The 'Professional' DSLR Cameraman, The 'Talents' and Some Advice

There is a new disease nowadays in good ol' Malaysia and it is called 'I am a professional cameraman and I need to publish nearly everything I shoot'. Everywhere you turn these days there are people carrying...no, more like lugging around big fat DSLRs to weddings, to shopping malls, to family reunions and even to bed with their wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or gay lover.

In the good ol' days of normal film based SLRs, the 1980s and 1990s, I used to see my dad and my uncles comparing their SLRs and their photographic skills. But in those days everything was like pot luck. When you took a photograph in the pre-digital days if was the luck of the draw. You would finish a roll of film, you readers know what a roll of film is don't you? Anyway, you would finish a roll of film and rush it off to the camera shop to get it developed. You do not have a clue on how the photograph may come out. Sometimes, it is exactly as you wanted it to be. Sometimes, it gets overdeveloped or under developed, either it's your own fault due to bad camera skills or the camera shop screws it up. The worse case that would happen is that you wrongly load the camera and it doesn't get developed at all.

All this has changed. With the advent of digital photography you can now edit your photographs on the spot. This means that you can pick and choose what photographs you want and what you don't want. But it also means that there is also a lack of impromptu or real life photos and everything looks picture perfect when it actually isn't.

Of course in the early days of digital photograpy, everyone wanted a point and shoot camera. The reason was that DSLRs were bloody expensive and people in the early days of digital photography took to point and shoot cameras because it was conveniently small. From lugging around large SLRs they now could carry around something small and compact. Which was great.

But then DSLRs got cheaper, as with all electronic goods over the years and it is now the era of the DSLR. Everyone's got one, including the fairer sex. In those days, only arts and design students from both sexes lugged around SLRs. Now, I see women taking up this hobby by the dozen, lugging around huge DSLRs like they were Japanese tourists.

Then everyone starts shooting photos and posting them on flicker, photo sharing sites, Facebook. Then suddenly appear some of the fairer sex posing for the 'professional' cameraman. Up pops out an industry of sorts where the fairer sex decided that they can be considered as talents for these professional hobbyist. The photos get downloaded and then shared on Facebook for all to see. And the thing was some of the 'professionals' actually were terrible photographers and some of them actually have the nerve in giving 'professional' advice to others. These people giving advice don't even read the manual in the first place.

One example that I wish to share is when I was at Kuala Selangor admiring the fireflies. These tiny creatures were busy flickering and it was a stupendous natural sight. The area was totally dark and silent. The signboards clearly state that no camera flash was allowed but I suppose some people, in this case a Malay lady with a DSLR and the largest flash attachment in the world decided to take a shot of these creatures. It was brighter than lighting for a split second and it basically caused the fireflies to scatter for a moment, destroying the moment. Some people should never be given a camera if they can't even read rules and regulations or respect nature. If I was the guy piloting the row boat, I'd hurl the DSLR into the mangrove trees, and feed the lady to the fishes. In near pitch black darkness, you can't take little bits of light with a flash. You need proper night vision camera equipment. This is just one example of these so called DSLR experts.

And then there are the photo talents that we get to see posted on social sites. Some of the so called 'talents' that these 'professionals' get to shoot actually need concrete as facial foundation. This is needed to actually hide their faces (and maybe parts of their non-model-like bodies). The people holding the cameras should sometimes tell their talents that they should stop being talents. The people holding the cameras should actually stop publishing their photo shoots as I sometimes believe that taking photos should actually tell a story, and taking photos of these talentless talents tell a 'B grade' story that isn't worth tellling. It's like wanting to watch Avatar but then you get to watch a rerun of The Smurfs. Both have blue characters in them but the differences are intergalactic.

So what am I trying to say then? Sometimes, the camera crazy hobbyist should take it easy and really think before they shoot or give camera advice. Sometimes, the person posing, who thinks that she is a Kate Moss, Eva Longoria, Kim Kardashian or even Jessica Biel is actually a Hantu Kak Limah. Both should not quit their day jobs and they should stop having delusions of grandeur by thinking they are genuine 'talents' or supermodels or whatnot.

This is much like the people who like putting up spoilers and stickers and thinking that their car is actually worthy of certain badges and large spoilers. A bit of general knowledge folks. At 160km/h the Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution 8's rear wing produces 68kg of downforce. However, at 0km/h, the huge DTM wing on the 'classic' Proton Saga that we see below makes the owner look like a dork. It doesn't even have alloy rims in the correct size (17inches and above for that touring car look) for Godssake. 175/70/13 does not portray 'race car'. Period. And it has extra cushions on the headrest too. The Proton Satria Neo on the left is much better. Plonk in a set of alloys and it is a bazillion times more sportier. It's like a girl in an evening gown and decked in jewellery, but she's wearing rubber flip flops. 

Photo of the 'Professional' taken from Mr Aqeeb's social network site. Thank You.