Recently I have been spreading my belief on the uselessness of MPV ownership to a few friends and acquaintances. I’ve been telling them that those who buy an MPV yet only use its large volume of carry space once every Hari Raya or school holidays are actually people who are killing the environment more than those of us who drive tuned cars. If you have been following my blog for some time, you’d know that I have something against these vehicles. Now another reason for why I don’t like MPVs is that they actually cost more to manufacture in terms of energy. Imagine this; a Toyota Wish has 8 large glass panels and a sunroof, which is a lot of extra glass area that costs more than the energy used to power a lightbulb or three for a few days.
A normal 4 door car would have less glass panels and basically cost slightly cheaper than a MPV. They are larger than a normal family car which means that the energy expanded to fabricate a MPV chassis is at least 50% more than a normal car. Hence, these vehicles actually take up more of earth’s valuable resources than is needed.They also take up so much more space (up to ½ a car extra) on the roads than a normal car and is not used for anything other than transporting the driver to and from his office in downtown Kuala Lumpur. This has got to stop. Malaysia should ban all MPVs that are large and cumbersome or legislate some sort of laws that allows the JPJ to evaluate the need of an individual to purchase such a form of transport. Basically JPJ should allow those who actually have 1 wife, 4 kids and a maid as well as 2 cats or a dog before they are allowed to buy such a large vehicle. Then upon buying such a vehicle, the MPV has sensors on the passenger seats which will immobilise the engine if there are less than 3 people aside from the driver in the MPV.
Some may think that I am just being mean here, but actually very practical. Those with small Peroduas would actually enjoy not being bullied by these MPVs and not be forced on the road by them. Space for normal cars owned by people like me would have their front view free and not blocked by a humongous MPV. The overtaking lane will not be hogged by small cc MPVs which think they have enough power and speed to maintain their right to hold up all traffic at 110km/h. Every other car owner would actually rejoice, throw parties and kenduris to mark such a occasion.
SUVs also have a certain image that is all wrong in my book simply for the fact that no one uses them for its actual lifestyle. You see advertisements showing you how tough the Subaru Forrester is, how versatile the Perodua Kembara is and how space efficient yet off-road able the Volkswagen Tourag is yet no one actually takes these vehicles off road or carry mountain bikes in them. What they are used for is like any other car. I know of one real purpose you should buy an urban SUV. You buy it so that you can park on the curb and if you don’t do so, please SELL your SUV for a decent car. If your Toyota Harrier SUV costs RM150,000.00, buy a Camry. If you buy a RM800,000.00 Porsche Cayenne, have a driver pick you up at the office and send you home, buy the latest Mercedes S-Class. Don’t buy that Porsche. You should be buying a 2 door Porsche 911 Carrera.
But the reason I don’t hate SUVs so much is that they are not as dull looking as a MPV. You will never look as though you are a man with 4 children and a wife or two if you park your SUV (especially some Porsche Cayenne, a Mitsubishi Airtrek Turbo or an Audi Q7) in front of a hip bistro in Sri Hartamas or Bangsar. You are never going to be hip and cool even if you’re dressed in Armani and wearing Ferragamo loafers if you’ve stepped out of a Toyota Unser. Heck, even if you did step out of a Toyota Alphard, the girls would know that you’re married or a family man and don’t own or have a Lancer Evo or a Ferrari that you can take out to the bistro for the night out. And that, ladies and gentlemen, means you’re very unavailable to the opposite sex, hence uncool. Feel free to say otherwise, but if you don’t agree with me, you most probably are an MPV owner.
However, there is one car that actually is on the verge of becoming a cult classic everywhere throughout the world even though it started out as one of the most brick like cars in the world. This car was the car that told everyone that you have somewhat made it in life but you are the most boring person on the face of this earth. The Volvo 240 series. This was the car most Malaysian government servants were bought when they reached a certain position in the 1970s and 1980s. This was the car most family men bought thinking that it was the safest car in the world for their wife and kids. This was the car that was the family carrier before MPVs were popular. This was the car that was in production from 1974 till 1993, an amazing 19 years for a brick. Even to this day, go to any neighbourhood in Kuala Lumpur, you’d see one of these on most streets. People are still driving them around.
Volvo had hit the jackpot with this car as its marketing people did wonders and promoted it as The Safest Car in the World. I suppose it was, at the time, with its big bumpers front and rear and it looked like it was made out of an old iron safe. It looked big and bulky but it actually wasn’t. Not many realised that the almost as square but less bulky looking Mercedes Benz 200 W123 series of the same vintage weighed a good 80-100kg heavier than the normal Volvo 240GL at the time, 1390kg for the Mercedes and a dainty 1270kg for the Volvo. Now you may think that 1270kg is heavy but it actually isn’t as a full spec Proton persona of today with ABS, Airbags and all round disc brakes comes in at 1240kg. This is actually the norm for most cars after the year 1999. While the Volvo was heavy in its time, it’s like a small family sedan nowadays. And the Mercedes W123 is actually the heavier car.
Now the 240 was actually based on the 1967-1973/4 Volvo 144 which basically looks like a 240 with a flat nose. The 240 was actually a 144 with a redesigned front subframe/cross member that came from the Volvo Safety Vehicle concept car of the early 1970s. It had newly designed (at the time) impact absorbing crumple zones at the front but was basically the same 144 series car from the A-Pillar downwards. I suppose in the 1970s it was enough. Imagine the Sveedish engineer saying this to the management:
“Ya, ve have redesigned de front end of der car to enable safer crashes.”
“Now Olaf, Vat about der rear?”
“Vat rear?”
“The rear of the car you fool.”
“Oh, that. I don’t think ve would be travelling more than 10km/h in reverse gear so it is not necessary.”
Try doing this nowadays, and a car manufacturer would be sued for not providing adequate safety for its vehicles. Anyway, the 240series was actually not as safe as it seems, as if you bought one in, say 1989, you’d have bought a car designed in the mid 1960s, first produced in the mid to late 1960s, redesigned front end in the early 1970s, produced with the new front end from the mid 1970s till 1993. How actually safe would the car be if it hit a newer car with a near 3star Euro NCAP rating like the Proton Waja (with Airbags etc.)? Or imagine getting hit in the rear of the Volvo by a Waja and see if the worlds safest car (of the 1970s), which rear end was designed in the 1960s stand up against a late 1990s designed Malaysian car. I am unsure whether the Volvo with its safety conscious image would safely cosset its passengers in such a crash. But it basically showed that with proper marketing, everything is possible.
But let’s move on, the 240 series Volvo is slowly gaining momentum as a cult classic due to its square looks and somehow people like the nostalgia it provides; making them remember their good ol’ days. It takes people back to a time where things were simple and Ikea wasn’t the only happening Swedish thing on the block. Saab was too quirky to be accepted like the Volvo and it still has that aura about it (Saabs).
The Volvo 240 is also reliable and easy to maintain. It has no obvious overheating issues as no one has ever heard of a Volvo suffering in the Malaysian weather and traffic. It is also surprisingly cheap to repair with only the cosmetic trimmings being a little costly. But imagine this, a pair of shocks for the Volvo would only set you back RM150 each. That’s the same as the price you pay for a Proton Wira shock. Some parts may be RM20-40 more than a Proton, which won’t break your bank. What’s even more shocking is the price you can get a decent 240, going all the way from RM1,800 to somewhere around RM13,000 for a late model 1993/4 240 classic edition. You get a lot of car for so little money. Maybe why so many people are still driving them is because they paid so much and now it costs so little that getting rid of it would be even worse!
Now how does it drive? Actually a stock 240 drives like a boat. It looks large due to its long bonnet and lots of overhang up front and rear. The ride is very European in feel (somewhat firm) but comfortable, but as its ground clearance is pretty high, it tends to sway a lot at speed as the firmness isn’t helped by the height as well as comfort tuned springs and dampers. The comfort is helped by its throne like seats that are fit for the King and Queen of Sweden. Its upright stance helps the commanding view that you will see from the dashboard outwards. The large 4 spoke steering wheel is slightly slow for spirited driving but assists the driver in manoeuvres around town. There is some feedback and feel from this wheel and being Rear Wheel Drive, you have steering uncorrupted by the power from the engine. Not that you’d feel any real power as even the 2.3litre engine has a compression ratio of only 8.1:1 or something like that. The turbo version of this may have a little more go, but not by much as the turbo is a light pressure version of which you would need to boost it up a little for more verve. Yes, you can throw this large Swedish meatball around bends, but it may be scary due to the height of your seating position and the smallish 14in rims on balloon like 70series tires that come standard to the car. One other addition to the experience is the way the fan sounds where a 240 passes by, you’d know from the way the cooling fans as no other has one as loud as this car.
Why should you buy a 240 as a future classic or keep maintaining that 240 your dad used to drive that is no longer as safe as its supposed to be and as pretty as a barn? It has character, by the buckets, as most cars nowadays are round organic looking thingies and hardly square. They would also remind you of the good ol’ days where you were young and times were simple. Look at the 240, it was designed in simpler times and it shows in the shape. It is all function before form and yet, it endearing.
Why should you want to buy one if your dad didn’t own one or you have never liked Volvos in the first place? Character by the buckets is the first, and secondly, it’s the cheapest, most reliable European Rear Wheel Drive car you can buy with your monthly freshly graduated executive’s salary. What better way to learn about driving than owning a traditional Rear Wheel Drive car? You can drift the darn thing if you have enough space to do so. You can practise without fear as even if you crash a RM1,800.00 Volvo, you can buy another one and do the same thing over again! What is better that this? Or imagine this, RM1,800 buys you a car with racing pedigree.
The 240 competed in the European Touring Car Championship (winning once) as well as competition in the United States and Australia (Winning the Australian Touring Car series in 1986). It was surprisingly competitive for a boxy car and was at its time revered as much as the newer Volvo 850 station wagon that competed in the British Touring Car Championships in the early 1990s. In fact, I’m even thinking of investing in one; if I suddenly have about RM5,000 in spare change (and if my wife lets me go ahead with this scheme), RM2,000 for the 240 and RM3,000 will be going for trackday fees at Sepang as well as tires and some maintenance issues. I shall be stripping the car of its soundproofing, plastic parts, rear seats, front passenger seat, get lowering springs and that’s it. I’m going cheap Continental car driving. The brick may not be fast, but imagine the look on people’s faces when or if you complete a lap or two round Sepang on open track days.
Every man should dream of doing something cheap but outrageous. This is my dream (or one of my dreams that is).
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