Slightly Off Topic: Okay, you’ve got your nice sports saloon….what else is there to do with your life?

You’ve already got your ___________(fill in the space here with your supermobile – MPVs aren’t included as they’re family mass carriers, telling the whole world you’re married with a ton of kids, hence very uncool). Now your ride has all that style/handling/horsepower (in any order whatsoever) your life is all but complete, till the next ride you’re hankering for that is. What else is there to do with your life?

It’s quite simple actually. You turn onto yourself. The reason being is that when you emerge from your Subaru Impreza or Lancer Evolution or even an Audi A4 at the hip “el fresco” stall that’s about half a hour’s drive (i.e.your regular happenin’ mamak stall) dressed in your fat crocs, your favourite t-shirt with that cigarette burn mark right on your tummy showing off your pale skin and shorts that only have a place on the football field you’re not only telling me and that you’re a sloppy dresser, but you have no respect for the car you drive. Why do I say so?

Firstly, you drive a fancy or luxurious car. People would be bound to stare when you make an entrance. The car passing by the stall before you park for instance. People would look and then keep on looking to see who (or what kind of horrific monster) emerges from the fancy automobile.

Secondly, the image of someone who dresses decently always captures the attention of most people (in a good way) instead of an image of a person who dresses like the neighbourhood lunatic (notice that every area has a dishevelled man/woman roaming the area in dirty and/or torn clothing). Just look at James Bond…..he does not drive off or exit his car dressed like a filthy psychotic pig farmer from Heck. And please, don’t tell me that you’ve never once in your whole life wanted to carry a Walther PPK, drive an Aston Martin, have a licence to kill and get to bed women with colourful names like Pussy Galore or Xenia Onattop. If you do, as would any red blooded men who is alive today, you’d want to be James Bond. Don't tell me that you can afford to take a half an hour's drive to the mamak and you can't spend 5 minutes throwing a decent outfit together. A pair of khakis or jeans, a polo T and a pair of driving mocs is only three pieces of clothing. What is so hard in that? Is it different from beach bum shorts, round neck t-shirt with a burn mark in it and a pair of rubber flip-flops which are also three items of clothing?

So you drive your fancy sedan or a pseudo rally monster or even an SUV and think you want to be James Bond. Just look what James Bond drives in Quantum of Solace; Aston Martin DBS, stolen Ford 4X4, a rented newly facelifted Volvo S40 (just before the Tosca theatre scene, a Range Rover to name a few. The Tom Ford tuxedo and suits aside, he also wears a decent pair of suede ankle boots for the finale, some decent pair of pants/khakis and a polo t-shirt or short sleeve shirt with a short jacket on top of it. Would it be too hard if you too tried this attire? You don’t have to go get exactly what James Bond wears. Just wear decent shoes when you drive that nice car of yours and you’ll seem to look properly dressed compared to others.

Ever notice how many people seem to go around in their rubber flip-flops or cheap looking leather but not leather sandals? Notice if they wore real quality sandals or shoes they would look slightly more dressed up even though they are wearing their oldest t-shirt and scruffiest looking pair of jeans they can find. It putting on a nice pair of sandals or shoes a hard thing to do? Is it so hard for you to invest in a pair of driving mocs or shoes and use it to the mamak stall? Is it also hard for you to wear a pair of jeans instead of some beach shorts that are meant for the beach? Especially if you have extremely scrawny legs you look pathetic. If you’re female, then shorts or skirts are fine, I’m discussing men here okay. So when you exit your ride at the mamak stall, everyone will at least say you're decently dressed for the car you drive. This is an image building thing, not an elitist thought.

Note- The only reason I’m using poor ol’ James ‘ere as an example is that that chap is the closest character who actually dresses decently most of the time and one that is easily recognised by all. I on the other hand wouldn’t follow James Bond to the ‘T’ on the fact that he’s a secret agent (no bright colours that may make him stand out in the crowd) and he doesn’t live in the humid tropics like I do (although you may see how he dresses for hot and humid climates in Casino Royale – Madagascar and the Caribbean scenes are the best)

One more for the road - Why are MPVs uncool? James Bond doesn't own one or even drive one, hence I rest my case.