Some Things That I Have Learnt.

I’ve learnt a few things recently that I wish to share with all of you readers out there. I learnt these things from a recent trip to Butterworth which is located in the state of Pulau Pinang a couple of weeks ago.

1. A mid-morning run at speeds above 155km/h on the North-South Highway during a dry spell leads to a ridiculous amount of tire wear. I had a set of rears that were 85% worn. I honestly thought that they would last till the trip back to KL. Unfortunately, by the time I reached Bukit Merah, there was no sign left of the ‘V’ groove thread pattern left on the rears. It was completely bald. I had to get a new pair of tires in Butterworth when I got there.

The moral of this story is that change tires before you go someplace far.

2. Your car may have a large fuel tank. But at speeds above the century, it needs a larger tank. I have a 50 liter tank in my Impreza and for a trip that has speeds averaging a century, petrol freely drains out. ¼ tank was left before I reached Cangkat Jering, nearby Taiping with another 45 minutes or so of driving to do before Butterworth.

The moral of this story is that you should either get a car with a larger tank or drive slowly or don’t bother and just stop when you feel like it and reach someplace faster than taking a flight.

3. Your bladder may not be as large as you wanted it to be. It was during this trip that I found out that some bladders last longer than most. I had to have a ‘pit-stop’ to alleviate this problem.

The moral of this story is that you and your car may be able to make Butterworth in less than 3 hours. But your occupants cannot.

4. Fat people look fatter wearing crocs on their feet.

There was this 30 something couple which I happened to observe at the Gunung Semanggol rest area (somewhere near Bukit Merah). They were decently dressed in the national dress. The man was wearing the Baju Kurung Melayu and songkok and his wife was wearing the baju kurung with her hair done up in a bun. Both looked immaculate in pink and were slightly on the plus size. They looked immaculate until I came upon their feet, which were housed in a pair of crocs each.

Why do some people spoilt their silhouette but putting on chunky looking footwear when they are CHUNKY themselves? It somehow makes a round ball look even rounder if there ever was such a thing. This guy and his wife looked even rounder than he ever was. He also spoilt his whole Baju Melayu look as he would look like an overweight Hang Tuah wearing the ‘chapal’ instead of looking like Bozo The Clown. Yes, that was what the guy looked in my eyes. A BIG FAT CLOWN.

Look, CROCS are extremely chunky. They SEEM comfortable but they do not give you any real support as the rubber squishes when you put pressure on them. They don’t keep your spine aligned properly and if you are a motorhead, they are too chunky to be proper driving shoes. You can never properly heel and toe or even left foot brake in those clown shoes. Spend money, buy some proper Italian loafers with a driving sole (the one that has a sole curves all the way to the top of your heel). Tod’s driving shoes come to mind or even the PUMA speedcat series. Heck, or buy some cheap BATA driving mocs. I will respect you better than wearing fat Crocs on your way to a wedding up North. I shudder at the thought that the couple was driving to a wedding all done up in formal/national wear and wearing Crocs to attend that wedding. It made them look so underdressed. It’s like going to a black-tie function in a pair of sneakers. Also, FAT people shouldn’t wear fat looking shoes. Period. You can find comfort while looking good okay.

I once bought a pair of imitation CROCS that cost me RM10.00. That is as much money as I would spend for a chunky pair of clown slippers. I wear them when I have to walk to the garbage disposal room to throw garbage and even then I think I look crappy in them. Cheaper flip-flops look better on me.

The moral of the story is that if you are fat, for the love of God stay away from CROCS.

http://ihatecrocs.com

Image of crocs: courtesy of : maddox.xmission.com

If the fat guy in the painting wore crocs that were pink in colour, he would certainly be one ugly fat clown.

Desire has a New Name: The Terengganu EXCO Members desire some luxury in their lives

Terengganu decides to opt for the Mercedes Benz E200K over the Proton Perdana V6. The newspapers decide to comment on this which led to a supposedly outcry of misuse of government funds. The reason, according to the person in charge was that it costs a ridiculous amount of money to maintain a 4 year old Perdana. I somehow admit that the figure of RM174,000.00+ for a single over a 4 year period is ridiculous but unsurprisingly as I believe that the government is being short-changed by their contractors yet again. I know Perdanas are slightly expensive to maintain as company cars, but an average figure of RM43,750.00 per year over 4 years is astounding.

Nevertheless, it could happen as if we factor in the contractors billing the government for using ‘brand new’ spare parts such a thing could happen. I have in the last decade inquired a brand new automatic gearbox from Proton for a friend’s 3 speed automatic and the figure that came back to me was an incredible RM20,000.00. RM20,000.00 for an outdated piece of gear changing device. Needless to say, my friend opted for a second hand item that only cost him RM1,200.00 inclusive of labour at that point of time. Imagine what Proton or the government contractors would want to charge for a ‘brand new’ Perdana gearbox then?

Now imagine the Terengganu State Government Perdanas having a slightly strenuous work load. These cars are driven by drivers who basically have no care in the world about avoiding potholes on the road, keeping the engines running for long hours while being stationary, hardly any warmup period for the gearbox and engine before starting and driving off and other abusive driving styles that most staff drivers and company/government pool car users utilise.

You then have to know that the Perdana V6 has always had gearbox problems ever since it first came out. It was only during the latest round of facelifts that the car was given its own dedicated transmission fluid cooler for the gearbox and even then, we have still heard the gearbox dying. I have an acquaintance or two which are car enthusiasts who drive the Perdana V6 and both have had at least 2 gearbox changes on their ride to date. Both, after their second autobox decided to convert to the Mitsubishi 5 speed manual and have been happy campers ever since. Some are lucky, but their cars are hardly abused or neglected and they keep to their rigid maintenance schedule when it comes to servicing the car. But do you think that the State Government cars are maintained as religiously as they are supposed to be? I doubt so.

So the Terengganu Government bought some Mercedes Benzes to replace the Perdana V6s. I suppose some patriotic people are arguing that this is wrong and we should support our national product. These group of people should realise that even being patriotic or nationalistic should be up to a point of being realistic and not just being full of blind pride. The Perdana is a bloody OLD car, get it? It has been around since 1995 and has only been facelifted more times than Joan Collins has been under the scalpel. It is one of those cars that should have been put to sleep at the very least 3 years ago. This supposedly middle executive car is no longer refined as what a middle executive car should have been. You take a look at the current benchmark of a small family sedan, the Honda Civic and you can tell that refinement, performance and everything has moved a notch higher than the Perdana which is supposedly a Honda Accord competitor. I won’t even compare the Perdana with the Accord as it’s that pathetic. Proton should have a replacement for this model soon and this is an order from me, not a statement.

There is another group who is arguing that Terengganu shoudn’t be spending so much of their money in times of political and economic turmoil. If they wanted to replace the Perdanas they should not buy luxury cars. The problem with the State Secretary’s explaination is that he is saying that the State is not using the funds that are from the oil revenue that the State receives but from its normal allocation / collection. Look, is he saying that if the State were to utilise the oil revenue they would be buying Rolls Royce Phantoms for each of the State’s EXCO members and legal advisors and so forth? Somehow, in times where the ruling coalition, i.e. Barisan Nasional is getting hit left, right and centre on everything that they do, they should be buying sensible cars. This isn’t the time for them to be rewarding themselves. This is the time to prove their worth till the next general elections. Spending money like this is another dumb move.

The move which they should have done is buy the Toyota Camry. This car is assembled locally and everyone knows that this decent unclemobile is a good, sensible car to buy and maintain and it only costs RM150,000.00 with taxes. The price could be a sensible RM100,000.00 or below without tax. Toyotas almost never break down. But noooooooo, they are thinking with their egos and desires. Desire has a new name and it ain’t the Satria Neo. It’s the Terengganu State Government EXCO members!

The New Audi A4 1.8 TFSi and Where You Can Get Free Food on Sunday

The business of selling luxury cars has hit a new high (or low). The reason I am saying this is that I was at the Audi hanger recently to have a look at the new Audi A4 1.8 TFSi and there were chicken drummets & wings, fried bihun, 2 types of sandwiches and some chicken balls. The food was fantastic even though I had lunch about an hour back. Well, sometimes you have to sacrifice a little to eat a little more.

Anyway, in walked a guy in his mid-forties with his family in tow. He Was greeted by a sales person who knew him and ushered him to the refreshments while he waited for his test drive of the new Audi. He was overheard saying to the sales man “Wah, only this ah?” He exclaimed as he sauntered to get a plate to get his fill of the smallish buffet spread I mentioned above. The sales person waited for his comment which was “Lexus got mini Lamb Chops you know?”

Now this had got me thinking. I can actually beat recession! Why I said this was that I also knew that Auto Bavaria serves up food on certain Sunday for test drive sessions and now I know that Lamb Chops were being served at Lexus I shall have one stop every Sunday at a luxury car sales centre with my family in tow for a “Test drive” of their finest cars. This coming weekend I shall be served with ‘luxury’ at Lexus in Mutiara Damansara, the next weekend I shall ‘test drive’ the ‘ultimate driving machine at Auto Bavaria and then I shall test drive a Mercedes and hope I get at least a cup of Latte and some sandwiches there. I plan on bringing the family so that we can ‘Test drive’ the finest cars as well as sample ‘luxury’ according to Lexus. I plan to rotate this list every few months as BMW, Mercedes has around 4 showrooms around Klang Valley for this (IF they all serve food that is!) Or to put it bluntly, I wanna go eat some free lamb chops at some luxo-barge showroom. Marketing has its benefits for the layman if you know what I mean.

The Audi A4 1.8 TFSi? It is so much better than the previous Audi A4 which I tested awhile back. This 1.8 version comes with an 8speed CVT gearbox that has hardly any CVT like lag and ample power to activate the ESP on a slightly damp road. The handling of this car is just right for most drivers. i.e. pointy and the tail is obedient, even in the wet. Now you may say that it is a little dull, but it isn’t. This is the first Audi in a long time that behaves differently from most Audis. There is no, or very little sign of it being nose heavy like its predecessors. It is a sporty car.

It took Audi 12 million years to finally agree with everyone alive that having a tall 4,6,8 cylinder engine set up high in front of the front axle does not do wonders to the handling. They have finally decided to reengineer the gearbox to have a more forward front axle placement and better steering feel. The car does not drive like you were sitting just slightly behind an arrow’s head in flight. You actually have a car in which does not fight the laws of physics like the old one does all the time. You see, the older A4 feels nose heavy and feels it, this one does not. It feels like you’re driving a new Front Wheel Drive car with a normally adapted transverse engine instead of a longitudely placed one.

The ride and handling is sorted. Unlike previous Audis I have driven or been in this one has dynamic and comfort damping. I prefer dynamic (the slightly firmer setup) over comfort as this is just totally fun compared to comfort, which will please a lot of older (and duller) drivers out there. The damping on both settings are so much better than the earlier ones which seems to be undamped (or oversprung) depending on what schools of thought you believe in. The older B7 Audis have a choppy ride due to the over aggressive rebound over bumps which I didn’t actually like.

The 8 Speed CVT gearbox is a charm to use as I noted as I sat beside my friend who tested it at the Kiara stretch was nicely geared for sprinting. It actually was geared high enough to feel punchy and was never at any time out of breath. The 160ps that the engine pumped out was more than adequate to take on and win against an older 2.0 liter Alfa 156 in a mid-range dash at that stretch of road. This new tech works!

Yes the car is larger than the previous model and has better rear legroom also. Materials used is up to par and if you were to compare between the 3 series, the C-class and the Audi, you’d choose between the Audi and the C-Class and throw the 3 Series cabin material quality taxi like compared to the two. On the exterior of the car I'd have to say that it is a successful abeit slightly fussy interpretation of the Audi school of design. However, the stance of the car, i.e how the car sits is amazing. From the front with the driving lights lighted up it looks like an R8 and from the rear three quarter, it looks fantastically swoopy. However, it has lost some of the clean lines of the previous B7 model and from the A6. But this look will attract people and that's what Audi wants I suppose.

The Audi is priced at RM235,000.00+, the Mercedes C200 Kompressor at RM248,000.00+ and the BMW320i Sport at RM245,000.00+. Would I buy the Audi over the BMW? Yes I would as the 3Series is an ugly over-designed car with bad material quality and stupidly expensive run flat tires that hurt the ride comfort coupled with a so-so engine and drivetrain (but great steering and handling). Would I buy it over the Mercedes? I would since it costs RM10,000.00+ cheaper and comes with more goodies like the MMI Multi Media Interface screen and controls, dynamic drive controls (ONLY in a C230 model at RM300K) and a lag free CVT box with 8 gears instead of 5 in the C 200K (But if they ever used the 7speed g-tronic then the outcome here may change). However I would not second rate it for interior quality (even though its assembled locally over the imported Audi) and its RWD chassis for that extra RWD thrills. I do not rate or care about that extra 5-10% in steering feel and handling that the BMW or Mercedes has as heck, most normal drivers won’t even notice the difference which wheels are been driven by the engine. If they do they’re just being anal about things.

But I think the best is, go get free food or coffee from these people. Your stomach won’t regret it and neither will your wallet.

My Car Can Run On 92ron....Can yours? A Revelation.

Guess what? I've recently been using regular 92ron petrol on my Subaru! Isn't that blasphemous using 'cheap' fuel on such a car? Well firstly the vehicle manual says that I can, hence I am. You see, an Impreza TS is an AWD NON-Turboed Impreza which does not need higher octane to run. The reason only reason why you need high octane most of the time is when your car runs a very high compression engine. Currently, such engines have a compression ratio of about 11:1 and above (The Impreza TS has a 10:1 compression ratio). This means cars like certain Porsche GT3s, VW's FSi engines and some Honda VTEC engines. Turbo cars have to run high octane due to the fact that when the turbo kicks in, you wouldn't want any premature detonation of fuel which would wreck the engine and the turbo. Most modern cars have an ECU with knock sensors to eliminate any pre-detonation issues. And if you have a carburettor in your car, all you need to do is go to a mechanic (who knows how to tune carbs) and get the distributor and carb set and you can safely run 92ron.

With my ride, I can feel a slight lack of power above 4,500rpm when I believe the ignition timing (which is ECU controlled) of the car retards slightly as it does not want to give its maximum due to the lower octane. But since we now pay so much for petrol I have been driving like a 'good' Muslim. So I change gears between 1,500rpm and 2,500rpm most of the time and keep the actual Schumi style driving for the weekends when I do pump 97ron petrol for a spin or two. I've calculated and I've found no extra consumption using this cheaper petrol. I can live with the slight lack of power as I can fill in 'power' when I need to.

I honestly can manage to save up to a few hundred Ringgit a year using 92ron most of the time. I usually have to spend an average of 50 liters of petrol a week. At RM2.621 I spend RM131.05. If I spend RM2.70 on 97ron I have to pay RM135.00. Now I see myself on average spending 45 out of 52 weeks on 92ron and the rest on 97 ron for thrills and outstation trips. That's RM5897.25 for 45 weeks INSTEAD of RM6075.00 for 45 weeks. That's RM177.75 worth of petrol savings compared to using 97ron. I get to enjoy this extra AND also the RM625.00 rebate which I will get when I renew the car's road tax. Somehow, I seem to be slightly less effected due to this.

For a slightly more in depth look at the myth of using cheaper petrol, visit the Ugly Chicken blog.My Pal Lee Meng over there will tell you more:

http://uglychickens.blogspot.com/2008/06/dont-waste-money-on-premium-petrol.html

On another note, the change of driving style has actually enabled me to pump as much petrol as I did before the petrol hike. I've actually managed to clock an average of 12.0-12.5km per liter compared to a low 10-10.5km per liter before this. I've actually made an impreza safe petrol! Now if you'll excuse me, I am spending this new found savings on driving to the Audi Showroom at JAYA 33 today at above average speeds to have a look at the new Audi A4 1.8T. I'll eventually write some stuff on this car soon.

What Everyone Needs is Quality of Life, Not QUANTITY of Life

Right, it’s almost July of 2008 and I have decided that it’s time I set the general populace straight. I have been having impromptu discussions with a few friends regarding the general Malaysian public on their sad, pathetic lives in general. We have basically decided that what the average Malaysian family in Peninsula Malaysia goes along this form of lifestyle that in general makes them into copies of most average families all over Malaysia. The gist of such a life is generally like this:

Enough of Petrol Increase Talk, Let's Talk About A Dull, Fast Car, the Mitsubishi 3000GT

All this talk about rising petrol prices has actually knocked everybody off balance. We are now hearing stories how families with a combined income of less than RM2,500.00 suffering and making all sorts of cost cutting. We hear stories of food prices rising due to increased transport costs. We hear people eating out less or eating less at fine dining restaurants and frequenting the mamak shop more. We are hearing a whole lot of complaints in which clearly shows that not one single person, whether rich or poor is basically happy with the way things are in Malaysia. 

An Alternative Means of Saving Petrol

Petrol it seems is in the hearts and minds of everyone I meet. It is because of the extreme increase in this commodity that everyone seems to be either a good Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Atheist or whatever religion you are practising. Everywhere I drive people are slow, in fact they are so bloody slow in changing lanes the wife, my daughter and I were nearly involved in a 'slow' accident as a VW MPV (for those of you who don't know - GTI) signalled and switch lanes following a BMW 5 Series, did not look behind as I was half a car's length from the BMW and she just came in! The worse thing was she did not accelerate. She stayed in the middle of 2 lanes and ignored the desperate horns comming from me. I mean being a slow driver is a good thing in times like this, but not at the expense of other road users. I may decide to dispense with the niceties and become the road hog i once was if things stay like this. I mean, the other day a friend of mine was hogging the overtaking lane on the Federal Highway at 70km/h and no one flashed at him, no one beeped at him, no one raise a finger at him. This is a little pathetic. The increase has gotten to everyone's head.

As a motorhead I am in a way enjoying this increase as traffic has lessened. More people are taking public transport and more people are thinking of innovative ways of travel. There are really cheap people who resort converting their Perodua Kancil to run NGV. While it's a good thing, as NGV is dirt cheap. It also shows the world that these people aren't just frugal, but extremely cheap. This sort of people would be those that take those small chilli sauce packets you get from takeaways and fill up their sauce bottles at home. Yes, it shows you're frugal, but it confirms that you're outright cheap.

I've heard of people using the LRT more these days. Yes, I've recently heard from my wife that her staff who commutes to work using the LRT that more people are using it to work in the mornings. It confirms the fact that there are less cars on the road in the morning. However, the thing is whether you can tollerate smelly armpits, roving hands (if you're a pretty woman) and pickpockets among other things as the LRT can be jam packed in the mornings. I can bet you the ministers who suggest to you that a change in your lifestyle is necessary have not taking the LRT or a Bus to work before. These people are the ones who actually never walk the talk if you know what I mean.

I mean, Mr. Why Should I Step Down, I've Got Work To Do recently announced his 10% cut to his RM18,000+ entertainment allowance. I don't even have a salary of RM18,000.00 to begin with and this person has an allowance for entertainment that much. He gets an approximately RM20,000.00 salary on top of that. He also gets other allowances on top of that too. I suppose RM1,800.00 would make him tighten his belt, buy a Perodua Viva limousine instead of a Proton Perdana Limousine to cut costs and run it using NGV. (a Perodua Viva limo - now that's a thought).

So with all of these changes happening to the motoring public, what could be do about it aside from walking more, taking the LRT,Converting your car to run on NGV, driving like Mother Theresa or staying home? You could buy a horse. Yes, buying a horse is a good idea. How about riding to work? A thoroughbred race horse that is about to be pensioned is a good choice. It may be cheap to buy and maintain unless he's a winning horse whereby his sperm could make baby racehorses hence make its purchase price expensive. Find one who's always lost, learn horseback riding (as a horse carriage would be considered as a trailer and fall under the jurisdiction of the RTD and you then need to licence it.) and trot to work. I was thinking, if I lived in a apartment, I'd park the horse at the grassy patch near the entrance of the apartment and let it graze and eat grass there. Later at night, I'd bring that horse to my apartment carpark which I've converted into a stable. I think it's a foolproof plan if you're travelling alone. The costs would be very little and you'll be kind to the environment as the only greenhouse gas the transport (horse) will produce if some methane when it farts.

1. Horse - RM6,000.00 for a pensioned horse (maybe cheaper, maybe more..ask around)
2. Saddle - RM1,000.00
3. Wood and Hammer - For the stable at your apartment car park - RM500.00
4. Broom and dustpan - to scoop up poo - RM25.00
5. Feed - RM50 per bag or less if you let your horse graze at the nearest playground.

This could be you on the way to work.

Weekly costs? Very negligible. It'll trot to work at a leisurely 15-20km/h and if you work about 20km away, you'll be there in under an hour. But if you push it, it'll think that it's in a race and really go for it and you may reach work earlier. What if you want a new model or if it breaks its leg? Well, buy a gun and shoot it like the cowboys do.

Think about it. I am only suggesting BUT can't attempt it as I got a kid to ferry around most of the time. No, I not making any excuses. Really.

Of The Fuel Price Increase and RM2.00 Pasar Malam Ramly Burgers

RM2.70 per liter. Yup, Malaysians now pay that amount for 97ron petrol and life must go on. It was inenevitable, but the way it was announced by 'Mr Why should I step down, I've got work to do' was what actually got on my nerves a bit. Firstly, the press reported that the cabinet had agreed on a new fuel pricing scheme and subsidy scheme which will be implemented as soon as the cabinet confirms and decides it on Wednesday and in August things will be clearer.

The papers in their headlines, whether this was down to bad reporting stated that things will only change in August which clearly wasn't true. Of course, not reading the whole story and reading the headlines made some people (which I will not mention) roll their eyes and made their heads spin like Linda Blair in The Exorcist after reacting to the 'sudden' price increment in petrol and diesel prices. But this is a problem with the current administration. It likes making snap changes. I mean honestly, what's a couple of million Ringgit lost if the powers that be decided to announce today and implement in 48 hours? People would be happier instead of cursing and swearing at 'the person who made the announcement' while queuing for petrol close to midnight. The last 'snap' decision he made was stating that he did not know when the General Election would be the day before it was called. I suppose he thinks the general public are not smart people and is making fun of them. And obviously, the 'snap' decision caused his party to suffer badly in that last election. If you allow 48 hours, there'll be slightly less congestion as some may fill up their tanks 12 hours earlier and stay home instead of all rushing at the same time. It's as simple as that. It does not matter if you think Malaysians like to do things last minute, but hello, some of us don't.

On another note, why bloody bother banning the refueling of foreign cars for a ridiculously short span of time and then decide otherwise? Is anyone actually thinking when they made the decision in the first place? Why? To stop subsidised fuel from being used by foreigners? Amazing as it only took a few days for the Government to decide otherwise again. Why issue directives and change it in a split second? Are we Malaysians actually sure the people running our Government know what they are doing? Why are they so fickle-minded? Why do we have to ask so many questions about people who supposedly graduated from Oxford (or from Mordor it seems)? Doesn't the Goverment practise the 'Do it right the First Time' concept of work? What I do know most Government officers are doing is the 'Out At 4.45pm or earlier' style of management. Even if they were in the office, it has been proven by decisions and indecisions like this that their grey matter have in fact left the office much earlier than their bodies.

The queues at Petrol Stations were ridiculous. I myself was pretty lucky (or supposedly lucky) as I managed to find the NKVE Shell station heading towards Kuala Lumpur did not have a long and stress filled queue at 10.00pm. However, right after filling my car to the brim with cheap RM1.92 97ron, I looked behind as I drove off and found that the queue had already begun. Some stations had to close as their pumps ran dry. Some most probably falsely declared that their pumps had run dry and were just either too lazy to rake in the cash from last minute sales or just wanting to keep their underground tanks for the increment at midnight. Either way, lots of Malaysians were pretty pissed off that night. Pissed from the snap announcement and then pissed to bits due to waiting so long for petrol.

Of course this is inevitable. Petrol globally has hit ridiculous prices. Oil exploration costs (according to these oil-men) are rising as they are now drilling from smaller oil fields. China and India are experiencing an economic boom and they are now buying cars, motorcycles, planes, lorries, Louis Vuitton handbags and endangered species' furs like there's no tomorrow. When demand outstrips supply, things like this happens. I just hope that I still see a RM1.00 Ramly burger at the Pasar Malam after this.

I predict small car sales will be booming. Those rich people with money to spend would also be thinking of being economical. We'll see sales of the Mercedes C200 and E200 booming, E240 and above dropping as imagine that, Mr. Rich man gets Mercedes prestige, pays 1,800cc roadtax and is STILL given a RM652.00 rebate if he renews his roadtax the next few months. It's not only the poor who benefits. Which is why we need to be richer than what we are now, but still capitalise on the system.

I also predict when 'Mr Why should I step down, I've got work to do' writes his memoirs, it'll clearly state that he was doing what he believes was right, and that it was a global phenomenon that was beyond his control. That he inherited a system in that way and was trying to correct it. Excuses. What do you think most Malaysians would remember him for? Making the RM1.00 pasar malam Ramly burger cost RM2.00?

Tech Focus: Noisy but not that Fast. VW R32 vs Audi A4 2.0TFSi

The other day a friend was happily chasing down a 2008 mk5 VW R32 with his 2007 Audi A4 2.0TFSi on a trip to Penang. Both cars were loaded with one passenger each and was basically down for a weekend trip. The VW R32 is a rorty sounding V6 powered Full Time AWD car with around 250bhp on tap running through a superb DSG gearbox. The Audi A4 is a 4 cylinder 2.0 Turboed car with around 200bhp powering its front wheels via a CVT transmission. Now what happened on the North-South Highway was that at all speeds, the R32 could not pull away from the A4. Amazing isn’t it? The ultimate Golf cannot pull away from a 4 door mid range Audi.

It got me thinking. Then I also realised. Let’s put all factors in play. The R32 weighs 1538kg empty. The A4 weighs a measly 1430kgs. There is a 108kg difference here. Add both drivers, 80kg and a passenger each at 80kg and some luggage I’d say the Audi is still a good 80kgs lighter. Now we measure power to weight ratio. The R32 has about 162bhp per ton against 139bhp per ton. Yup, it shows that the R32 has a 23bhp advantage over the A4 2.0. It isn’t much is it? When you put the numbers in. Of course in Sepang that could be a 2 second per lap advantage on average.

Now we factor in the fact of transmission loss into the picture. We know that AWD usually losses an easy 20-25% of its power through transmission loss. A FWD would lose only about 7-10% depending on the type of gearbox used. Usually a CVT loses a lot due to it having a basic rubber band/chain system (like a racing bike type gear system) and it has lots of slip and loss here and there. So we will now state that the R32 will lose about 22% of its drive due to the transmission and the A4 will lose 10% due to the CVT. The R32 is then estimated to make 195bhp at the wheels and the A4 180bhp at the wheels. So, in other words, the Audi only loses out 15bhp to the R32. Amazing. I also have to add the fact that I have never known a turboed car to actually make what is said in its manual. I think that A4 may have a few more horses north of 200bhp from the factory. The owner may be lucky. But most Turbo cars are usually pumping out slightly more than quoted.

You buy an R32 for RM300,000.00++++++. You buy a A4 FWD for RM265,000.00++. You then find out that you own a heavier car that makes 15bhp more at the wheels, pay more road tax and while it’s a top of the line Golf, it looks like a mini MPV compared to the Audi. 15bhp will not allow the R32 to outrun the A4 on the highway. You pay for a cheaper Audi that also have more brand prestige than a 'people's Car'.

We haven’t factored in gearing. We also have to note that a Normally Aspirated Car like the R32 would thrive on revs and to actually DRIVE the car, you’d have to be extremely silly. I.e. If you’re in a manual, you’d probably be in 2^nd gear while the Turbo is in 3^rd. We also don’t know how VW actually geared the R32.

It is geared for the Autobahn? Then you’d only see that car coming into play at about 200km/h, which is actually a speed that is nearly impossible to maintain on the 2 lane stretch of the North-South Highway for more than half an hour. In Sepang I’d say the R32 would be the faster car. But in the real world, OR Malaysian highway driving. 15bhp wouldn’t make a darn difference and that’s why the R32 couldn’t and wouldn’t pull away from the A4. To the guy who bought the R32. Tough luck. But at least it sounds superb. Maybe that’s the actual reason to buy the R32.

.

Drive experience: You Can Blame Everything Bad in Malaysia on a Dead Dictator and We Look At The Original Mini

I think we should all blame Adolf Hitler for everything wrong in Malaysia today. We can blame him for the high price of petrol, cooking oil, rice, cockroach infested mamak stalls, ugly looking flower horn fishes, badly designed cars and the volkwagen beetle owning Malaysians who love that car, not that there’s anything wrong about the car but the fact that is was Hitler who actually gave the green light for the Beetle project in the first place. This is because Hitler is the universal villain whether he likes it or not. And also for the fact that everyone who’s a politician with the rulling party is pointing fingers at everyone else or trying to be a hypocrite and saying nothing about it whatsoever even though he can do something about it. So, the best thing I would suggest all people who are into politics in Malaysia is to blame a dead dictator for any wrongdoings in the country. You have also Mussolini, Idi Amin, Rasputin and a few other famous people to choose from if you don’t want to blame Hitler for it.

Proper shoes to drive in

You can click on the title above to find out what proper driving shoes should be like. Of course you can drive with your 12inch platform shoes. But you may kill someone while driving with them on.

Click on the Title or Look at the LINKS section for details.

Mass production and a car for the masses: The Perodua Viva 660cc

There was a time when people found it hard to own a decent pair of shoes, or a watch, or a car, or a nice suit but now with the advent of mass production, everyone has to chance of owning one of the items mentioned above. In those days, people had to go to the nearest cobbler in town to repair or buy a new pair of shoes. This would mean walking or riding their horses miles and miles to get there; Only to find that the cobbler was away vacationing in Brussels and would only be back in about 6 months time. The person would be shoeless throughout the 6 month period as the nearest town with another cobbler or shoemaker would be a 2 week ride journey. During that time, his vegetable patch would wither away, his cows would be stolen and his wife and kids sold off to slavery. So he would have to make do with his old pair of shoes with holes in them. Now, with the advent of mass production, he would go to the nearest Bata shop and purchase his new pair of cheap shoes and be happy.

I would consider us as very fortunate that we live in an age where clothing, transport and telecommunication is relatively affordable. Notice that we have clothing as cheap as 5 Ringgit brand new, Cell Phones as cheap as 100 Ringgit brand new and 10,000 Ringgit for a decent used car. We have progressed a long way from not owning anything to everyone owning something useful.

The great thing about mass production is that you can mass produce really useful items quickly and cheaply for everyone to benefit. Of course the bad thing is that it creates something called unnecessary spending which is needed by the factory owners to keep on making money. This then created the reasoning behind having a ‘newly improved model’ every 4 or 5 years (or even less when it comes to cell-phones). You see it in cars and bikes mostly as well as fashion. Trends and fashion dictate what we must have instead of necessity. That is why my wife and I have a combined shoe collection larger than Imelda Marcos at her prime. But that is another story. Today we are going to talk about the cheapest and most sensible way of transport in Malaysia. Owning a Perodua Viva 660cc Manual. Yes, I’ve managed to take a short drive of that car somewhere around Bukit Damansara and the Sri Hartamas area at a time and place that would remain undisclosed in case I drove too fast or too slow.

This car isn’t as small as you think it is. It isn’t like the Kancil which it replaces as it has really decent rear legroom as its length is the same as the larger MyVi except that it is narrower. But, it isn’t as narrow as the Kancil or the Kelisa (which it also replaces) which is a good thing. The memories of me driving a 1^st Generation Kancil with another large friend was that of me and him rubbing shoulders and him leaning on me on fast corners. The seats weren’t supportive at all.

Inside: The basic 660cc Viva is pure hard plastic. I suppose paying RM25,000 and a bit more (after discount given) for a car would get you that nowadays. The seats and steering are not adjustable and it is all grey plastic. Very Spartan. However, I must add that the switchgear have quite tactile feel compared to some earlier generation Japanese / Malaysian / Korean cars. I suppose things have improved on that level. There is no power assisted steering for the base model but low speed steering won’t kill you. Acceptable driving position but seats without any lateral support.

Driving it: It understeers. I comes standard on 12 in rims and tires in 145/155 size. Any corner taken over the speed of 35km/h causes it to go into understeer mode. It needs more front end grip which you can get by putting either aftermarket rims and tires which are larger or finding a newly traded in set of 14 in wheels and tires from the 1,000cc model. I’d go down to Klang as often people go there to change tires and rims. However, you may wonder whether putting larger tires may cause extra drag for the minute engine.

The Ride: It rides better than the Kancil as well as the Kelisa. In fact, if you bought the previous generation Saga, this Viva rides better. But the main gripe of this car is that it understeers. This somewhat kills the fun of it compared to the Kelisa. However, what you are getting is a more refined car compared to even the Kelisa. I suppose you can’t win ‘em all.

The engine: It is a 660cc lawnmover engine stuck into a car. The 3 cylinder warble is quite addictive. It does need more poke. 39 or so bhp is merely adequate as my 100kg ‘svelte as a movie star’ frame and a 55+kg friend. You can hear it screaming as soon as it reaches a slight uphill gradient as you have to downshift in expectation of that short hillclimb. The car, if left in say, 3^rd gear would just amble slowly up the slope and may irritate other roadusers. It does have a 8,000rpm redline, but why does it have that redline I could not, for the love of eating Lamb Shanks, understand why it does not make any form of power above 6,000rpm. Maybe it needs a free flowing airfilter and an exhaust system to extract all that power. You have such a nice high redline, but you aren’t allowed to exploit it. Motorcycles have an even higher redline if it were a 600cc sportsbike.

If I bought this car, I’d stick on a suspension system to kill the understeer and then work on making the engine breathe. I will be the mosquito that I mentioned earlier, buzzing around with a nice 8,000rpm dentist drill. I would be pretty fun. However, if I was working in a factory, just married with a kid on the way I wouldn’t. I’d just enjoy the fact that I have a nice comfortable car to carry the wife, kid and myself around KL even though I don’t earn a lot and I don’t want to go the 2^nd hand route. Isn’t that what basic transport is all about?

* Many thanks to the owner of the car who I’m sad to say lost his Toyota Celica recently to desperate scumbags who steal cars for a living. May the person/s who stole that car one day gets struck down by lightning or flattened by a falling meteorite. And NO...he did not buy the Viva after losing the car. You think he's crazy? Nobody in his right mind would switch cars like that!

New Layout and a Test Drive: 2008 Suzuki Swift 1.5

As you can now see, I've finally learnt more about making this blog looking better than it was before. It has taken me a few months to actually decide on whether I should make such a change or not. Mainly as I was a little too preoccupied with other matters like raising a kid, drinking Earl Grey tea at home or going shopping with the missus. I think this new format does wonders to the outlook of this site and if I was a little less lazy, it would have been done sooner!

How to bring down an Institution to its knees within a period of 5 years

Recently Malaysia concluded its general elections. The opposition managed to take 5 states, and did not allow the Ruling Coalition its two thirds majority. Everyone was shocked. Some cried, some died and some basically rejoiced. However, everyone of us became an unpaid political analyst; giving our opinions freely at coffeeshops, fast food restaurants, hotel lobbies, over the telephone and so forth. Times are a changin' as Dylan once wrote and so are most Malaysians. The biggest outcome was that Malaysians were indeed willing and unafraid to make changes. I suppose that as a nation gets more developed, things like this happen. What's there to be afraid of? In America, the supposed Land of the Free, Burgers and Fries things like this have been happening for ages. The Republicans and Democrats swap ruling that country every other term or so. The country hasn't burnt to the ground or suffered. With that statement, the big wheel will still keep on turning irregardless of who's behind the wheel.

We also noticed that somehow the people in power seem to have a tough time letting go or taking responsibility of such a bad showing at the elections. I mean, if you were a CEO of a public listed company which had RM100million worth of sales in each 14 states and areas over a period of 30 years, and suddenly you had close to zero sales in 5 states, 50% sales in some states and a drop in the states that never had a drop at all; what would the board of directors to do you? They would assuredly feed you to the sharks. Which is what the Ruling Coalition did not do to their General. Amazing. I suppose they still believe in the Hang Tuah theory of blindly following the ruler's arse even to certain doom. I think we need more Hang Jebats around, seriously.

Anyway, with people seemingly wanting the establishment or institution ruined, including by those in power we must note that the main reason for this is:

1.
a lack of commitment by the number 1 guy (slow decision making andpictures of him sleeping or supposedly " deep thought" give everyone the wrong idea no matter what reason is given and stories of him being late to official and unofficial functions give this reason more ammunition,
2.
listening to the wrong advisors (Oxford graduates that seem to be into self preservation tend to give bad advice),
3.
advisors not giving proper advise - usually for self preservation and benefit (usually guys who want to maintain as Ministers to reap in the profits),
4.
blindly going ahead with projects that the public does not want or have protested (lots of unnecessary hills and trees bulldozed amid protests; and
5.
basically ignoring the person on the street by increasing every basic necessity within a span of 3 years.

Any establishment or institution is bound to come crashing if you follow the above all within a short periood of 5 years from the date of comming into power.

Now if you remember, even Mercedes Benz did this to its own self and suffered dearly. They did the following:

1.
Did a cost cutting exercise because some smart alec executive read all the car reviews which basically said that Mercedes Benz were over engineered cars especially the W124 series and the W140 series of cars which until this day seems to last without any worries or hassles to their owners. The cars after that, especially the 2000 onwards C-class suffered with failing electrics and so forth. Of course these were corrected when the next facelift arrived. However the problem hit the whole range of Mercedes cars and the company suffered in terms of sales and warranty claims due to this. Sometimes you can't cost cut what's most important to you.

2.
They bought Chrysler. Why bother with an American car company? There is no benefit whatsoever. Chrysler would benefit from Mercedes technology but what could Chrysler offer? Outdated engines and chassis? Even the Dodge Viper had a pushrod 1950s style truck engine. Volume Sales? They are last among the three American car producers. They realised this and only last year sold off all shares. I mean here in Malaysia, what Chrysler vehicle have you seen recently? The Jeep Cherokee? It was a rubbish vehicle compared to the equivalent Toyota Land Cruiser or even a Land Rover Defender.

I suppose every large organisation needs a shakeup once in a while. I just hope that the people in the Ruling Coalition decide on things soon. Like giving someone the boot as soon as possible. It's not logical for anyone to be sitting in power after such a shocking round of defeats; even if you're still in control, or are they still in control in the first place?

However, the great thing about cars compared to politics is that you can correct the problems quickly. I mean look at Mercedes of today. It has got every sort of car for every kind of people. No one, not even BMW or even AUDI has a line up as comprehensive and as sublime as Mercedes. If you think I am lying I shall give you examples. If you are into a sporty sort of car, they have their AMG cars, if you're a captain of the industry they have their S-class and their Maybach. If you are just a manager you can buy the C-class or E-class. If you're not so rich or think that RM250K is too much money for just a car, a 1992 E230 would still garner you the respect at most hotel lobbies unlike a 1995 E34 bmw 520i. Somehow, Mercedes Benz age gracefully unlike other cars. This is why a Mercedes is an icon. You just can't beat joining an establishment or an institution like that.

Another MPV hating article for the fun of it

I was in Singapore about a month ago for the Singapore Airshow. Aside from getting to view in person the latest Subaru Impreza S-GT (WRX Auto) which looked like a truncated Toyota Caldina (which is pretty dull looking but not as bad as I first expected it to look) and the new Lancer Evolution 10, which in my opinion doesn't really look like it has differentiated alot from the Lancer GT/GLS that I recently drove (visually almost similiar), and in between complaining to my business partner about the ridiculously high cost of being a visitor to such an event (SGD50 for parking if we drove, SGD5 for a short 10minute busride!) I witnessed the performance of something that was as graceful as a hippopotamus wearing a tutu doing the nutcracker suite. It was the flying display of the Airbus A380. For those of you who are not aware of what an A380 is, I shall tell you that it is currently the largest passenger aircraft in the world. It is larger than the Boeing 747 Jumbo Jet and is cleaner, quieter and flies smarter due to very military spec avionics. It is the stay-puft man, pilsbury, gigantor, el-lardo of the airline industry. Maybe some larger transport aircraft may 'dwarf' it, but that's only very slightly.

Imagine looking up and seeing that hippo feeling extremely light on its feet, making turns at around 100km/h without a worry. Technology does that. It enables a tutu wearing hippo like the A380 to actually perform wonders. I was looking up and wondering how many tons of aluminium, plastic and composite material larger than Jabba the Hutt could actually be wafting by extremely slowly doing circles while the commentator was blabbering away about the A380’s specifications with classical music playing in the background. It wasn’t as spectacular as watching a Sukhoi SU-30 doing its Cobra Stance and Falling Leaf-like stall manoeuvres, but it was indeed much better than watching some F16 doing a fly-by, which is pretty common in my books as I’ve seen tons of fighter aircraft flight displays in my line of work. So I usually ignore the Red Arrows, Black Eagles, Yellow Canaries, Flying Parakeets or any of that sort of aerobatic displays as they are all alike. I’d now like to watch someone invent something that is either humongous or small and dainty that can bend space and time. Enter a worm hole at one end of the runway and out the other. After watching the Sukhoi do all those gravity defying stunts, I want all jet fighters to have variable directional nozzles, canards and fantastic avionics so that I can see UFO-like movements. Imagine at an Air Show we have Lockheed showing is an Independence Day like mothership slowly clearing the mountaintops of the Titiwangsa Range for a flyby at next year’s LIMA exhibition. Or imagine the Puddlejumper from Stargate:Atlantis doing an appearance at this year’s DSA. Appearing on one end of the runway and disappearing, then reappearing right above the crowds. That would be amazing.

I suppose being exposed to all these events and technology makes some people (like me) immune to being really surprised about technology. But it doesn’t. Again I bring you to the Airbus A380 experience. It really is a sight to behold when it is flying slow. The International House of Pancakes (or the A380) feels like its not moving due to its size when you watch it fly by you at slow speeds. Lucky there are no traffic jams in the sky. You only have delays when you wish to land due to lots of air traffic. So you may now ask what is the point of this article?

None whatsoever. We also realise that aeroplanes are much more economical if they are large humongous Airbuses and that they can carry 800-900 people at one go. However, air travel is not a personal way of travelling to 99% of all flyers as private jets are expensive. There is a vast difference when it comes to personal transport for us. We have motorcycles, bicycles and even cars. It is of this point that I state that the general public is confused when it comes to purchasing cars. I mean, if you had the money to buy a private jet like a Global Express would you buy a Boeing 747 instead because you wanted the extra legroom? You’d buy the Global Express because it’s small, nippy, fast and still luxurious over Jumbotron over there. The rationale behind buying an MPV is exactly the same thing. You will never put your money down for an oil tanker for private use over a Wellcraft Scarab cigarette boat, but why in God’s name would you take out your check book and write a down payment for a MPV when you don’t really need one except for once a year? Buy that small sports car or decent 4 door saloon. Honda City excluded.

Size Does Matter.

I’ve been having some opinion lately about large cars and fast cars in general. I will post something on fast cars later and shall blabber about large cars for now. I once posted an article about how large cars were growing in size recently and I am still amazed on why we humans nowadays need so much space and size in a car . This was what I wrote in early 2007:

“The first problem is the fact that cars are becoming larger. Look at the current Honda Civic, it’s so large that an Accord from 1990 looks small compared to it. Before 1995, Honda didn’t have a need to have a Honda City, look what’s happened now? In the year 2025, the Honda City will be Accord sized and the Accord will be slightly smaller than your average terrace house. The Mercedes S class will be slightly smaller than a small bungalow and would need a ladder for you to reach the door, occupy 2 lanes on a highway and because of the miracle of lightweight materials, electronics and engine development, make 125mpg. We are obviously screwed when it comes to a desire for space. Years ago, before men invented MPVs, we all went round in 4 door Mazda 323s, Volvo 244s and so forth. I think those days were simple. So simple that we won’t go back there again because cars those days have their own set of issues. We were screwed then as well as in the future.”

Do we really need all that space? Remember that the rest of the world, which means you and me included, doesn’t live in America, which means we don’t have acres of road to play with and a roadside parking space that would easily fit an M1 Abrams MBT. What we have are jam packed roads, slightly undersized parking lots (no joke as you’d notice the amounts of dings and dents on your car after a few years) and terrible road and city planning where we inherited some very narrow backlanes that won’t even fit a W140 S-Class Mercedes Benz. We actually need small to medium sized family sedans at the most. This means Honda Civic, Mitsubishi Lancer sized cars and not Toyota Camry and Honda Accords which in their current generations are large cars. These cars are heavy as they are conventional build cars; i.e. steel chassis and body which means lots of weight = stodgy handling (which isn't good for the enthusiast) and fuel guzzling. They have no real place in our society, as they are as big as a W220 S-Class nowadays. The reason is that space is at a premium and the amount of petrol a 2.4liter Camry guzzles isn’t very sensible in times where oil reaches a hundred US Dollars a barrel.

Please notice that none of us or our children have grown to Godzilla sized adults compared to our parents or grandparents. None of us are 11foot 6 inches tall and none of us actually have a waist larger than a Sequoia tree. We as a human race have not grown so much in the last 20 years until it actually warrants so much space to be had in a car. My dad in 5foot 10inches, I am unlucky in that I am two inches shorter in fact. My closest friends range from between 6ft tall to 5ft 4in tall; and I am referring to men here. So where is the actual growth spurt that’s supposedly happening? If you say that this is Asia and Asians tend to be short I can find you a short European and show him to you in no time as it’s the same thing over there. However, we seem to be purchasing larger cars. Note that it is popular to own a Toyota Camry or a Honda Accord which now seems to be extra large saloons compared to when they first started out. The Camry is as large as the first Lexus LS400 and the Accord is as large as the first Legend. This is downright stupid.

I think the problem is that car manufacturers are that they have focus groups, motoring journalists and America to blame for. The focus groups tend to be from a wide range of people who are parents, rocket scientists, insurance salesmen, lawyers and mass murderers. These people are those that suggested some detail that have been incorporated into modern cars. They suggested cup-holders (good). They and motor journalists suggested the fact that they need larger cars for them to use in their daily commute. Let’s for example take the Honda Civic. In 1985 it was a small 2-4 door hatchback/sedan that was used as a second car for people who wanted a small car to ferry their kids to school or for that short trip to the market. Honda slowly increased the car in size until what I believed it was optimum during the 1992 EG series chassis. Everyone who sat in one had decent and more than ample headroom and legroom. I don’t remember sitting in a 4 door SiR and complaining that my knee was bashed against the front seat or that my head was touching the headlining. It was cozy for 4 people and a slight squeeze for 5. But never did I complain I was in agony from a lack of space.

The problem with focus group participants who complained about lack of space in their Honda Civic was that they went and sat in some larger car (like the Accord at the time) and wished their small compact Civic was that car. This is actually the same with some journalists who jump in and out of cars comparing them and saying that this is actually too small compared to that newer model They compared the previous Civic with the newly launched Lancer and when the newly launched Corolla came out and trounced both in size said that the Civic and Lancer are small. It’s like a stupid arms race that’s caused by comparing one newer make to another. Car manufacturer engineers should not always follow what journalists and focus groups say.

The 2000 Civic was even larger than the EK series that it replaced. It even had a flat floor that liberated lots of space at the rear. However, it was still a slight squeeze for 5 people. So they came out with an even larger Civic this time around. While it looks stunning, it’s huge. Is there a real point for the size? This is where America comes in. For Honda to make a decent profit, it has to build global cars. Being global usually means you have to design a car for America, the land of the big. Look at their burgers and you know what I mean. The phrase ‘Thunder Thighs’ was coined by an American and so did the word (and burger) ‘Whopper’. This is a place where people are large and the average waist size is 45 to 600 inches depending on age and diet (and the amount of beer drank during the year’s Superbowl). To sell the small Civic in America it had to grow in size. However, it has to be noted that because of its girth, Civics no longer handle like they used to.

The Civic grew and grew and grew. And it is still growing until Honda noticed that it had grown to a size where another model can slot below that one. This is the problem. However, it isn’t only Honda or Toyota that couldn’t’ stop making their cars grow. Everyone had small cars that became fat. The BMW 3 series grew until BMW had to slot in a 1series. I truly dread the day when the 1 series becomes larger a few generations down the road. What are we going to have? A ½ series? ½20I? ½30I? How about a Mercedes A 0.570 to replace the A170 as the baby Merc? This has got to stop.

What should be done was this. I used ‘past tense’ due to the fact that it wasn’t done and now its too late to change. Firstly, get a few psychologists to analyze focus group participants. Get to the root of their suggestions. It may be an inherent need for a participant to suggest a larger Civic as they actually wanted an Accord but couldn’t afford one in the first place. Secondly, shoot any journalist that actually complains on the fact that the latest Lexus super saloon a tad smaller than a Rolls Royce Phantom. And thirdly, IGNORE America. They’re just a country of 5 lane a side highways and bus sized ‘compacts’. Their viewpoint isn’t relevant in the global car industry. See? I have an answer for everything.

The Dugong and the Tadpole

I have to be honest here. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as some people find the current Honda City a good looking, futuristic car. Usually people who like looking at this car are the owners of this car and that’s all there is to it. In my earlier blog you have heard me moan and complain about how much it resembles a tadpole on stilts. I have come to the conclusion that Honda City owners are people who think in this sort of manner:

1. All Hondas are good cars. Period.

2. All Hondas hold good resale value.

3. All Hondas are powered by F1 related engines.

4. All Hondas are prestigious.

5. All Hondas can be converted into a Type R Honda with the placement of a small badge at the boot stating so.

Well Honda City owners, I got news for you. Your Honda City is a tadpole on stilts and there are no excuses that you can give to make me say otherwise. It is also the ugliest new car in the world bar none.

Let me put you guys into perspective here.

1. All Hondas are good cars. Except the City. The gearbox is a stupid CVT box that feels like any CVT box, i.e having that rubber band feel when driving. The only decent CVT box I’ve driven aren’t made by Honda. It also does not look good. It sits too high from the ground, the body sits on tires too small. The rear track is so much smaller than the front making it look so unbalanced when viewing it at a three quarter rear angle. The nose is too big for the rear. The rear too tacked on as it’s based on the Jazz then a boot glued on and so forth. You may say that it’s a practical car and it has a large boot, funky ultra rear seats. So? It’s ugly. Enough said.

2. Hondas have good resale value. Anyone who buys a car with the intention of getting good resale value is not a car enthusiast per se. Do not come to me saying that you like the City because you are a car enthusiast. No real enthusiast would be caught seen driving in one unless necessary (like if he had to steal a car and it was between a 1985 Proton Saga and the City). You may also think “at least I don’t have to look at it when I drive” it but why bother in the first place as deep down in your heart you know that the outside is hideous.

3. Honda engines are F1 related therefore very powerful. How powerful can your 1.5litre engine be for goodness sakes? Even if you bought the VTEC version of it you are saddled with a chassis that’s too tall to be sporty. Furthermore, that engine is an economy tuned VTEC, it sips, not gulps petrol.

4. Hondas are prestigious. That’s Kah Motor marketing getting to your brains. Luckily Kah Motor is not the official anymore. It’s as simple as that. How prestigious is your Honda if it’s a tadpole? You’re just buying that lame dumpy looking City because you want to be called a Honda owner but you can’t afford the Honda Civic or Accord in the first place. You’re just telling me you can't afford one of its bigger siblings but you still want the badge. That badge won't do you no good as it also tells me you got bad taste in styling and you choose practicality over style. Sometimes when you buy a car you are making an investment that you'll run around in for about 5 years. Do you honestly want to run around in an ugly car for that long a period?

5. Any Honda can be a Type R. True. As your Honda City is Type 'Rubbish' if you end up putting a ‘MUGEN’ type bodykit. Whatever you do to the car it will still be too narrow at the rear, too short in the nose, too long a boot, too unbalanced a look and basically too ugly. 17in Wheels? It does not help. Buy a Honda Jazz instead. At least with the Jazz you get a nice looking practical hatchback that MUGEN has actually played around with as there recently has been a Mugen Jazz/ Fit with around 150bhp and is actually sporty. Furthermore, if you are willing to spend RM90K for an ugly car, you could buy a Jazz for only RM10K more and you won't look like a dork driving a tadpole on stilts.

If you ask whether I have actually had the guts to tell a City owner that he bought the wrong car I actually once did just that. There was this chap who recently bought a City who was a friend on a friend. I asked him why he bought a tadpole. He was speechless. I went on telling him that the tadpole isn't a car for him, or anyone trying to look cool. The worse thing was after that short chat, he somewhat agreed with me. I must meet more City owners to tell them what I feel. At least I feel better if not them.

What about its direct competitor? The newly launched Toyota Vios (left). Yes. It may look like a dugong. But at least that dugong is prettier than a tadpole. Also note that the City is old in its life cycle and a replacement is forthcomming (and will hopefully balance practicality/ function and looks). BUT for now: PLEASE buy the Dugong. You won’t regret it.

I Test Drove a People Carrier! The Nissan Grand Livina! Wheeeeeeee.....Not.

The Chinese New Year was a time where Kuala Lumpur suddenly becomes somewhat of a ghost town (or city). Where almost all its Chinese population leaves for their hometowns and almost all business activity stops to a standstill. This is due to the fact that most of the retail businesses in KL are run by the Chinese. This coupled to the fact that nowadays, everyone goes back to their hometown during any long holiday. The Malays and the Indians join the exodus out of KL creating mega traffic jams usually unseen and not experienced by those living outside KL. However as time goes by, we notice that there are also more and more people celebrating the Chinese Newy Year in KL as these are those that have been born and raised in and around the Klang Valley since around independence and have children and grand children around KL. It is because of this, Kuala Lumpur isn't as empty as it used to be. This is the same during the Hari Raya Aidil Fitri celebrations, where the city is still packed with people but there are no traffic jams but still heavy traffic here and there. While this is a good sign, it does not make any difference on the highways which are still jam-packed with people going here and there.

My friend and his family took forever to reach KL from Karak highway due to slow moving traffic on the hilly sections of that stretch. A one and a half hour trip via highway to Kuantan takes at least 4 hours. I think we Malaysians should just stay home during other people's festivals in order to keep the roads clear for those celebrating. This however is easier said than done as the reason for most people who are not celebrating the festivities is that that is the only time they have to 1. Get Married 2. Go on a family holiday. So it is impossible to cut down on traffic during the festivities. So what are your other options?

1. You buy a smaller car so that your carbon footprint is smaller. That's stupid. Would you want to be sitting in a Perodua Kelisa on the highway doing 110km/h and feel all that NVH get to you after a few hours sitting in a small cramped cabin? Or would you want to be sitting in a traffic crawl for 4 hours in a small cramped cabin? The problem is the Kelisa or a Kancil or a Viva is that these are city cars that are actually comfortable for short trips but hell for larger sized drivers and those going on long trips. If you are driving alone, it would be quite tolerable but if you were travelling with 3 other people, it is a pain. Trust me.

2. You buy a people carrier. So that you can travel in relative comfort if you have 5 or 6 of you to bring along. However, owning a people carrier basically tells the world you are a married man, hence uncool to the rest of the world. But think about it, your carbon footprint may be larger than the Kelisa, but you have space and comfort for all to enjoy sitting together in that God forsaken crawl back to Kuala Lumpur. The 6 of you can sing songs, play games, watch DVDs, hit each other, listen to each other curse and swear, play ping pong (if your van is large enough), make babies (if it has a separate bedroom) and so forth. So instead of having 2 cars to carry your family, i.e your wife has to drive the other car. The MPV throws you, your wife, 3 kids and the maid all into one purportedly useful vehicle, the MPV. Quite good for reducing traffic on those back to KL highway crawls you think? Unfortunately, these same vehicles cause extra congestion on work days where one individual is driving that huge bulk carrier alone without any passengers or containers in the back. Maybe the other option would be owning a different car for a different occasion. As such, the Government should again ensure that MPV owners have at least a small town car for daily commutes whether their owners like it or not.

Speaking of people carriers, I got to test drive one during the last holidays. The Nissan Grand Livina. Is it good you might ask? It's cheap I may say. RM82,000+ for the 1.6 version is a lot of car/van for the money especially when it's the same price Nissan is asking for their Latio sedan and around the same price Toyota is asking for the basic Vios. You get a 1.6liter 109bhp 4 speed automatic, 7 seater MPV with power everything and decent build quality. For RM82k, it is amazing. It looks pretty decent unlike a Toyota Avanza which looks like a toad with a fatter that usual rear end. It looks like a slightly taller station wagon which is somewhat like what the Toyota Wish and Honda Streams look like. This is a good thing, as those stupidly bungalow looking Toyota Alphard and Nissan Elgrands aren't the way to go when it comes to vehicle ownership. The question that came to my mind is that; What is heck's name is a Grand Livina? I know what 'grand' means, but Livina? I did some looking up, the only thing I thought of was that LIVINA is short for 'LIVing IN A'. Grand Living in a what? Box? I suppose so. But in order to assist me I used Wikipedia and this is what i got from the word Livina.

Livina is a village and municipality in Partizánske District in the Trenčín Region of western Slovakia. (see Map)

In historical records the village was first mentioned in 1340.

The municipality lies at an altitude of 196 metres and covers an area of 3.223 km². It has a population of about 120 people.

I suppose the Nissan is a car that celebrates the grand place of LIVINA that has a population smaller than Tanjung Malim. I wonder how grand is that compared to Vienna? Prague? or even Zurich? They may as well called it Grand Woolongong and it could even be a larger place than Livina. Note in the press photo above, Nissan feels the need to associate the Grandness of the Grand Livina by putting it in a picture with a grand piano visible inside the supposedly grand entrance of a grand house.

Anyway, I sat in the 2nd row of seats when I first rode in that MPV (2 up front, me and a 10 yr old kid in the 2nd row - pretty family like I must add). After a few minutes I noticed that it was decently quiet and the road noise was decently filtered out. The ride was slightly on the firm side from where I was sitting. I suppose Nissan's engineers must have done quite an outstanding job making a budget MPV pretty quiet. The only drawback I could find was that the body wasn't as rigid as I would have liked, You could feel some shudder on certain bigger bumps which you know comes from lack of body control or rigidity. Oh yeah, the 3rd row of seats are like other budget MPVs, there for the sake of having the extra 6th and 7th seats but isn't all that comfortable most of the time. The seats eat into luggage space here also and you have as much luggage space as a small hatchback, which is one major problem most MPVs don't have a solution for.

Driving the Livina is pretty straightforward. Electric Power Steering, 4 Speed Autobox, Seats perched high up to give a commanding view but 100% unsporty. I'd prefer a lower car like driving position anytime over this. The steering is light, but not overservoed like most electric powersteerings I've tried but it still has that over centering feel to it like most electric steering wheels do. The automatic gearbox is pretty quick on kickdown and the 1.6liter engine doesn't feel like its underpowered hauling an MPV body. I suppose it's because the Livina only weighs 1250kgs which isn't a porkysort of weight for its 109hp and 150nm of torque. It does pretty fine I suppose.

Taking corners is pretty okay provided you drive like a father with 4 children in the vehicle. While the ride is slightly firm, it still bounces a little and understeers a fair bit. A fair bit here means that as a typical family van understeer sets in pretty early and you can feel it comming in even at some low speed corners. It also feels that it is rolling even with that slightly firm-like ride. However, it has a pretty decent turning circle and

All this facts are basically what you'd expect when you own one of these. There is nothing pleasurable from driving the Livina, but at least you don't suffer like the people who have to drive an Avanza EVERYDAY. The chap I borrowed the Livina from once owned an Avanza, he said that the Avanza was only useful for carrying his family around, and it was uncomfortable (and ugly) and at least now he can carry his family around him in some dignity and comfort. Which is miles better than his previous Van. I suppose it's better than nothing. As for me, I'd still stay away from this vehicle. It is unsporty and Nissan family car dull, therefore unbecoming of me to own one (or anyone who aspires to own a GTR etc. etc.).

That said, the guy (my wife's cousin) I tested it with said that it is real good value for money, He'd buy it and slap on some 17in wheels on it. Why? I added as it'll totally spoil the comfy and sloshy ride and even with 17in wheels and tires & springs, it's not going to make you corner like a 350z or a GTR. It would be pretty worthless doing so as the main point is that it would still look like an MPV, hence you look married and unavailable and therefore, uncool. There is nothing else to debate here! Leave it as it is if you buy one, you'd be better off saving that money for a weekend car. Or just upgrade the stereo system with better speakers and more monitors, and that's the best mods for these sort of vehicles. Aside from that....the best mod is buy yourself a decent family sedan.

Worries about the I Drive system.

Recently I noticed that everything these days have some Windows style interface and even cars seem to have them. Recently I tried the new Audi Q7 and it too has an ‘I’ drive style setup with menus and sub menus to set the radio, suspension, lights, etc. whatever that can be controlled by a mouse like toggle can be interfaced with this setup. Although I am told that the Audi version isn’t as ‘I’diotic as a BMW ‘I’ drive, it still seems to be too gadgetry for its own good. Yes, I suppose it de-clutters the dashboard making it have less switches and toggles but somehow going through menus and sometimes sub-menus are a little bit tedious. Sometimes you’d wish for the good old days when starting a car requires a key (and maybe a start button). Now, you need to wonder whether your door was locked in the first place as you approached your car and found the door unlocked as you have the keyless entry system. While you are aware that this function allows your car to be locked outside of the receiver’s range, you’ll still be paranoid and think whether you have locked the car or not. This little bit of paranoia isn’t healthy as living in the world today is bad enough with suicide bombers, kidnappers, crazed politicians all around you.

Also imagine going into your new BMW 790iL and finding out that to start the car you have to scroll as follows through the ‘I’diotic Drive.

Start Menu – Select – Password – Password Approved – Enter Menu – Menu – Select – New User – Enter password – Select Start –

Suddenly the screen blinks and a guy in a paperclip (like the Microsoft Help guy except here he is a spanner) says “ do you need help? If so click on the screen” – you then click “do not show help again”

- Start Menu appears – Selection – Cold Start – Hot Start – you choose Cold Start

- the engine decides to do a Pentium Duo Core processor system start up before actually cranking up the engine 5 minutes later like your Acer notebook. And you’re off….hours after you’ve got into your car. Imagine if you wanted to be somewhere in 5 minutes, you’d only make it in 10.

Do you actually notice that if you were to drive your car all you actually need is a key, you turn it, drop the hand brake, select gear and you’re off. But in these new models, you may have to sit through it like your notebook. This is something I don’t wish for it to happen. Somehow, the old system of having a button for everything makes perfect sense. As in the first place, you don’t need so many buttons at all. You don’t actually need all the gadgetry in the first place. You just want to have them so that you can brag about it with friends. You have actually no need for gadgets and extra meters in your vehicle. What is given is sufficient and you know it as the only stuff you need is a radio with 6 preset channels, the petrol gauge, the speedometer, Rev Counter and a water temp meter. The rest is purely optional as if you’re taking a nice reasonably drive through the countryside, that is all you need, and the sound of your engine purring nicely.

Imagine the opposite of this concept. We now go forward to the year 2020 and Mr Waldo Zutchovny, a former Grand Slam Tennis Champion from Ukraine who recently started the new automobile brand HIRONDEL, which gets its name from the fictional vehicle the Saint uses in Leslie Chateris’ The Saint novels. Mr. Zutchovny unveils its latest creation, a back to basics grand tourer modelled after the GTs of the 1930s. The Hirondel GT-SOT (Strafford on Trent) named after that famous English District famous for, being very British I suppose. The car is fully made from aluminium, having a aluminium spaceframe and an engine, rims, fascia made out of magnesium alloy. It has an engine that you start with, by heavens, something called a key. It has windows that move up and down by using your fingers and arm to turn a knob that goes round and round. Those from the 1970s would remember such a device. But what a tactile feel the mechanism has, as it is made from magnesium and is warm to the touch. The car is devoid of anything electrical and everything interacts with the driver manually. It is a car from a bygone era and Mr Waldo Zutchovny must be proud of taking motoring back to its roots.

“It doesn’t even have Sat Nav! How are we going to drive it around town?”

“My dear fellow, that’s what the map in the glove box is for! And that’s what your eyes are for; looking at street signs!” Said Waldo, to the crowd’s surprise and horror!

Will such an event happen? Or are we going to be more ‘thankful’ for Microsoft’s contribution in motoring? The ‘I’ Drive style setup. I mean really, if it wasn’t for a Windows style interface, such things wouldn’t have happened. Can we go back in time to assassinate Bill Gates? Or should we just try searching for the clever guy who wanted to interface that setup in all BMWs in the first place? Then again, I think I could live with it, as there is a bigger and more irritating thing about BMWs, the head of design Chris Bangle. Maybe we should go in time and get rid of him. But this is another story altogether. But if you also don’t like Chris Bangle as much as I do, go to this link:

http://www.petitiononline.com/STOPCB/petition.html

It's 2008...and nothing's really changed! Except the craze for donuts and the Lancer

Yes my friends...it's a new year and this is my first posting. We start the new year with the same ol' stuff actually; work, sleep, play, drink and eat. No new year's resolutions as they're just worthless talk and promises that no one will seem to keep. We have a new Proton Saga finally, and hopefully it won't last more than 250 years of production, which is how long the old one was in production. I'd like to see a new chassis every 8 years or so per model Proton, is that so hard to achieve? When the industry standard seems to be between 5 to 7 years, it shouldn't!

Anyways, I've got so many ideas in my head that isn't being translated to the blog right now and some may be new, some may have been discussed with a few friends and some may stay hidden. One of the strangest non-automotive trend that has hit Kuala Lumpur is standing in line for donuts...yes folks, Malaysians have a real big sweet tooth. J.CO. donuts recently opened up a store in Pavillion Shopping Mall recently and everyone seems to think it is okay queueing for donuts. This is a pretty pointless activity as you do not need to to queue for a piece of dough with a hole in the middle. You already queue for stamps, bill payments and other stuff, so I suppose it's alright for you to queue for donuts. There are better tasting pastries out there in the world. A fluffier donut does not mean you have to queue for it. There are better things to do other than queue. Furthermore, since its so popular, all you have to do is wait for more outlets or brances to be opened. Is that so hard? I mean, those donuts aren't going to be sold over the black market at a premium price. For example;

While queueing for a donut, Aishah (not her real name) is approached by Amin.

" Yo Sis, psst!"
"huh. apa dia?"
"Awak nak donut? Tak payah queue punya"
"Berapa?"
"RM10,00 for one"
"RM10.00? mahalnya"
"expensive abit la sis, but you don't need to queue"
"errr...okaylah"

This my friends, would not happen. It's a donut, not a ticket that can be scalped. The moral is, don't queue for something like a donut, queue for limited items, like a Mitsubishi Lancer GT, you pay the booking fee, then you can actually make a profit as the car can be sold with a RM6,000 premium over the retail price as demand is there! Amazing. This is because Mitsubishi cannot keep up with the demand of the new Lancer. This is a car that is better than a donut. You put your booking, wait 6 months (that's how long the waiting list is) and then, 3 months down the road you can talk to your sales rep and ask him to offer your car to a desparate customer for RM6,000 premium. It does not get better than this! With the money, have a nice high-tea at the Equatorial Hotel in K.L., the pastries taste so much better and there's actually no queue!