelf of some bookstore or some 13 year old girl or boy’s bookshelf. It was as expected, Harry lives, Voldemort dies, the kids (now at least 18 years old) end up back at the point where they part ways and move on with their lives.

The plot twist for the ending was something like ‘the wand of power will be passed on to its rightful heir if the following occurs:

1. in the case whereby my current owner decides to die, he is entitled prior to his death name a heir which will in all realms be my rightful heir. Or

2. if in the case where my current owner decides to die without him naming such an heir, I, the magical all powerful wand capable of destroying the one who in so many Harry Potter books whose name cannot be mentioned will choose my rightful heir.

Of course, in the case of the book, Voldemort didn’t read the fine print, and basically gets killed to death because of it. Somehow, you’d be surprised that in the real world, rich, corrupt businessmen on the same level of evil as Voldemort wouldn’t have a battery of lawyers that could decipher fine print. In this case, fine print as stated on the ownership of an all powerful and magical wand. The ending was too easy; it wasn’t like an ‘Elvis has left the building’ kind of grandeur, but more like a Proton Saga being crushed as it has outlived its usefulness. No one would remember that ol’ Proton Saga unlike if you crushed one Ferrari Enzo. In other words, the ending of the saga of ol’ young Harry Potter didn’t rock my boat.

Somehow, the reason Harry Potter sold was because I’d buy it if I were a teenager. I’d relate to it. I grew up reading Enid Blyton and her books gave the same same pleasure as reading Harry Potter. Kids would actually believe that they would be heroes, even besting grown wizards and warlords. But notice in the real world, a 13 year old kid may end up dead due to various crimes made by adult bad people. It is just fantasy, and in real life or in adult novels, 99% of the time it’s an adult who will solve a crime or a storyline. This is also another thing about Harry Potter novels that fail to rock my boat. It reads like a mystery novel. I rather get my hands on a thriller or horror and not a whodunit. I suppose it’s all about what you fancy in the end. But if I wrote Harry Potter, it’d have death matches instead of funny broomstick chasing a ball type of matches or flying Ford Anglias.

In my version Harry would zap to death his opponents, gets to bonk Hermoine all the time and other girls on a daily basis like James Bond as well as have more of a ‘rock star’ attitude. I mean, he’s Harry Potter, the guy who survived an encounter with some evil dude that no one else has. He SHOULD have some attitude as he’s still a teenager and popular and famous teens should be all cranky and worked up. Voldemort would be like the Emperor or a cross between a Balrog and Mum-RA, Dumbledoer would be more energetic like Gandalf and all the adult wizards would have more brains that they have now. I mean, Harry is young, naïve, while skilful as well as being protected by some scar on his forehead. But these older wizards have experience, which should account to something actually. Maybe that’s why I prefer classic fantasy by Tolkein and even Stephen King; they’re either classically written or morbidly written or with a better plot twist at the very end. However there is bound to be those who think I am just plain spoilsport but think about it. It's absolutely true what I am writing about the Harry Potter series.

Now this brings us to old classic cars. Don’t buy them. They’re useless aside from making you remember your childhood. Unless you are young and your childhood was filled with Honda Civics from the 1980s and 1990s. If you intend to buy a classic MGB GT or something of that sort, make sure you got the money and a lot of time to pamper it. I’ve driven an MGB GT, it drove superbly, steering has more feel that most modern cars and pretty ample handling for its 1.8l engine. But expect more from it like a daily commute in Kuala Lumpur or asking it to stop letting it’s petrol fumes from entering the passenger cabin is a hard thing to do. The parts you will have to order from England and they’re not cheap and I hate anyone who’d plonk in a Japanese engine in this car.

Even more recently, I helped reverse a 1957 Austin Healey 2600cc from its garage and I tell you it was hell. The door was small, the steering large, the seats unadjustable, the controls rock hard, the clutch high and the gear vague as doctor’s handwriting. To enter was agony as I had to be slim as a broomstick. To reach the clutch I had to actually reach it with my toes as the seat cannot be adjusted. I’m average in height mind you and I had to reach in. The only thing I enjoyed about that car is its looks and the power. Aside from that, it was sheer hell.

Now maybe that Jaguar Etype would be a different story altogether. Now if only I was ever given the chance of driving one of the most beautiful classic coupes of all time my mind may change on classic cars.

By the way, I have read a Harry Potter novel in full its just I don’t remember which one while I’m writing this and I couldn’t be bothered to look for the title.

The Audi TT Coupe at a glance...and some 'smart' People.

I was recently at the Malaysian launch of the new Audi TT coupe and enjoyed it very much. Yes, yes the car was good looking, but I enjoyed the food served there especially. They had those small oderves served by waiters and waitresses, they have music, colourful lights, usherettes and I repeat again, food that was pretty tasty to eat. It was also a rainy night but that didn’t seem to hamper the overall atmosphere. There were lots of people there, rich towkays, businessmen, doctors, lawyers, accountants, maybe some crooks and petty thieves as well as the towkay’s girlfriends, mistresses, wifes etc. I suppose an Audi TT is a good car for a rich chap to give to their girlfriends, mistresses and more.

Golf: The Game and The Car

Golf. I tried taking up golfing lessons but I never managed to finish it due to a total lack of interest in trying to hit a very small ball very far away from where I am. The aim of this game I’m told is to use a set of clubs, try to hit the ball into a hole slightly larger than the small ball which is usually at the very least is three to four hundred meters away. There are sand bunkers and water traps as well as areas out of bounds before you can consider trying to clear each hole or round with as little shots as possible. The game is tedious in that 18 holes may take you half a day. Add the 9 hole break for drinks and winner pays for lunch or dinner, it’s a whole day affair. The trade-off for this is supposedly health. But you may either die of sun stroke or skin cancer if you’re not careful from all that tanning or you may suffer from backache trying to follow exactly what your golf pro told you to do while taking that swing. You got at least 3 different angles in the swing and a funny kink in the knee before you're supposedly in the correct position to take a swing at that small ball. It's a method of torture I tell you.

Another reason why this game does not interest me is that you need so many clubs to hit a ball in one direction. You have a driver to ensure the ball can be hit the farthest, you have some irons for closer shots, a wedge for bunkers, a putter for even closer shots. You either have a golf buggy to drive around the course (which is good exercise for the buggy and not you). You have a caddy for lugging your golf cart filled with clubs you don’t use most of the time (which is good exercise for the caddy since he has to carry all the clubs). All the exercise you really get is by swinging that totally awkward 3 stage swing that will eventually cause severe back injury and walking back to the golf buggy and to the club house for a dose of high calorie steak and sandwiches (and beer for some). You don’t actually get any proper exercise. You actually play the game for the thrill of occasionally getting it right, showing off each other’s new set of clubs and getting high on a little side bets here and there.

Golf sets are also bulky and heavy items. You may have 10 clubs at any one time and lugging them around is a chore. Why don’t they invent a multi-purpose handle for them? You carry 2 shafts carried like samurai swords on your back like the ninjas do (how cool is that), one for the driver and one for the normal irons, have screw in heads carried around your waist on a waist-belt. The outfit includes a cool looking load bearing vest to attach that belt with the club heads as well as other golfing equipment. I think golfers will look cool looking like something from an American Ninja movie rather than looking like Government servants on a day off.

Furthermore, why can’t they have invented golf that only uses one club for every type of hole? Its so much easier to play by carrying one club instead of a whole bag. It’s like this, you are a French Foreign Legionnaire and your fort is being invaded by some crazy Bedouins. You have a .22 pistol to shoot at the shortest invader, a .38 for the next in size, a .45 for the bigger man, a .303 rifle for anyone larger than that and you keep changing guns just to suit the target. This is insane; you’d be dead before you know it. I’d like a nice big fat machine gun with unlimited ammunition if thousands of Bedouins came charging at me. Golf should be played like this. One club for all 18 holes. It takes up so much time, space and weight just to hit a small ball. If you want to hit a small ball, try taking up squash. The ball is almost the same size and travels fast in a small confined area.

However, I have to state that with cars going multi-purpose (or one club for all holes) is not necessary. That is why I don’t like MPVs. Too many of them drive MPVs alone and without any purpose for the other 6 empty seats. With cars, I would prefer them focused to doing a few things well rather than everything but not good at any one thing.

Golf. I had a small discussion about the Volkswagen Golf GTi Mk.5 with a friend the other day and he likes the car, its aggression and the design a lot. I on the other hand didn’t. It may be a fantastic car to drive and all that but I told him that the car looked like a mini MPV. I mean, park it beside to its cousins the Audi A3 or the Skoda Octavia or even the larger sized A4, you’d notice that the Golf is at least 2-3 inches taller and looks bigger. I suppose this is because Volkswagen found out from surveys that Hatchback owners like the space and utility of it. But the A3 is also a hatchback on the same chassis design and is still so much lower and looks so much daintier. This is maybe Audi A3 owners don’t go to IKEA as much as their younger Golf owners do. Those with the money to afford an A3 would pay IKEA to deliver the cupboard they bought right to their doorsteps.

The purpose of my argument is that do you need as much headroom if your sitting position is fine? The A3 still had tons of headroom and so does the other cousin, the Skoda Octavia. I love the A3’s driving position as I can bring myself low down and the steering nicely in front of me yet I still have lots of roof. Maybe being around 5ft 8in and not 6ft 3in does help.

But does the purpose of the high roofline actually help other than making the Golf as versatile as a van? Do you need a van in the first place? If you bought a GTi wouldn’t driving pleasure be up there on the list of stuff instead of roof height? I suppose there’s nothing the GTi enthusiast can do since Volkswagen designed the car like that. How unlucky for the GTi enthusiast. Maybe he should have saved up for an Audi instead. Then again, why bother with the brand Volkswagen in the first place since you're in Malaysia and there's nothing really special about owning a Volkswagen here.

The Lancer Evolution VIII MR is a good example of what I am stating here. The aluminium roof in the MR and RS series lowers the Center of Gravity of the Lancer Evolution by about 3mm or about 2.75inches of roof height. Imagine if you had to prepare a race car based on the Golf R32 and the Audi S3. You have the same equipment and specs, but somehow I would think that it would be easier to dial in the Audi to have better handling from this fact of reduced center of gravity. From this point alone, I’d state that the Golf is too big and bulky looking for its own good. It is a good looking car all by its own. But put it beside another 1.6 or 2.0 liter hatchback you will notice it’s actually huge. The Toyota Estima of all hatchbacks. Of course compared to the earlier one this is an improvement, but there is still room for more improvement. I want the next generation Golf to be actually lower in height and have a light and dainty look overall. I think that’s not much to ask.

Now, if I had a choice between the game of golf and a Volkswagen Golf, I’d take the car anytime even though it looks like a mini MPV.

The Vauxhall Viva....or the Perodua Viva ?

Many, many moons ago I had just learnt how to take a dump in my little potty instead of taking a dump in my diapers. It was a small step for a toddler and a relief to my mum as she didn't have to wash diapers anymore. I had also learnt that Malaysian Television had only 2 channels in black and white and I managed to survive these dark ages with barely a scratch. This was sometime in the mid 1970s and my father had just taken delivery of a new car named the Viva. Now this Viva was made by Vauxhall and was General Motors’ small family sized sedan that supposedly competed with the Fiat 124, Ford Escort and other European small family sedans. It was a dull looking sedan. If you were six years old and drew a car, you’d draw this kind of car, a typical three box shape with four wheels sticking out of it. (see pic)

Now the thing is the word ‘Viva’ basically means “Long Live” or “Hooray!” and this car had nothing to be praised at all. It was a crap car with crap build quality and handling. I remember my father telling me that he ended up with tons of cooling problems as well as some electrical problems also. It was also a car that my father used for the shortest period of time and not worth mentioning at all. The fact is, I believe that one of the reasons that my father chose a Vauxhall Viva was that I happened to come along into his life by being born, and he needed a ‘decent’ family car (This was after he owned an MGB GT which he sold off due to the reason stated above and another major incident involving that car). In those days, most respectable Government servants wouldn’t be caught dead in anything Japanese. That means something British or Italian, something that wasn’t named Sunny or Cedric or something that wasn’t made out of Milo tin. However, this meant suffering rust, electrical and cooling problems. Build quality wasn’t so much of an issue as buying British or Italian meant you have very little of it and not much difference from the Japanese cars of the same era. German cars were pricey then and only senior officers tended to buy them. Actually, there was nothing much to shout ‘Viva’ during those days in buying a normal family sedan in Malaysia. Basically the Vauxhall Viva was a dull and problematic car to own throughout the known universe. I doubt that any Vauxhall owner would scream “hooray!” after owning this car for a few months. Needless to say, the next car my dad bought was a second hand Mini Minor 850 which didn’t give him or my mum any major problems until he bought another car sometime later.

Notice that after the 1970s and in the 1980s GM basically had no market presence in Malaysia worth mentioning (other than Suzuki which it owns a major portion of shares). In the 1990s, it tried again with the Opel brand, and that too faltered. Hooray for us car purchasers, as Opels/ Vauxhalls in the 1990s were dull looking cars. Even the Lotus Carlton didn’t make me wet my pants. It was too Q car for my liking.

Back to the Viva, the Perodua Viva; instead of the original Viva from the days of terrible British engineering. This is the replacement for the Kelisa, which was first launched in 2000 and also the Kancil, which was first launched when Perodua was still in its diapers, sometime in 1995. From what I gather, it is a car with pretty good build quality and has a lot of space compared to its predecessor, the Kancil. In fact, the materials used by Perodua is so much better than even a Proton Gen-2 or Satria Neo which are cars from a grade higher than the market segment which the Viva is targeting. This is a feel good factor and is actually what Malaysians want; space and quality at a very reasonable price. I have to repeat that Malaysians do not really care if their car has handling like Lotus but just want to load things that they buy from Ikea into their cars. This is the reason cars like this new Viva and the earlier Perodua Myvi will succeed in selling by the thousands. I have sat in the 1000cc Viva full option and the seating position is nice (no silly Satria Neo screwups), the steering is light, the switches and controls very tactile and the quality in fittings is purely Daihatsu. These are good things. Looking at the size, it is as long as a Myvi as even with me pulling the seat to my desired driving position, there is still lots of space for the rear passenger. The boot also is an improvement over both the Kelisa and the Kancil although not by much but the seats fold down to make lots of space. Imagine a Myvi that is slightly lower and 10cm narrower and you have the Viva. I think, it may not be as nippy as the Kelisa due to its size, but at this price, space and comfort takes priority. And if you’re into tuning cars, you’d know that you can make any car handle pretty decent if you have some money to throw into the car.

On another note, I am looking forward to test driving the smallest Viva of them all, the 660cc manual. Why you might ask? The reason is pretty simple. It REVS TO 8,000 RPM! The 850cc and 1000cc models may have more power but they only redline at 6500rpm. This is pretty normal and what we motorheads would like is to occasionally drive a car with redlines closer to motorcycle redlines. Imagine driving this silly small car all the way to 8,000rpm and trying to keep the revs high, maintain momentum and just trying a windy mountain road in a small compact car. It would be like having a diluted experience of driving a small Italian Fiat 500, 600 Abarth through a mountain road. Imagine a mini Viva race series limited to the 660cc Vivas. It would be like a dozen angry mosquitos tearing down Sepang. It would be a race series that would be cheap to run yet pretty technical. It would be glorious, just Glorious. This Viva could be really live up to its namesake this time around.

Expensive Gym Memberships, Mazda 3, NAZA Sportivo version cars and memories of driving a van

How about enrolling yourself in a gym like Fitness First or Celebrity Fitness? It costs a bomb in fees every month and you get to rub shoulders with other pretentious people who usually go to these places to be seen instead of really working out. The people waste money on enrolling themselves in expensive gyms yet only use the shower, changing room and the juice bar instead of pummelling their bodies on the funny exercise contraptions. Some of them even live in apartments with gym facilities yet choose to be seen with other sweaty people. They already pay for the facilities in their apartment, yet pay more for facilities elsewhere. Some of them are not fat, but choose these places as excuses to meet people or to feel good about themselves but flaunting their skinny bodies to those who just enrolled and are really fat. Imagine how the fat newbie feels? I on the other hand refuse to pay any sort of money to keep in shape. Maybe that is the reason I am a fat pudgy man. But I do know the real secret of losing weight; and the secret is don’t eat anything for weeks, or months. For example, look at the starving Ethiopians, with skin and bones and flesh all wasting away. Their secret to looking absolutely fabulously thin is basically not eating and has nothing to do with going to any gym. So if you intend to be slim, just do what the Ethiopians do, don’t eat. However, I think I prefer bread, eggs and cheese instead of swallowing sand.

Joining an upscale gym isn’t the way to be healthy or not fat. It is just a way of showing other people that you have a healthy lifestyle or telling people that you can afford paying ridiculous amounts of money for a lifestyle that one does not actually practice. It’s like those people who are smart, or in this case stupid enough to buy huge 4x4 vehicles yet never spend a minute offroad. These are those who will buy Ford Rangers and never carry anything with it. These are those people who buy Toyota Hilux and bolt on 22inch rims and tires and make the nice purpose built 4x4 have no actual purpose at all except look ‘bling’. Why buy a 4x4 like a CRV when it can never go off road or even go on picnics, mountain biking, white water rafting or hiking like what the advertisements on these kinds of vehicles suggest? What is the point of buying something if you do not use it for the purpose it was built for? You might as well as buy a Ferrari 430 and let your 89 year old grandmother drive it for her weekly trip to play Bingo somewhere. It’s like asking Jean Luc Picard to use the U.S.S. Enterprise’s phasers to carve a block of wood into a cube instead of using them to knock out a Borg cube that’s attacking Earth. Then again, resistance is futile, people who think they’re all about a certain lifestyle would be conned over and over again into buying large 4x4s and use it to drive into their reserved parking lots somewhere in downtown Kuala Lumpur.

A practical car for Kuala Lumpur would be something comfortable yet reasonably sized for city traffic. So the other day I went to the NAZA showroom to help a few family members pick up a reasonably priced car for them. I chose to go to NAZA because they were Mazda dealers and had the Mazda 3 (pic on the right) on display. Currently, the Mazda 3 1.6 auto Sedan is on offer at RM99,500.00 or thereabouts. At this price, it is the best car under RM100,000.00 to own in Malaysia based on the criteria of price, looks, quality and rarity.

For the price of slightly lower than RM100k, you get a very sporty looking car, great Japanese build quality and technology as well as the rarity factor due to all straightlaced, normal individuals conforming and buying Toyota Vios’, Honda Civics and Citys, various Kia vehicles and those crude Toyota Avanzas. The Mazda has a great driving position of which everything falls into easy reach and place; with tactile knobs and turn signals. The tactile feel of the knobs and switches was actually better than the tactile feel of its bigger brother the Mazda 6, which is actually one reason why anyone should buy a newer designed car compared to a bigger, but slightly older car. It feels so much sportier than its competitor, the Honda Civic. It is of course not as huge as the Civic but I think the Civic is too huge to be actually called a Civic. It should be called the Accord. Compared to the 4^th Generation Civic, it’s a Honda Legend. The size is actually why owning a Mazda 3 is actually more viable than owning a Civic in Kuala Lumpur. All the Mazda 3 needs in its standard 1.6 litre form are larger rims. The stock 15in are too small for the car and it looks dumpy. It needs rims from the 2.0, which are 17inches in diameter. The materials used in the Mazda 3 are of better quality than your average Korean or Malaysian car. In fact, I’d rate it close to its European cousin, the Ford Focus in build quality as well as its handling. But being Japanese, I would suppose the cost of maintaining it won’t be as high as owning a Ford. I also have to mention that the Mazda is a CBU or fully imported unit from Japan as a plus point. This is currently my favourite small sized family saloon (circa 1.6-2.0 category) made available locally because of the points stated above.

While we are on NAZA, do not buy any NAZA Sportivo version of the 206 Bestari. Its carbon fibre look panelling interior looks like it came from the world’s worst plastic manufacturer. The carbon look plastic feels cheap and its carbon weave pattern is absolutely horrendous. Even a person with a spray can would be able to paint carbon weave better than the plastic manufacturer who did that panelling. Even a baboon at the local zoo if given a paintbrush and the colour black and grey will be able to get the carbon look right. This was so wrong I cringed. The 206 is French, meaning that while the carbon panelling was like duck food, the plastics in the whole car also felt like brittle plastic containers sold in the 1970s. the 206 looks good, but after the interior of the Mazda 3, its doorhandles felt like wafer biscuits instead of sturdy plastics. It felt like the cream cracker that you hold in your hand and if you use a bit more force would flake and crumble in your hands.

Do not also buy the NAZA Sutera Sportivo just because it has the same el-cheapo plastic panelling and MOMO equipped steering, gear knob and pedals. The driving position is awful. It you were ever the owner or either a Catering firm or a Nasi Ayam stall owner who once owned a Nissan C20 Vanette and wanted to relive the ‘good ol’ days’ where you had toiled hard, please go ahead and buy this car. It has a driving position which is exactly like a Van, a commercial one at that. That says it all.

So if you want to buy a car and feel good about it and be different from the other regular people. Buy a Mazda 3, don’t waste your money on stupid 4X4s or expensive gyms.