An Alternative Means of Saving Petrol

Petrol it seems is in the hearts and minds of everyone I meet. It is because of the extreme increase in this commodity that everyone seems to be either a good Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Atheist or whatever religion you are practising. Everywhere I drive people are slow, in fact they are so bloody slow in changing lanes the wife, my daughter and I were nearly involved in a 'slow' accident as a VW MPV (for those of you who don't know - GTI) signalled and switch lanes following a BMW 5 Series, did not look behind as I was half a car's length from the BMW and she just came in! The worse thing was she did not accelerate. She stayed in the middle of 2 lanes and ignored the desperate horns comming from me. I mean being a slow driver is a good thing in times like this, but not at the expense of other road users. I may decide to dispense with the niceties and become the road hog i once was if things stay like this. I mean, the other day a friend of mine was hogging the overtaking lane on the Federal Highway at 70km/h and no one flashed at him, no one beeped at him, no one raise a finger at him. This is a little pathetic. The increase has gotten to everyone's head.

As a motorhead I am in a way enjoying this increase as traffic has lessened. More people are taking public transport and more people are thinking of innovative ways of travel. There are really cheap people who resort converting their Perodua Kancil to run NGV. While it's a good thing, as NGV is dirt cheap. It also shows the world that these people aren't just frugal, but extremely cheap. This sort of people would be those that take those small chilli sauce packets you get from takeaways and fill up their sauce bottles at home. Yes, it shows you're frugal, but it confirms that you're outright cheap.

I've heard of people using the LRT more these days. Yes, I've recently heard from my wife that her staff who commutes to work using the LRT that more people are using it to work in the mornings. It confirms the fact that there are less cars on the road in the morning. However, the thing is whether you can tollerate smelly armpits, roving hands (if you're a pretty woman) and pickpockets among other things as the LRT can be jam packed in the mornings. I can bet you the ministers who suggest to you that a change in your lifestyle is necessary have not taking the LRT or a Bus to work before. These people are the ones who actually never walk the talk if you know what I mean.

I mean, Mr. Why Should I Step Down, I've Got Work To Do recently announced his 10% cut to his RM18,000+ entertainment allowance. I don't even have a salary of RM18,000.00 to begin with and this person has an allowance for entertainment that much. He gets an approximately RM20,000.00 salary on top of that. He also gets other allowances on top of that too. I suppose RM1,800.00 would make him tighten his belt, buy a Perodua Viva limousine instead of a Proton Perdana Limousine to cut costs and run it using NGV. (a Perodua Viva limo - now that's a thought).

So with all of these changes happening to the motoring public, what could be do about it aside from walking more, taking the LRT,Converting your car to run on NGV, driving like Mother Theresa or staying home? You could buy a horse. Yes, buying a horse is a good idea. How about riding to work? A thoroughbred race horse that is about to be pensioned is a good choice. It may be cheap to buy and maintain unless he's a winning horse whereby his sperm could make baby racehorses hence make its purchase price expensive. Find one who's always lost, learn horseback riding (as a horse carriage would be considered as a trailer and fall under the jurisdiction of the RTD and you then need to licence it.) and trot to work. I was thinking, if I lived in a apartment, I'd park the horse at the grassy patch near the entrance of the apartment and let it graze and eat grass there. Later at night, I'd bring that horse to my apartment carpark which I've converted into a stable. I think it's a foolproof plan if you're travelling alone. The costs would be very little and you'll be kind to the environment as the only greenhouse gas the transport (horse) will produce if some methane when it farts.

1. Horse - RM6,000.00 for a pensioned horse (maybe cheaper, maybe more..ask around)
2. Saddle - RM1,000.00
3. Wood and Hammer - For the stable at your apartment car park - RM500.00
4. Broom and dustpan - to scoop up poo - RM25.00
5. Feed - RM50 per bag or less if you let your horse graze at the nearest playground.

This could be you on the way to work.

Weekly costs? Very negligible. It'll trot to work at a leisurely 15-20km/h and if you work about 20km away, you'll be there in under an hour. But if you push it, it'll think that it's in a race and really go for it and you may reach work earlier. What if you want a new model or if it breaks its leg? Well, buy a gun and shoot it like the cowboys do.

Think about it. I am only suggesting BUT can't attempt it as I got a kid to ferry around most of the time. No, I not making any excuses. Really.