This Has Got To Be The Most Awesome Proton Sales Advert Blurb Ever On Mudah

This was spotted by both my pal Firdaus and I recently and has got to be either the most awesome car sales ad eve pitched or the most psychotic. It would help if you can understand and read Malay as it is seriously awsome. 

The salesman addresses potential customers as  'Chor' which means elder brother in the 'loghat utara' or north Malay slang. He also wants us Chors to be happy even after getting a lashing from your bosses as he just got one too. 

According to him he is an authorised sales representative. And expert up to the levels of an Avatar or a Bumiputra Rocker which is important as he, Ahmad as he is supposed to be called has 105 years of experience. 105 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE? If he started work at 20 he would be about 120 years old. Err........He must be immortal and cannae die.

He is based in the Klang Valley according to the ad. But even if you are hundreds of kilometers away in Pahang or even further in Kelantan he can do so as he is an avatar from the heavens. THIS IS AHMAD LA!!!!!

He then proceeds with telling you to read the advertisement. According to Ahmad, if you use the Proton Satria Neo mentioned herein your neighbours will be disappointed, they will be crying, the village folks will see and be proud. Office mates will be all teary eyed. All for a Satria Neo?

He then states that he can speak Bota Kiri, Swedish, English, Hailam Kopitiam, Nan Yang Siang Pau, Sin Chew Jit Poh? WTF is Hailam Kopitiam, Nan Yang Siang Pau and Sin Chew Jit Poh? The first means a traditional Hailam Coffee Shop and the next two are Chinese daily newspapers. The only thing Swedish that Ahmad would know is meatballs from Ikea. The only thing you can truly believe here is that he speaks Bota. Botarians be proud.

Then on the specs:-

"-1.6 CPS Engine 145hp, BOLE DRIFT SIAP KONA BARING YOB...EHHEHEHE.."

Fuiyoh!!!! The 145hp Front Wheel Drive Satria Neo can do a drift.......and then do something Malaysians like to use 'konabaring' term for a corner taken extremely flat.

"- Sleek bodylines & aerodynamic shaping, BOLEH TERBANG.."

Would you want your Satria Neo to fly with all that supposed downforce?

"- R3 leather seat , KULIT SELADANG TUAN, BARU GARANG...TAKUT ORANG LAIN NENGOK.."

This is truly marketing taken to the extreme and ridiculous. Cow leather is not buffalo leather, which is what a seladang is. Ahmad also states that with buffalo leather the car is aggressive and people would be afraid to look at the car. Again. Fuiyoh!!!!!!! And WTF???? Really????

Oh, he also states that the car's reverse camera is a DSLR. So fantastic a resolution for a reverse camera? ....Again...WTF???? Mindblowing.

Go ahead, I dare any of you to contact Ahmad. His number's stated below!

The ad details in full below... and the link here (while it lasts)

NEO R3 S2000 MANUAL LESS N GIFT RM 5XXX
AKUM...SALAM sejahtera

SEBELUM TU, MUKA JGN KETAT CHOR, SENYUM SIKIT, CERIA2 SIKIT, TAHULAH KENA MARAH DGN BOS TDI CHA....AKU BARU TADI LEPAS......HAHAHAHAH

Sayalah wakil yang SAH (PAKAR TAHAP WALI2 - bumiptra rockers...PENTING TU...) dalam menguruskan penjualan kereta baru PROTON, PENGALAMAN 105 TAWUN..

ANDA DI PAHANG, KELANTAN, PERAK? CALL JE CHOR, KAMI BOLEH URUSKAN....INI AHMAD LA CHOR.....TAHAP WALI2 BRADER...

senang cakap, da betol da iklan yg dipilih ni,
baca iklan ni dulu.....lepas tu masuk tangan dalam
poket,bukan ambil duit,
tapi ambil h/fon
call terus no fon saya..hehehehehe

U PAKAI KERETA NI, KECEWA JIRAN SEBELAH, MENITIK AIRMATA DIORANG.....ORANG KAMPUNG NENGOK, BANGGA BRO...BETUL....TERKULAT2 OFIS MATE...HAHAHAHAHAHA...

ABLE TO SPEAK BOTA KIRI,SWEEDEN, HAILAM KOPITIAM, BAHASA, ENGLISH, NAN YANG SIANG PAU, SIN CHEW JIT POH...

Spec:
-1.6 CPS Engine 145hp, BOLE DRIFT SIAP KONA BARING YOB...EHHEHEHE..
- Sleek bodylines & aerodynamic shaping, BOLEH TERBANG..
- R3 leather seat , KULIT SELADANG TUAN, BARU GARANG...TAKUT ORANG LAIN NENGOK..

- Exclusive R3 front N REAR splitter spoiler
- 16 incH R3 rims,titanium side moldings
145bhp@7,000rpm
- 2 Din MULTIMEDIA PLAYER W GPS

- R3 Front & rear marks

PRICE RM 61,000

ON THE ROAD PRICE...RM 63,800, BELUM TERMASUK DISKAUN LAGI CHOR...

BULANAN:

9 Tahun: RM 730 MTHLY je cho..RM 0 D/PMNT FULL LOAN 100%
kalau byr 10%, bulanan 658 je..
Int DARI 2.0% , INTEREST TERENDAH, KAT MALAYSIA NI SAYA SORANG JE BOLEH BGI..HEHEHEHE

SKIM GRADUAN, SKIM PENGANGGUR SEMUA ADA, CALL JE..HEHEHEH

LESS N GIFT RM 5XXX, DETAILS INFO ABOUT LESS AND OTHERS, PLIZ CALL

T N GO ,SMART TAG AMIK la ye..kita dah rupa ADIK BERADIK.....apa ada hal..
FULL TANK minyak penuh
steering lock
tinted voucher rm 400 X 3
sand blasting NO ETCHING
AIRCOND RUMAH 1HP
TV 32 INCHI..
FREE TOWING SERVICE
HD DVR CAMCODER 3GP, BOLE REKOD TU...
REVERSE CAMERA DSLR HD NIGHT VERSION BOLE NAMPAK HANTU BRO..
GPS NAVIGATOR
bodykit skirting
FREE PA INSURANCE 50K
5% LESS INSURANCE RENEWAL EVERY YEAR
AKU PUN TAK TAHU NAK BAGI APA DAH...HAHAHAHAHHAHAH...
BOLEH CERITA LAGI TUAN..
CONFIRM TAK NYESAL..BETUL CHOR, KITA BAGI JADI JE JON...APA ADA HAL...

DOKUMEN :
dokumen bole e mail, faks, post ke...jmpa pun bole..
Photostat IC
Lesen Memandu
3 Bulan Slip Gaji 
3 Bulan Penyata Bank 

u dapat kereta..heppy...i belanja TEH TARIK..OK, MAI SECHAWAN..

HUBUNGI@SMS:..jgn segan2 ye.. kita bagi jadi je kali ni cha...

Ahmad...24 jam, PAKAR PROTON ANDA ( TAHAP WALI2 BRADER)
H/P:019- 2511 409
Email: ahmadauto2020@gmail.com
TERLAJAK LARIS..

WATS APPS, WEE CHAT... 016 3333 676

Location: KL & SEL & 1 malays

source:mudah.my